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RightGalaxy
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26 Nov 2021, 10:48 pm

QFT wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Why do these kids today send mile long break up texts? Why don't they just ghost?


I have the opposite question. Why do people ghost? Ghosting is very unfair since it leaves the other person stranded not knowing what is going on.


Ghosting is better, It's means "Game over". What is there to explain? If it was going to work out, they would be there, right? :)



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27 Nov 2021, 1:19 am

hurtloam wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Why do these kids today send mile long break up texts? Why don't they just ghost?


Why don't they do it in person like we did back in the day? Seems the most fair and decent way.

I would only ghost or do it by text if I thought I would be in danger.
It's not uncommon for relationships to involve a bit of long distance these days, especially now with the pandemic. All 3 relationships I had were mostly LDRs till I moved in with my current girlfriend. I would much rather a message conversation than suddenly hear nothing from someone I love. I'd like to know that she didn't die, wasn't majorly hurt, or in some other deep trouble. My 1st girlfriend had problems with drugs & alcohol which were part of the reason we broke up. Shortly after our breakup she was bragging online about how she drank so much that she had to get her stomach pumped & I flipped out. I haven't heard anything from her since & I MAJORLY HOPE she's still alive & OK. I would majorly hate for someone who loves me to be upset & worried that I"m OK. Yet us Aspies are considered to be the 1s who do not have empathy :roll:


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28 Nov 2021, 5:26 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
QFT wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Why do these kids today send mile long break up texts? Why don't they just ghost?


I have the opposite question. Why do people ghost? Ghosting is very unfair since it leaves the other person stranded not knowing what is going on.


Ghosting is better, It's means "Game over". What is there to explain? If it was going to work out, they would be there, right? :)

Unless something happened to them and they come back 1 month later, like it happened to me. Meanwhile their "best friend" tries hard to get in my pants and I resist. Imagine what would have happened if I didn't resist and moved on saying that's all there is to it. But I waited for him through hardship, keeping the hope alive. Now that's unfair to do that to someone. Prevent them to move on if you could help. What gain do you have in doing so?

You could explain for example that you're not a p___y?(or practice on your courage skills in a situation of necessity because they only build you up) And that the people that took part of your life you have enough decency (maybe care) to part with properly regardless of what they choose to do in their own life, the level they've reached at that point in life or the mistakes that they've made. To unconditionally behave (because you're responsible of your own behaviour) and give even without expecting to receive anything in return, or to value their feedback because you acknowledge you also need to grow in areas. To make a small gesture to save someone's sanity. Why would you treat them wrong? It doesn't help you or them. It only perpetuates destruction, it's like a pandemic. To set a good example they will remember? To judge them without judging them and talk to them from human to human. To allow yourself to be emotional and vulnerable and spend a last moment with them.


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Last edited by Rexi on 28 Nov 2021, 5:57 pm, edited 13 times in total.

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28 Nov 2021, 5:30 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
OutUponATreeBranch wrote:
So I've had women say that they don't actually want an official break up notice and prefer to be ghosted. Sounds crazy but that's what I heard.

That's right. Nobody wants to hear the famous it's not you, it me and all the other baloney. Better if they simply " feck off". I find long texts condescending.

Who says it's gotta be lies? There's the other alternative. But it is you, either way, so in a way that is also part of the truth. Even better if you can recognize the specific ways you've been wrong in because the only way to success is to become a better version of yourself and be genuine. And it's much better than to only blame the other or act like nothing's wrong when at that point it's obvious.


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28 Nov 2021, 6:24 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
Ghosting is better, It's means "Game over". What is there to explain? If it was going to work out, they would be there, right? :)

Ghosting (disappearing without explanation) could mean any number of things. The person could have died. Or been kidnapped. Or they could be deathly ill. Or lost their phone. Or their computer stopped working. Or they could be dealing with a family emergency.


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28 Nov 2021, 6:30 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Ghosting is better, It's means "Game over". What is there to explain? If it was going to work out, they would be there, right? :)

Ghosting (disappearing without explanation) could mean any number of things. The person could have died. Or been kidnapped. Or they could be deathly ill. Or lost their phone. Or their computer stopped working. Or they could be dealing with a family emergency.


Yes, especially since they often make up one of these things. Real life examples from my own experience:

1) Someone told me she had to cancel the meeting because she is ill due to one of the pregnancy-related things. She will contact me when she feels better. I never heard from her.

2) Someone told me she can't meet me because she needs to visit someone at the hospital that day. She will re-schedule. I never heard back from her.

3) Someone told me she can't give me a ride to her church this weekend because her car isn't working well. She might try another weekend. I never heard from her.

The list is much MUCH longer. But you got the jist.



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04 Dec 2021, 11:27 pm

After just two dates, ghosting is enough.



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04 Dec 2021, 11:37 pm

QFT wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Why do these kids today send mile long break up texts? Why don't they just ghost?


I have the opposite question. Why do people ghost? Ghosting is very unfair since it leaves the other person stranded not knowing what is going on.


That is why I hate it, happened to me more than once and it sucked. Like yeah one guy I thought things were going well with just stopped contacting me, sure after I stopped worrying about him and figured maybe he just wasn't interested he texted me back saying he didn't want anything long term but we could still hook up and I wasn't interested in that so I told him that. But yeah I lost sleep for like two weeks worrying maybe something bad happened to him, and it was just he couldn't just be up front that he wasn't seeing it working out.

Or one guy I was dating ghosted me for months, I even tried to messege him to see if he wanted to hang out or anything repeatedly. And with getting nothing back I moved on and met my boyfriend I have now...but after I got with my boyfriend that guy finally messeged me on facebook and then had the audacity to try and guilt trip me and try to criticize my boyfriend he knew nothing about acting like I should get back with him cause other girls didn't like him. And I mean I did like him and then he ghosted me so I had a hard time feeling sorry for him when that is how he treated me. But yeah you can't ghost someone for months and then expect they haven't moved on in life.

So yeah I agree ghosting is crappy because it does leave the other person wondering what the hell is going on or happened.


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05 Dec 2021, 2:12 am

It depends on the context on whether or not ghosting is acceptable or not.

If you're exclusively dating someone and want to break up with someone, DO NOT ghost them. That's the coward's way out, and kind of a dick move if we're being honest. It's better to either meet them in person or give them a call if you feel like your safety is on the line.

If you've been on a date or two with someone and you're not really feeling it; maybe you can send them a text and just tell them "I'm sorry, I didn't really feel a connection. Best of luck on your search." other than just flat out ghosting them.


But if you've been talking to a girl for not that long and you haven't even met up with her yet, then it's more acceptable to ghost. Because if you're talking to a girl online, you can't realistically say "im no longer interested in you" to every single girl; so ghosting or being left on read is just an indirect way of saying you're no longer interested.



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05 Dec 2021, 2:49 am

Muse933277 wrote:
It depends on the context on whether or not ghosting is acceptable or not.

If you're exclusively dating someone and want to break up with someone, DO NOT ghost them. That's the coward's way out, and kind of a dick move if we're being honest. It's better to either meet them in person or give them a call if you feel like your safety is on the line.

If you've been on a date or two with someone and you're not really feeling it; maybe you can send them a text and just tell them "I'm sorry, I didn't really feel a connection. Best of luck on your search." other than just flat out ghosting them.


But if you've been talking to a girl for not that long and you haven't even met up with her yet, then it's more acceptable to ghost. Because if you're talking to a girl online, you can't realistically say "im no longer interested in you" to every single girl; so ghosting or being left on read is just an indirect way of saying you're no longer interested.

I had a guy do that to me suddenly, everything was as usual and then he disappeared. Why couldn't he say something, I mean he took a lot more time talking to me the days before than a message of goodbye. I was still waiting before I 'got the message' about what he was doing but I could have been moving on much faster if he wasn't such a 'busy' low quality dater. It helps especially if you focus on just one person at a time cause you're waiting but they don't give a heck. But even not if you like the person cause you're not the ghoster, so you might be interested. Shouldn't show bad manners towards people who showed you interest and likely aren't catfish cause you can't be bothered to write a short line anymore.


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05 Dec 2021, 11:19 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
QFT wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Why do these kids today send mile long break up texts? Why don't they just ghost?


I have the opposite question. Why do people ghost? Ghosting is very unfair since it leaves the other person stranded not knowing what is going on.


That is why I hate it, happened to me more than once and it sucked. Like yeah one guy I thought things were going well with just stopped contacting me, sure after I stopped worrying about him and figured maybe he just wasn't interested he texted me back saying he didn't want anything long term but we could still hook up and I wasn't interested in that so I told him that. But yeah I lost sleep for like two weeks worrying maybe something bad happened to him, and it was just he couldn't just be up front that he wasn't seeing it working out.

Or one guy I was dating ghosted me for months, I even tried to messege him to see if he wanted to hang out or anything repeatedly. And with getting nothing back I moved on and met my boyfriend I have now...but after I got with my boyfriend that guy finally messeged me on facebook and then had the audacity to try and guilt trip me and try to criticize my boyfriend he knew nothing about acting like I should get back with him cause other girls didn't like him. And I mean I did like him and then he ghosted me so I had a hard time feeling sorry for him when that is how he treated me. But yeah you can't ghost someone for months and then expect they haven't moved on in life.

So yeah I agree ghosting is crappy because it does leave the other person wondering what the hell is going on or happened.


I think we are talking about two different kinds of ghosting. You are talking about the ghosting where the person comes back while I am talking about the ghosting where the person sticks by their guns. Now, as far as ghosting somone and coming back, thats what I done to others but nobody ever did that to me. On the other hand, as far as ghosting and sticking by the guns, thats what others did to me.

Regardless of who ghosts (or even if ghosting is present at all) the way I feel is that whoever "changes their mind" is a victim, while whoever "sticks to their guns" is the perpetrator. Because sticking to the guns is a sign of being in control of situation. While changing the mind is a sign of being socially awkward. So the person who changes their mind ends up with good intentions, they just had lapse of judgement. But the person who sticks to their guns is the one who does what they do with full force and full intention (whether it be ghosting or refusal to forgive the ghosting).

1) Here are examples where I ghosted and changed my mind:

a) There were two different women who were writing me very long messages. Now, you know that I am long winded myself, so I was actually thinking they were the best matches in the world for me. But then it became one up game: I would respond a paragraph to every sentence they wrote. So emails got logner and longer. Eventually I didn't have time and put it off, with full intention to respond. But then as months went by I didn't respond. Then several months later I came back trying to explain what happened but they weren't taking it. I was telling them -- and I meant EXACTLY what I said -- that they were the best possible matches for me because I like to be long winded and they are among the very few people that share this quality, and how ridiculous I feel like the exact thing I LIKE about them is what made things not work. Yet they ignored everything I said.

b) Then there were two other women when it was the same thing except that, instead of few months, it was on a scale of few days. As in, just a week went by without my responding rather than few months. So, unlike the other two women, I DID succeed getting them to talk to me after I came back, although it took a little bit of begging. But now they became picky. So they started calling me out on not answering all their questions (even though I DID answer their emails just not all the details) and then my missing out details became "signs" that they used to ultimately reject me. Again, I been telling then that the fact that we are both detail-oriented is a very rare thing we HAVE IN COMMON since most people say I am too long winded, and its pretty ironic that their complaint is the opposite. So the fact that both me and them are long winded are good reasons why things SHOULD work. Yet they totally ignored what I was saying and insisted that no they don't think I pay attention to details (despite almost everyone else in the planet disagreeing with them in this regard).

c) There was one woman who didn't respond right away but then she later told me that the reason for this is that I didn't express enough sympathy when she talked about her tooth being extracted and instead I asked whether she believes its a sin. I then told her that it was misunderstanding and I did feel sympathy for her. So then she tried to re-initiate conversation with me. But I felt like she only re-initiated conversation with me out of pity because she only did it after I said something. So then in order not to feel this way I decided to ghost her for over a month and come back. That way I would feel more even. Now notice that I did NOT lose interest in her. On the contrary she occupied enough of my mind for me to keep bragging to myself (and people on WrongPlanet -- see here viewtopic.php?t=381471) about my ghosting. However, when I did come back, SHE was the one who sticked to her guns about not liking me. As a matter of fact she even told me that there were other reasons she didn't like me outside my ghosting. So I was in fact right that she lost her interest before I ever ghosted her and only tried to talk to me out of pity.

2) The times when woman ghosted me Those times are too numerous to list. But they have the following things in common:

a) No explanation is ever given (Other than things like "I have to fix my car" or "I have to run to the hospital" -- and then no follow up what so ever)

b) None of those women ever try to come back

c) I am the one begging them to come back but they just wouldn't.

d) In fact they won't ever respond to any of my messages, not with a signle word

Now you see how, whether I ghost or she ghosts, it is always ME who ends up begging and HER who sticks to her guns? Thats why I feel like I am the victim.



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05 Dec 2021, 12:01 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
QFT wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Why do these kids today send mile long break up texts? Why don't they just ghost?


I have the opposite question. Why do people ghost? Ghosting is very unfair since it leaves the other person stranded not knowing what is going on.


Ghosting is better, It's means "Game over". What is there to explain? If it was going to work out, they would be there, right? :)

Back in say...the Victorian days...you might find folks writing long letters why they wanna break up. And you might find folks just ...not speaking to you. It all depends ...on the relationship, and the folks involved etc. But both opposite approaches (and everything in between) probably always existed.



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05 Dec 2021, 1:01 pm

QFT wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
QFT wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Why do these kids today send mile long break up texts? Why don't they just ghost?


I have the opposite question. Why do people ghost? Ghosting is very unfair since it leaves the other person stranded not knowing what is going on.


That is why I hate it, happened to me more than once and it sucked. Like yeah one guy I thought things were going well with just stopped contacting me, sure after I stopped worrying about him and figured maybe he just wasn't interested he texted me back saying he didn't want anything long term but we could still hook up and I wasn't interested in that so I told him that. But yeah I lost sleep for like two weeks worrying maybe something bad happened to him, and it was just he couldn't just be up front that he wasn't seeing it working out.

Or one guy I was dating ghosted me for months, I even tried to messege him to see if he wanted to hang out or anything repeatedly. And with getting nothing back I moved on and met my boyfriend I have now...but after I got with my boyfriend that guy finally messeged me on facebook and then had the audacity to try and guilt trip me and try to criticize my boyfriend he knew nothing about acting like I should get back with him cause other girls didn't like him. And I mean I did like him and then he ghosted me so I had a hard time feeling sorry for him when that is how he treated me. But yeah you can't ghost someone for months and then expect they haven't moved on in life.

So yeah I agree ghosting is crappy because it does leave the other person wondering what the hell is going on or happened.


I think we are talking about two different kinds of ghosting. You are talking about the ghosting where the person comes back while I am talking about the ghosting where the person sticks by their guns. Now, as far as ghosting somone and coming back, thats what I done to others but nobody ever did that to me. On the other hand, as far as ghosting and sticking by the guns, thats what others did to me.

Regardless of who ghosts (or even if ghosting is present at all) the way I feel is that whoever "changes their mind" is a victim, while whoever "sticks to their guns" is the perpetrator. Because sticking to the guns is a sign of being in control of situation. While changing the mind is a sign of being socially awkward. So the person who changes their mind ends up with good intentions, they just had lapse of judgement. But the person who sticks to their guns is the one who does what they do with full force and full intention (whether it be ghosting or refusal to forgive the ghosting).

1) Here are examples where I ghosted and changed my mind:

a) There were two different women who were writing me very long messages. Now, you know that I am long winded myself, so I was actually thinking they were the best matches in the world for me. But then it became one up game: I would respond a paragraph to every sentence they wrote. So emails got logner and longer. Eventually I didn't have time and put it off, with full intention to respond. But then as months went by I didn't respond. Then several months later I came back trying to explain what happened but they weren't taking it. I was telling them -- and I meant EXACTLY what I said -- that they were the best possible matches for me because I like to be long winded and they are among the very few people that share this quality, and how ridiculous I feel like the exact thing I LIKE about them is what made things not work. Yet they ignored everything I said.

b) Then there were two other women when it was the same thing except that, instead of few months, it was on a scale of few days. As in, just a week went by without my responding rather than few months. So, unlike the other two women, I DID succeed getting them to talk to me after I came back, although it took a little bit of begging. But now they became picky. So they started calling me out on not answering all their questions (even though I DID answer their emails just not all the details) and then my missing out details became "signs" that they used to ultimately reject me. Again, I been telling then that the fact that we are both detail-oriented is a very rare thing we HAVE IN COMMON since most people say I am too long winded, and its pretty ironic that their complaint is the opposite. So the fact that both me and them are long winded are good reasons why things SHOULD work. Yet they totally ignored what I was saying and insisted that no they don't think I pay attention to details (despite almost everyone else in the planet disagreeing with them in this regard).

c) There was one woman who didn't respond right away but then she later told me that the reason for this is that I didn't express enough sympathy when she talked about her tooth being extracted and instead I asked whether she believes its a sin. I then told her that it was misunderstanding and I did feel sympathy for her. So then she tried to re-initiate conversation with me. But I felt like she only re-initiated conversation with me out of pity because she only did it after I said something. So then in order not to feel this way I decided to ghost her for over a month and come back. That way I would feel more even. Now notice that I did NOT lose interest in her. On the contrary she occupied enough of my mind for me to keep bragging to myself (and people on WrongPlanet -- see here viewtopic.php?t=381471) about my ghosting. However, when I did come back, SHE was the one who sticked to her guns about not liking me. As a matter of fact she even told me that there were other reasons she didn't like me outside my ghosting. So I was in fact right that she lost her interest before I ever ghosted her and only tried to talk to me out of pity.

2) The times when woman ghosted me Those times are too numerous to list. But they have the following things in common:

a) No explanation is ever given (Other than things like "I have to fix my car" or "I have to run to the hospital" -- and then no follow up what so ever)

b) None of those women ever try to come back

c) I am the one begging them to come back but they just wouldn't.

d) In fact they won't ever respond to any of my messages, not with a signle word

Now you see how, whether I ghost or she ghosts, it is always ME who ends up begging and HER who sticks to her guns? Thats why I feel like I am the victim.


Well the first guy I ever dated did ghost me without ever contacting me again, I forgot to mention that. In retrospect though it's probably good he didn't I probably wouldn't have been happy to hear from him. He just led me on and took advantage so all I would have had to say to him would be 'f*** off'.

But yeah, I suppose in most cases I did hear from guys who ghosted me later on.

I'd say in example B it seems that woman may have been being a bit unfair, especially if you hadn't met in person a week isn't that long.

As for the other two I think you did wait too long once it gets to be a month or more, there is a good chance the person will have moved on and may even be in a relationship. It may not matter what your intent was, like in example A you may have meant to respond but you didn't for months and by then it was too late. All you can really do about that is try to keep up on communicating when you're having some success talking to a woman, most people aren't going to put their life on hold waiting to hear back from someone for months.


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05 Dec 2021, 9:40 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Well the first guy I ever dated did ghost me without ever contacting me again, I forgot to mention that. In retrospect though it's probably good he didn't I probably wouldn't have been happy to hear from him. He just led me on and took advantage so all I would have had to say to him would be 'f*** off'.


That is the difference between you and me right there. In my case I wouldn't send them away; on the contrary, I would be excited to hear from them. As a matter of fact, hearing from someone who ghosted me would be even higher priority than hearing from someone who haven't, because it is an "Unfinished business" so to speak. I need to find out just why their "tiny" mishap with the hospital or the car resulted in my never hearing from them and what really happened. That plus also I need to find out what is it I did that caused them to react in such an extreme manner.

Let me give you example to illustrate this point. So at the end of this august I was supposed to skype with a girl. THen last moment I realized I need to buy something for school, so I postponed that skype by half an hour. Then it took longer than half an hour: it took an hour. Then when I finally came to skype, there was a loud music at the caffee I came to, then when I tried to go outside the connection didn't work well, etc. Then finally when I found a place where everything worked she said "we have 15 minutes left" (she was sticking to her original time slot for hour conversation). I was like "oh dummit! We were supposed to talk for two hours! Can we talk again?!" But on her end it was the opposite. You see, she felt like I came unprepared, so she wasn't that interested in taking again. So you see how our reactions are opposite? On my end I felt like I HAVe to talk again because it is "unfinished business" and on her end she didn't feel like it because she felt it was my fault I came unprepared. Well if it was my fault its all the more of an "Unfinished business" when it comes to me having to fix it. Yet she just didn't see it that way.

Sweetleaf wrote:

As for the other two I think you did wait too long once it gets to be a month or more, there is a good chance the person will have moved on and may even be in a relationship.


I assume they weren't in a relationship because they didn't tell me that they were. I mean they DID respond to me, telling me I waited too long and blah blah blah. Yet they never mentioned any relationship.



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05 Dec 2021, 11:49 pm

nick007 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Why do these kids today send mile long break up texts? Why don't they just ghost?


Why don't they do it in person like we did back in the day? Seems the most fair and decent way.

I would only ghost or do it by text if I thought I would be in danger.
It's not uncommon for relationships to involve a bit of long distance these days, especially now with the pandemic. All 3 relationships I had were mostly LDRs till I moved in with my current girlfriend. I would much rather a message conversation than suddenly hear nothing from someone I love. I'd like to know that she didn't die, wasn't majorly hurt, or in some other deep trouble. My 1st girlfriend had problems with drugs & alcohol which were part of the reason we broke up. Shortly after our breakup she was bragging online about how she drank so much that she had to get her stomach pumped & I flipped out. I haven't heard anything from her since & I MAJORLY HOPE she's still alive & OK. I would majorly hate for someone who loves me to be upset & worried that I"m OK. Yet us Aspies are considered to be the 1s who do not have empathy :roll:


yeah, that is why I think ghosting is crappy...at least let the person know if you're going to cut contact. Like one guy I was dating litterally moved out of his apartment and didn't contact me. After days of no contact I actually walked over to his place and it was empty so I knew he had moved out. I still had his number as he hadn't changed that so I called him to ask him like wtf? he apologized but admitted he moved out to California with some friends and though he liked me it wasn't going to work out.

But for sure if I hadn't called him and demanded to know what was going on, he would have kept on with ghosting me. At least he was apologetic, but still he could have just told me he didn't see it working out and that he had to move away instead of running away like a coward with no intention of giving me an explanation. So for sure on the side of having been ghosted I can say it can cause quite a bit of stress when you come to think you care for someone and suddenly they won't talk to you at all.


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06 Dec 2021, 12:05 am

QFT wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Well the first guy I ever dated did ghost me without ever contacting me again, I forgot to mention that. In retrospect though it's probably good he didn't I probably wouldn't have been happy to hear from him. He just led me on and took advantage so all I would have had to say to him would be 'f*** off'.


That is the difference between you and me right there. In my case I wouldn't send them away; on the contrary, I would be excited to hear from them. As a matter of fact, hearing from someone who ghosted me would be even higher priority than hearing from someone who haven't, because it is an "Unfinished business" so to speak. I need to find out just why their "tiny" mishap with the hospital or the car resulted in my never hearing from them and what really happened. That plus also I need to find out what is it I did that caused them to react in such an extreme manner.

Let me give you example to illustrate this point. So at the end of this august I was supposed to skype with a girl. THen last moment I realized I need to buy something for school, so I postponed that skype by half an hour. Then it took longer than half an hour: it took an hour. Then when I finally came to skype, there was a loud music at the caffee I came to, then when I tried to go outside the connection didn't work well, etc. Then finally when I found a place where everything worked she said "we have 15 minutes left" (she was sticking to her original time slot for hour conversation). I was like "oh dummit! We were supposed to talk for two hours! Can we talk again?!" But on her end it was the opposite. You see, she felt like I came unprepared, so she wasn't that interested in taking again. So you see how our reactions are opposite? On my end I felt like I HAVe to talk again because it is "unfinished business" and on her end she didn't feel like it because she felt it was my fault I came unprepared. Well if it was my fault its all the more of an "Unfinished business" when it comes to me having to fix it. Yet she just didn't see it that way.

Sweetleaf wrote:

As for the other two I think you did wait too long once it gets to be a month or more, there is a good chance the person will have moved on and may even be in a relationship.


I assume they weren't in a relationship because they didn't tell me that they were. I mean they DID respond to me, telling me I waited too long and blah blah blah. Yet they never mentioned any relationship.


Well in my case all that guy did was use me, he didn't care about me...he cared about that I was willing to do intimate activities with him. I rationalized that after he finally completely ghosted me. I just was really excited of having a boyfriend in college so I ignored some of the signs he was just using me. So yeah after the fact even if he did contact me again I probably would have told him to f**k off, since I wasn't really anything to him anyways. Like there would have been no value in having further communication with him anyways.

Also though after a couple months or more, even if it is not a relationship the person may have decided to move somewhere further away, or they are at a different point in their life or maybe they are feeling bad you took so long answering back and don't want to gamble with getting with someone who might not be reliable and might refuse to communicate for months on end. Seriously though if you do get some good contact with someone you have to stay active...hell if you need to get a white board and erasable markers and put a note saying 'talk to (insert whoever you are talking to) today!. I sometimes forget things I should remember to, so I have a white-board to write notes to myself to remember things.


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We won't go back.