ROMANCE? HAVE YOU RESEARCHED IT?

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1. To the older Aspies: I don't know about you, but I had the same desperation for a love life that so many are expressing here.
I didn't have a girlfriend until a few months before I married her when I was 23 "centuries" old. And I so badly wish I hadn't!! ! That mistake cursed my life for 30 years.

2. Have y'all noticed that when you want something really badly, that the very strong attraction to "whatever or whoever", acts very much like a Gravity Well, and DISTORTS EVERYTHING AROUND YOU, especially your interaction with the very people you would like to get closer to, and also your social perception and judgment. I now avoid all VERY STRONG FORCES.

3. Why is it that no kind of relationship but romance will satisfy people. ROMANCE is not naturally occurring. I think it might be something like mass hypnosis, judging by it's effects on people. And I think the concept didn't make its appearance until around the 15th or 16th century - I don't trust my memory anymore.

4. And why does having good friends, or even FWB's count for nothing? There is no magic in romance - it's all in our imagination - I think

Romance is nice—but it’s not Garden of Eden material, or the Holy Grail.

It’s not something that’s worth all these lamentations….especially the notion that without it, there’s nothing else worth living for.

During my teens and 20's, I went through that phase too and though I didn't land a significant other, I found myself

1. Going on a few blind dates which I talked about in another post about love on the spectrum
2. Chasing a few guys who I thought liked me back when I was not interested. However, one of them did a good job of jerking me around by constantly getting my hopes up.
3. I met a guy on the streets but met him in public and did a double date with another couple who were engaged at the time only discover that he had an agenda.

Therefore, I was exhausted and learned to take a break for a while and just enjoy my life. That said, I met my current boyfriend years ago and we were friends for many years first. However, I am now discovering that he and I had liked each other for years. I just didn't realize it until now.

The first half of my twenties, I was TERRIBLE with women. If dating were a game of Fortnite, I was that 80 year old grandma who's never even picked up a video game controller, let alone play a game of Fortnite before.

I was terrible with women due to a combination of different factors. As a fresh faced 21 year old, I was short, underweight, and socially awkward as a result of aspergers. I looked like a combination of skinny Steve Rodgers and Mclovin. Still, I had a huge interest in girls due to raging hormones, so I did everything I possibly could to find a girlfriend while I was in college. From online dating, to meeting women in person, and even working out 3-5 times a week, I was largely unsuccessful and rejected by every single girl I asked out. As a result, I fell into depression for a long time. Everyone else was finding a girlfriend and getting laid, why not me? Of course, that answer was because i'm a short autistic male, but I had to learn that the hard way.



I started becoming more successful when I started looking online, specifically trying to meet women long-distance, so maybe when I am older and graduated from college, I might try to look for women internationally as this seems to be the go-to option.