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Feeling less confident after this

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Jamesy
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30 Jan 2022, 2:28 pm

Last night we were all showing each other our ID photos. When I showed my ID pic to one of my friends he said “you used to be so handsome”. Is it normal for me to feel less confident after a comment like that? I was 24 in the photo (I am 32 now)


When the picture was taken of me I weighed 140-145 lbs and I currently weigh 168-175 pounds. Not sure really if it might be just a simple matter of losing weight or not?



theprisoner
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30 Jan 2022, 2:39 pm

Low-key taking a dig. Or she's just being honest.


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Jamesy
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30 Jan 2022, 2:45 pm

theprisoner wrote:
Low-key taking a dig. Or she's just being honest.



You shouldn’t really just go from being handsome to being not? I am still the same person after all.



theprisoner
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30 Jan 2022, 3:01 pm

Maybe she just doesn't like fat. People naturally look better slimmer they are. Also aging is unkind. Bags under eyes etc, wrinkles.

Naturally the younger you are, the more handsome you are going to look. But that said...

She was clearly dissing you, bro.

NT are generally not that rude. She knew what she was doing.


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Jamesy
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30 Jan 2022, 3:04 pm

theprisoner wrote:
Maybe she just doesn't like fat. People naturally look better slimmer they are. Also aging is unkind. Bags under eyes etc, wrinkles.

Naturally the younger you are, the more handsome you are going to look. But that said...

She was clearly dissing you, bro.

NT are generally not that rude. She knew what she was doing.



It was a guy that said it not a girl



theprisoner
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30 Jan 2022, 3:05 pm

Well, it was definitely a diss then.

Should have dissed him back immediately, "what you fancy my younger self then?" I'm handsome now, what are you ghey for me , mate" something like that..anything like that...any reply you could think of..would be better than silence...or just sulking...


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Minervx_2
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30 Jan 2022, 6:16 pm

You don't need to lose weight.

But maybe do a body recomposition. Same weight, but lower bodyfat % and more muscle. Eat the same calories you normally do, but increase the amount of protein and lift weights.



Jamesy
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30 Jan 2022, 6:30 pm

Minervx_2 wrote:
You don't need to lose weight.

But maybe do a body recomposition. Same weight, but lower bodyfat % and more muscle. Eat the same calories you normally do, but increase the amount of protein and lift weights.



The problem is that unlike weight there aren’t many scales around that measure your body fat percentage.



KimD
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30 Jan 2022, 6:37 pm

Heavier does not necessarily mean "ugly," nor does being older. Some indiciduals and some entire cultures disagree strongly with the way Americans/westerners obsess over things ike these.

If you are fit and happy, you're doing a lot better than a whole bunch of trimmer and younger people! Your "friend" was either telling a bad joke or being flat-out rude. Please try not to internalize the comment (easier to say than do, maybe). Do what you want to do for yourself, because of yourself.



Jamesy
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30 Jan 2022, 7:09 pm

My friend also said “I would look sexier if my hair was shorter at the sides”



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30 Jan 2022, 10:12 pm

Why would people show each other I.D. photos? Isn't it unsafe for someone to know your exact birth date or possibly where you live? What that woman said to you was mean to say - she could've kept it to herself if she really thought that. Sounds like she's getting even for something or views you as a bit toffey-nosed and wanted to bring you down a peg.
:roll:



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30 Jan 2022, 10:13 pm

Jamesy wrote:
My friend also said “I would look sexier if my hair was shorter at the sides”


You could've come back with "You'd look sexier if you were someone else." :lol:

fnord!! ! where are you??? :D



Last edited by RightGalaxy on 30 Jan 2022, 10:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Dox47
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30 Jan 2022, 10:14 pm

Was this a sober activity? Either way I wouldn't read too much into it, but if drinking was involved I really wouldn't read too much into it.


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RightGalaxy
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30 Jan 2022, 10:16 pm

Dox47 wrote:
Was this a sober activity? Either way I wouldn't read too much into it, but if drinking was involved I really wouldn't read too much into it.

Either get even or do nothing - if you don't want to get even, then don't read into it too much. Peace Bro. :heart:



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31 Jan 2022, 2:37 pm

Why does everyone keep imagining it was a woman who made the comment? OP literally says "he" in his opening post.



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31 Jan 2022, 4:34 pm

Barchan wrote:
Why does everyone keep imagining it was a woman who made the comment? OP literally says "he" in his opening post.
Likely because it seems more like something a woman would say.  I base this on countless similar experiences, all involving women.  It could also be a typo or an intermittent 's' key.

Whether it is a man or a woman who said it, it is not a nice thing to say, even if it may be true.