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MuddRM
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14 Mar 2022, 4:28 am

babybird wrote:
Or even date you?

What have you got to offer another human being in a relationship. I mean you can't be selfish in a relationship, it has to be a two way thing, surely.

I ask myself this and I can honestly say that at this moment in time I would not marry me. I'm too childish, I have empathy issues, I'm slightly on the NPD side as well and although I am aware of this I would not wish to become unwittingly abusive to someone.

I am in a really good LDR and it is great but as for anything more than that I'm just not ready yet.

Would you marry you?


HELL, NO!! !! !

I hate myself so as it is!



cyberdad
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14 Mar 2022, 4:44 am

Would I marry a female or male version of myself?



auntblabby
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14 Mar 2022, 5:39 am

any version you wanted.



auntblabby
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14 Mar 2022, 5:40 am

magz wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
wish i had that "problem." how could that be a problem? :huh:

Trust me, it can :P

the professionals never seem to have any troubles taking such to the max.



magz
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14 Mar 2022, 6:31 am

auntblabby wrote:
the professionals never seem to have any troubles taking such to the max.
Professionals are always a pre-selected group.


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txfz1
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14 Mar 2022, 8:46 am

Interesting question, how could you say no? If you can't meet your own standards, why would you expect someone else to lower theirs' for you? Or the other extreme, why would you lower your standards or expectations? This is assuming everyone has the true reality of themselves which we know is a general fallacy. I would say yes, I would love to meet someone like me.



Dillogic
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14 Mar 2022, 9:51 am

I hate myself, so...no. :| That negative voice I have makes me hate myself due to all of that self-blame over almost everything I do. I have some useful traits, but they aren't anything anyone else can't have.

Others that actually know me would say better things about me and are likely more objective, but maybe they're just seeing that person that compulsively wants to help, which I dislike because it looks like he's trying to win points/look good, even though that's not why he does it.



Fnord
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14 Mar 2022, 9:56 am

A female version of myself?

I would not even date her, even out of pity.

The poor thing would be as bug-ugly as I, and would likely remain single her entire life.



kraftiekortie
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14 Mar 2022, 10:13 am

I'm not such a bad guy. I'm not good "around the house," though.

I wouldn't care, though. I wouldn't mind a female version of myself :)

I would mostly leave her alone----and she would mostly leave me alone. Except when we're watching our favorite TV show.



nick007
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14 Mar 2022, 10:18 am

auntblabby wrote:
magz wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
wish i had that "problem." how could that be a problem? :huh:

Trust me, it can :P

the professionals never seem to have any troubles taking such to the max.
I think I would rather have the problem of being too big instead of being so small me & my girlfriend cant really have actual sex since we're both overweight :oops: Luckily sex is not important for either of us. I seriously need to lose some weight & start exercising.


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nick007
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14 Mar 2022, 11:39 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
Definitely, yes. I have always sought people who were as much like me as possible, in as many ways as possible, to maximize mutual understanding and empathy.

I have always felt like a freak. Early on, I realized that the most important key to a good friendship or romantic relationship was to seek out my fellow freaks -- the more like myself, the better.

To that end I got involved in a variety of oddball subcultures.

I never found anyone exactly like myself. My current partner is certainly not exactly like me, but we do have enough in common to have good companionship, comradeship, and emotional intimacy. So I definitely feel that I was on the right track by looking for commonalities above all else.
I know what you mean. I don't need a partner who's exactly like me & my current girlfriend is very different than me in various ways, we have some different interest & hobbies & she is very close to her family whereas I've always been an outsider with mine, but she relates very well to being an outsider in the world & we both relate to being majorly disabled.


txfz1 wrote:
Interesting question, how could you say no? If you can't meet your own standards, why would you expect someone else to lower theirs' for you? Or the other extreme, why would you lower your standards or expectations? This is assuming everyone has the true reality of themselves which we know is a general fallacy. I would say yes, I would love to meet someone like me.
I think a major factor here is if the ways you are opposite compliment each other & compensate for each other's weaknesses or if the ways you are opposite clash with each other & cause major fights. For example if an Aspie likes being left alone doing his own thing a lot but his girlfriend/wife wants to spend lots of time with her partner & loves going to social events with her partner, the couple might have a very rocky relationship. However if the Aspie is really good with technology stuff & has a job in the IT industry making fairly good money but he majorly sux at taking care of things around the house & his girlfriend/wife likes managing the housework & rathers do that than have a job where she's employed & gets a paycheck, the arrangement might work quite well for the couple.

Me & my 2nd girlfriend were very different in some ways. I'm needy, clingy, & dependent within romantic relationships whereas she liked having a bit of space & really wanted to be independent with life & we had lots of fights related to that incompatibility. I felt pushed away a lot & like my input & ideas were not appreciated. My current girlfriend is a lot more like me with being needy, clingy, & dependent. She also has some other traits & characteristics that caused me major problems in my two previous relationships & when I was single like being depressed & unstable. Those issues are aLOT better for me due to working on myself in various ways, getting on a good psych med combo, & having a serious long term relationship partner who makes me feel appreciated. I sought out women who had those issues because I felt we might could both relate to them even if I was no longer experiencing them as severely as I used to. I also think being supportive or at least trying to be is one of my biggest relationship strengths even thou I don't go about it the typical NT way. I know what it's like for others to quickly judge me & think I'm too f#cked up to be a decent relationship partner or to be a good friend & I know that having someone there for you who really cares & tries can be a huge help. Her traits can be very frustrating to deal with sometimes but I'd much rather deal with them than be single & I'm a better person & much more functional having a partner who makes me feel needed & appreciated. Having a partner who's very opposite of me like independent, outgoing, & social would get very tiring very fast & we would not be able to relate at all.


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Summer_Twilight
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14 Mar 2022, 11:49 am

I would marry me but because I am someone who understands myself while myself and I would be willing to grow together.



auntblabby
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14 Mar 2022, 1:45 pm

nick007 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
magz wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
wish i had that "problem." how could that be a problem? :huh:

Trust me, it can :P

the professionals never seem to have any troubles taking such to the max.
I think I would rather have the problem of being too big instead of being so small me & my girlfriend cant really have actual sex since we're both overweight :oops: Luckily sex is not important for either of us. I seriously need to lose some weight & start exercising.

if you cut out refined carbs you are already halfway there.



kraftiekortie
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14 Mar 2022, 2:51 pm

If the woman is on top, it's easier for "hefty" people to have sex.

I had many successful love-ins with a 300+ pound woman.



cyberdad
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14 Mar 2022, 3:09 pm

Well I would find a female version of myself hilarious. Heck! I would marry myself.



auntblabby
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14 Mar 2022, 3:12 pm

who better to marry than one who knows one inside and out.