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RightGalaxy
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16 Nov 2021, 5:02 pm

Why do these kids today send mile long break up texts? Why don't they just ghost?



Fnord
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16 Nov 2021, 5:08 pm

Whatever became of the traditional "Dear John" or "Dear Jane" letter?



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16 Nov 2021, 5:15 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
Why do these kids today send mile long break up texts? Why don't they just ghost?


Perhaps they've experienced being ghosted repeatedly and prefer it the closure that an explanation provides?

Social norms like that shift when people decide the old way was worse.


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16 Nov 2021, 5:22 pm

Fnord wrote:
Whatever became of the traditional "Dear John" or "Dear Jane" letter?


I remember men getting those at the big house many years ago. They're still needed when a rectal phone can't be charged often enough.

What an absolute laugh those letters were, especially when the receiver was "on a long holiday" and they got rumbled by their girlfriends.



Fnord
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16 Nov 2021, 5:46 pm

Nades wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Whatever became of the traditional "Dear John" or "Dear Jane" letter?
I remember men getting those at the big house many years ago. They're still needed when a rectal phone can't be charged often enough.  What an absolute laugh those letters were, especially when the receiver was "on a long holiday" and they got rumbled by their girlfriends.
My sympathies are more with those men and women who receive divorce papers while on military deployment.



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16 Nov 2021, 5:50 pm

Fnord wrote:
Nades wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Whatever became of the traditional "Dear John" or "Dear Jane" letter?
I remember men getting those at the big house many years ago. They're still needed when a rectal phone can't be charged often enough.  What an absolute laugh those letters were, especially when the receiver was "on a long holiday" and they got rumbled by their girlfriends.
My sympathies are more with those men and women who receive divorce papers while on military deployment.


Divorce papers given like that sounds ruthless.



Fnord
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16 Nov 2021, 5:55 pm

Nades wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Nades wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Whatever became of the traditional "Dear John" or "Dear Jane" letter?
I remember men getting those at the big house many years ago. They're still needed when a rectal phone can't be charged often enough.  What an absolute laugh those letters were, especially when the receiver was "on a long holiday" and they got rumbled by their girlfriends.
My sympathies are more with those men and women who receive divorce papers while on military deployment.
Divorce papers given like that sounds ruthless.
It is even worse when dependent children are involved, and being present at the scheduled hearing is impossible.

Some people go AWOL, some hit the bottle, and some will even "eat a bullet".



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17 Nov 2021, 3:43 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
Why do these kids today send mile long break up texts? Why don't they just ghost?


Why don't they do it in person like we did back in the day? Seems the most fair and decent way.

I would only ghost or do it by text if I thought I would be in danger.



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19 Nov 2021, 5:56 pm

So I've had women say that they don't actually want an official break up notice and prefer to be ghosted. Sounds crazy but that's what I heard.



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19 Nov 2021, 6:02 pm

What's wrong with keeping it short and to the point?


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Fnord
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19 Nov 2021, 6:03 pm

Given the "My way or the highway" ultimatum, I have almost always chose the "highway" option (the first two times were exceptions), and then ghosted the women who gave it.  Demanding that I either become their slave or that I leave never left any room for negotiation, so why bother?  Best to just "rip the band-aid loose" and be done with it, once and for all.



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20 Nov 2021, 4:50 am

Because an 'im leaving you' is careless and doesn't provide closure information, the reason why and feedback or reassurance on good areas. So you have to explain but usually the person needs to be there so they can ask questions and be more like a presence back and forth rather than shooting a text and disappearing to bang the first person at the first party or their friend whom theyve always had a crush on. Denotes respect and a meaningful departing and allows people to say goodbye to each other, feel and cry one last time. Emotions and situations are complicated and take text to explain. 'im leaving cuz ur ugly' just does not suffice.

Ghosting can be detrimental to people as they spend time wondering what happened to their dear one and worrying. There's a tv show about ghosters on MTV, it's quite faked but the essence is clear. Ghosted: Love Gone Missing. The stories and people are mainly real but the drama is staged and probably added stiff on top of it.



If you don't like it don't do it to others. Exception from the case is physical abuse but you can meet in public. If you keep getting dragged back in you've gotta leave faster though before emotions reach over you or have someone help you, tell you to leave. Regardless of people's mistakes and actions your own actions belong to you.


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RightGalaxy
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21 Nov 2021, 11:18 pm

Fnord wrote:
Nades wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Whatever became of the traditional "Dear John" or "Dear Jane" letter?
I remember men getting those at the big house many years ago. They're still needed when a rectal phone can't be charged often enough.  What an absolute laugh those letters were, especially when the receiver was "on a long holiday" and they got rumbled by their girlfriends.
My sympathies are more with those men and women who receive divorce papers while on military deployment.

Now that's painful.



RightGalaxy
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21 Nov 2021, 11:25 pm

OutUponATreeBranch wrote:
So I've had women say that they don't actually want an official break up notice and prefer to be ghosted. Sounds crazy but that's what I heard.

That's right. Nobody wants to hear the famous it's not you, it me and all the other baloney. Better if they simply " feck off". I find long texts condescending.



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23 Nov 2021, 1:50 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
Why do these kids today send mile long break up texts? Why don't they just ghost?

Would you actually prefer to be ghosted???

Much better to let the person know, IMO. Why not?

Or would you just prefer that they keep it short and to the point?


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Last edited by Mona Pereth on 23 Nov 2021, 1:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

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23 Nov 2021, 1:52 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
Why do these kids today send mile long break up texts? Why don't they just ghost?


I have the opposite question. Why do people ghost? Ghosting is very unfair since it leaves the other person stranded not knowing what is going on.