If you could make the rules, what would they be?
Classic Six Feet Under - Wish I could find a clip of it.
Claire: "You know, it's polite for the first person downstairs to make the coffee, even if that person has a penis."
Nate: "Well, you know, it's also polite for the first person who uses the bathroom to spend less than forty-five minutes in there, even if that person has a vulva."
Ruth: (coming in) "Oh, goodness, everyone's here."
David: "With all their genitalia!"
_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
funeralxempire
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Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,499
Location: Right over your left shoulder
Just because you have a penis doesn’t mean that I want you to drive me everywhere.
This is a dilemma. On the one hand, I hate being driven by other people. On the other, I hate driving with passengers.
_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う
Just because you have a penis doesn’t mean that I want you to drive me everywhere.
This is a dilemma. On the one hand, I hate being driven by other people. On the other, I hate driving with passengers.
Separate cars or public transportation!
Do you hate driving with all passengers or is it more like backseat drivers?
I’m more likely to get motion sickness when I’m not driving.
_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess
I HATE being a passenger. Hate Hate Hate.
It's a sensory thing because when I drive I normally blast my music at extremely high volume and play the same song on repeat for hours (11 hours is my record for one song.)
I get antsy and stir crazy when someone else drives.
I notice all the weird sounds more because I'm not focussed on driving (windscreen wipers, tickers, honking horns) and I have misophonia attacks.
I hate that people want to make conversation when driving (See: Loud Music, above).
I hate sitting beside people (I'd rather be face to face if I have to be with someone).
I hate when they put on the radio and there's news or weather.
I can't handle "talking voices" or adverts on the radio.
I'm a really stressy passenger.
If I have to go somewhere in the city that's unfamiliar I'd likely want my partner to drive.
I'd bite the bullet for that.
We don't drive together very often since we just go to each other's house most of the time.
I also like the way guys are (usually) really good drivers in terms of parallel parking or towing things.
New Rules:
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Don't keep secrets.
Don't do the "I didn't want to hurt your feelings" thing.
Women aren't china dolls and we aren't going to shatter if he makes a mistake.
Fess the hell up.
_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,499
Location: Right over your left shoulder
Just because you have a penis doesn’t mean that I want you to drive me everywhere.
This is a dilemma. On the one hand, I hate being driven by other people. On the other, I hate driving with passengers.
Separate cars or public transportation!
Do you hate driving with all passengers or is it more like backseat drivers?
I’m more likely to get motion sickness when I’m not driving.
Just in general I get anxious because I feel like they're always a potential distraction. I can't have music either, but I don't mind having a loud exhaust.
I don't like not being in control because I end up trying to 'drive' subconsciously and they always do it differently.
_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う
It was brutal when my daughter learned to drive because it was just after my big stroke, meaning I wasn't allowed to drive. I couldn't teach her and I couldn't ever take the wheel after she got licensed. In my opinion she tailgated. In her opinion I was always back-seat driving or yelling STOP!, which made her freak out and nearly hit things.
It didn't help that she smashed into a car when trying to park during her first week of being licensed and her insurance went through the roof. I had to avoid the "I told you so" attitude for a few years until I could drive again. I hated being dependent on her.
She's a great driver now so I think it was all my anxiety feeding into her inexperience.
_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,735
Location: the island of defective toy santas
It didn't help that she smashed into a car when trying to park during her first week of being licensed and her insurance went through the roof. I had to avoid the "I told you so" attitude for a few years until I could drive again. I hated being dependent on her.
She's a great driver now so I think it was all my anxiety feeding into her inexperience.
My ex would yell loudly at me when I was driving. He would almost get me into an accident sometimes. Then I’d be anxious and drive even worse.
I’m a decent driver. My last accident was 15 years ago.
_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess
I feel that. ^
My husband always drove everywhere.
He had a rule that "the driver controls the radio" ( ... and heat, and AC, and pee-breaks, etc.)
I couldn't even change the song on a CD (Lion King was huge then and I agonised through the bad songs.)
Eventually he sprained his ankle or broke his leg or something.
I can't remember what happened but he had crutches and I had to drive.
I thought I'd get to control the radio.
Suddenly, the rule became "the injured person gets control ... "
Asshat.
_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
techstepgenr8tion
Veteran
Joined: 6 Feb 2005
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 24,194
Location: 28th Path of Tzaddi
As recommended by Richard Reeves I'd red-shirt men (hold them back a year) in education so they were developmentally in-phase with academia and more likely to succeed, thus giving women more successful men to look across and upward at.
If evidence bore out that men did better with hands-on learning I'd also perhaps do more to bifurcate education for men in that direction, again for reasons stated above.
Increased incentivization for male children to have either fathers, uncles, or good male mentors of some type around to give them a point of reference on what it looks like to turn out well as a male.
I'd also do my level best to figure out one of the following and implement it:
a) Figure out why social capital and meeting places have been on such a deep decline (the whole 'Bowling Alone' thing) and try to re-incentivize formation of stable social capital, this way people could not only do more interesting things in groups but wouldn't be as stuck to Tinder and other dating apps.
b) For people who really like dating apps over meeting people in person I'd build a new dating app that encourages positive interaction, open forum rather than walled, and structurally penalizes spamming (ie. the guys who'd count 3,894,241 women on the service and bulkmail requests to all of them in one evening). It would be a bit like the Instagram dating scene but a site specifically for dating - although if straight guys or girls made great friendships there too that's cool as well.
Pretty much anything I could do to reconstitute the health of dating, mating, and family world by better satisfying the principles of Darwinian game theory I'd do it.
_________________
“Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. I use the word "love" here not merely in the personal sense but as a state of being, or a state of grace - not in the infantile American sense of being made happy but in the tough and universal sense of quest and daring and growth.” - James Baldwin
More public water fountains and trash cans.
Pet peeve ^.
Social rules:
Don't force conversation and small talk on people or be offended if they're quiet.
Eye contact should only be between consenting adults.
Learn to forgive yourself and others as necessary.
Everyone is equal until and unless they prove otherwise (e.g., committing first degree crimes).
We are human beings before any other subcategory of gender, race, religion, creed, ability, etc.
_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,735
Location: the island of defective toy santas
My husband always drove everywhere.
He had a rule that "the driver controls the radio" ( ... and heat, and AC, and pee-breaks, etc.)
I couldn't even change the song on a CD (Lion King was huge then and I agonised through the bad songs.)
Eventually he sprained his ankle or broke his leg or something.
I can't remember what happened but he had crutches and I had to drive.
I thought I'd get to control the radio.
Suddenly, the rule became "the injured person gets control ... "
Asshat.
OH MY GAWD!! !
So this is you? EEP!! !
<Pepe runs for the hills>
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