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QFT
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07 Dec 2021, 1:27 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Young women don’t often think about the “future” when it comes to guys.


Not all of them were young. The ones in category "b" were, but the ones in "a" and "c" weren't.

As far as category "a", one of them was 34 (and I was 35), the other one was 36 (and I was also 36).

As far as category "b", one of them was 25 (and I was 31), the other one was 32 (and I was 34).

As far as category "c", she was 37 (and I was 39).

kraftiekortie wrote:
I wish you would find a fellow theoretical physicist….


I wish too, not just because I would get along better but also because of pride.

However, back in 2005 a mathematician woman approached me in class. But then she lost interest after I told her my mom shelters me. She decided this means I would expect women to shelter me too even though that is the exact thing I resent my mom doing. Why would I ever expect women to do the exact thing I resent? Yet I couldn't get that piece of information to her.



ironpony
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08 Dec 2021, 5:44 pm

hurtloam wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Why do these kids today send mile long break up texts? Why don't they just ghost?


Why don't they do it in person like we did back in the day? Seems the most fair and decent way.

I would only ghost or do it by text if I thought I would be in danger.


I prefer if someone broke up with me over text because then I don't have to deal with the awkwardness of it in person. I would never break up over test myself though and feel like it would be terrible and shallow of me to do that. But I prefer if the other person does it to spare me though.



AngelL
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09 Dec 2021, 12:09 am

Fnord wrote:
My sympathies are more with those men and women who receive divorce papers while on military deployment.[/color]


Thanks.



AngelL
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09 Dec 2021, 12:19 am

QFT wrote:
The word "datable" refers to potential in the distant future. The word "right away" refers to here and now. So "datable right away" is like you are equating here and now with the potential in the distant future. And THAT is the exact concept I find insulting.
[/quote]

I disagree. The word "edible" does not refer to potential in the distant future. Even Twinkies go bad in some distant future.



AngelL
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09 Dec 2021, 12:43 am

QFT wrote:
I have the opposite question. Why do people ghost? Ghosting is very unfair since it leaves the other person stranded not knowing what is going on.


If I had to guess it is because they are unwilling to invest any more energy into the 'relationship' because they have determined it is DOA. I believe that most people have it in them to make the effort, out of courtesy, to tell the other person that it's over. However, I also believe that the number of people who are willing to do so decreases dramatically if they believe the other person is going to make it painful.

If there's any chance the person might get physically violent is the obvious one. Or worse, for a lot of us, the emotional violence. Some people when they're broken up with get verbally vicious - stuff that can kill self-confidence moving forward. Some others attack in more insidious ways, begging piteously and playing on their sympathies until they feel significantly bad enough to not leave you. How many times have I been promised that if I don't take them back then they'll...well, you know. For anyone saying to themselves, "But I wouldn't have done any of those things!" I think for most people, just the fear that the other person would, is enough.

I've never ghosted anyone and I've never, NEVER had anyone make it even close to easy. I can see why some people would.



Rexi
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30 Dec 2021, 11:53 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Young women don’t often think about the “future” when it comes to guys.

I wish you would find a fellow theoretical physicist….

I think They do, that's why they care whether he has or not a future possibility to get better, they just dont believe he agrees with them enough to want to change, lost trust (at that point im sure its lost too badly because theyre expressing theres no hope), and no potential could mean issues that he will not be able to fix not because he wants to, but because he doesnt understand or agree with it. No potential to change or have a relationship with them because he innately hurts them with most of what he does and the way he chooses to behave to resolve things. It could be about being rigid, not offering them hope and showing his potential and how strong and understanding he can be. Or being too misinformed and inexperienced to even make good choices in the first place. Potential could mean learning from past mistakes and not continuing to hurt them in the same way, same old story, no improvement.


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