Is it normal or common for late bloomers to feel this way?

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I know that people will always say: "What exactly do you gain or accomplish by being angry about what didn't happen in the past?"

While yes, they are absolutely correct, but at the same time, i strongly believe its part of human nature to wish we got to experience certain things or events, milestones in our life, before we actually did.

People that were late bloomers in dating/relationships, does it ever depress you that you didn't date or have relationships earlier in life?

For example, i sometimes feel bitter and have feelings of resentment whenever i see teen couples and early 20's couples, couples in their 20s, etc. I feel it will always hurt that i didn't have a high school romance or girlfriend in my early 20s, etc. It depresses me a lot, like i say to myself, why couldn't i have a normal or typical dating life/sex life growing up like most people do it seems?

Sure, but I know I am the problem. Aside from all of the adults in my life that failed to get help for me when I was a young I don't blame anyone else besides myself for my problems.

I won't describe it as resentment. Bitterness? Sure.

I just avoid environments where I feel that way, otherwise it's torture. It did drive me into isolation, one of the things that did anyway.

I didn't have my first serious relationship until I was 27. Yes, I wish I started sooner, but I knew full well I wasn't ready to put the time and energy into having a girlfriend. Plus I was self-aware enough to know that rejection would devastate me, so I wanted to avoid that at all costs.

Sometimes, but well I did have one boyfriend when I was in HS, and well I felt I wasn't ready for that kind of a commitment to another person. I guess in retrospect I was taking a HS relationship or thinking of what it could be too far. Like it could have been fine as a HS fling, but Idk seemed the guy got really into me and I just wasn't ready for that yet. I still feel bad things did not work out long term between us..seemed he had a hard time making friends and probably had depression issues to so I am sure my breaking up with him was hurtful...regardless of how nicely I might have done it. But even so at the time I just couldn't deal with having a boyfriend on top of everything else or that is what I felt like at least. So IDK I do feel bad....and well now I have a new LTR so I don't think much on it, but I still just feel bad for not really getting into that boyfriend at highschool it's just even though we both didn't get on great with the populars and had some stuff in common there was some things we did not have in common that kinda put us apart.

But IDK it was still kinda late I guess, like didn't even really think about having a boyfriend till I was 15, seems some other girls already had their boyfriends in middle school.

I have kind of the opposite sentiment. I feel like "youth hormones", so to speak, are a kind of disease that I'm happy to be gradually recovering from. I don't think there was ever a chance I could have a healthy relationship. I really don't think there was ever any chance I could have had an even remotely healthy relationship in my years between age 15 and 25.

My life during that time (mentally speaking, especially) didn't go smoothly by any means, but it would have been worse if I had been in any relationship. And I think that's actually why it never happened back then. Because I just couldn't see any way it could possibly work out at all. It was always something exclusively in the realm of fantasy. The one relationship I eventually did have, ultimately proved itself to also be something from the realm of fantasy. It's one of those "things I don't regret but wouldn't want to do again". Having been through it makes me much more confident at the "not wanting" part though, and that's something I'm glad for.

My last relationship was when I was 17-18, I’ve been single for about 7 or 8 years. I did have those feelings in the past, like “oh s**t I’m turning 25 soon and I’m still single”. But I’ve really learned to not worry about so much and focus on myself. I know some people can’t and what you’re talking about is very normal for a lot of people. For me, I’ve learned self love is the most important (I know, it’s easier said than done). I have pretty much come to terms with the possibility that I might be single forever, but I always tell myself “at least you got to experience a relationship in your life” and I think that’s what counts. There is much more to life than a relationship, believe me.

I did regret not having relationships when I was younger (teens and 20's).

I got started in my 30's and my first few relationships were disasters.

I felt like if I had had some experience and practice when I was younger, I might have avoided the very unhealthy relationships that I entered into in my 30's (that most people by that age should have been able to recognize and avoid )

Unfortunately life rarely goes the way we expect (in many regards). The best we can do is roll with it and try to navigate.... I really believe this is true for everyone (male, female, NT, ASD, etc... )

I considered myself a late bloomer because I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 23 so I went through school, college and university - when everyone else was dating - without so much as a kiss from a girl.

So that girlfriend I had when I was 23, well, she's still my girlfriend now 18 years later. She's the mother of my child and I consider us very lucky to have found each other - not many people would be able to put up with me for that long. I love her and although we've had rocky times, like all long-term relationships, I'm still very happy.

But I do regret not having relationships when I was younger. I was dealing with a lot of crap back then - my hair started falling out at 16, I was chubby and I had a chronic blushing issue and I was weird on top of it all (I hadn't considered I may have Aspergers back then). Oh yeah and there was some light sexual abuse thrown in there just to liven things up a little. These things crushed my self-esteem and made me very introverted. Frankly it was probably a good thing I didn't have relationships - I'd probably have damaged the girls involved.

I think my regret stems from the fact that at the time, I didn't consider myself attractive and I never picked up on any signals that girls were interested in me. But I have at later times found out that actually there were girls who liked me 'that way' and in hind sight I've been able to see times where they've made this attraction clear, but at the time I didn't see it at all. So I see these as missed opportunities to get to know these women better, to forge deeper relationships with them than I was capable of at the time. I feel the loss of that, in a strange way, because my life lacks deep relationships in general.

I do also feel that if I'd had more experience I could have saved my girlfriend some pain. This is true, but it's also wishing that pain on other women and they wouldn't have deserved it either!

Yes, I feel like that a lot. I feel like the rejection and aloneness I experienced during that time might have permanently damaged me psychologically. I wish there was a way to get over these feelings. It seems that most people just tell you to "let go of them" or something like that, like it is a simple conscious choice that you make. It doesn't seem to be that easy.

The OP's feeling is normal -- at age 63, I still feel that way about my high-school classmates.

However, it provides no benefit to me except for motivating the decision to not attend any high-school reunions.

I had little interest in having romantic relationships until I stumbled into my 1st one when I was 20. I am not bothered that I never had a relationship during high-school or middle-school cuz I know I could not of handled that. I was so stressed out from school & parents on my back that I needed most all my free time to wind down & destress in my room watching TV or playing video-games while listening to music. A romantic relationship would not of fit into my life then. I also really needed to relate & connect with someone before I ever desired any romantic relationship in my life. My 1st gf was the 1st person I ever really related to, connected with, & felt close to. I ended up having a mental breakdown around the time I started that relationship due to BAD anxiety & BAD OCD worrying about her & our relationship. I got thoughts in my head that bad things were going on & the thoughts would not leave. I became very controlling as a result & I also became confused as to what was real & what was made up in my own d@mn head. Psychotic depression is a real b!tch. I started seeing a psychiatrist after that relationship ended & I tried working on myself in various ways since then. I was single for the next 8 years & I HATED that but my best efforts to get in a romantic relationship had no luck except maybe bad for that 8 year stretch.

This is (sort of) good to know. I thinks it's very odd the frequency with which my thoughts go back to those people who have now been out of my life for much longer than they were a part of it.

I don't think my school ever had a 'proper' reunion. There was one which was arranged by a classmate (who I don't even remember) and only a few people went, all from a clique I had little to nothing to do with, so I avoided that. But yeah, I'm both attracted and repelled by the idea of actually seeing those people again. On balance, I don't think I would go.

I'm aware I'm only 23, but I do feel that for my high school days up to nowadays. I used to feel it pretty strongly actually. But in truth I just was not mentally ready for a relationship, and it probably was for the best that I didn't drag anyone into my mess. I've grown as a person since then. And ultimately, since you had no experience with high school romance, you're really only mourning the idealized image of "young love". Not the messy reality.

In the First/Second world only.

In the Third world people too busy to fulfill the most basic human needs so no time to pursue happiness or... to regret on wasted happy-less years.

I'm relating to a lot here. I'm so glad I'm over the youth hormones. I feel free. I'm finally free.

I still feel sad seeing happy young couples. They're so full of hope. They're not jaded like me and my friends. Even single young people have hope. I don't want to be around any of them.

I don't believe that my hormones were a factor as to why I hated being single. I'm sorta on the asexuality spectrum. Before I got in my 2nd relationship I started taking a med to reduce my sex drive which worked by affecting my hormones some & I still hated being single just as much(I'm on a different med for that now). I HATED being single due to sever loneliness & not being close to anybody offline. I was not bothered by seeing happy couples & I was not bitter towards relationships overall. I was mad at myself for screwing up my 1st relationship & being such a giant loser that I could not obtain another relationship. I was also mad at society because I know I coulda been more successful in life which woulda helped me a lot with having romantic relationships if I woulda had the rite support available like I coulda had better & long-term employment & been more independent in various ways with the rite help. I was very frustrated with the whole dating culture that I was never part of because I felt like I never measured up to anybody & no woman would ever give me a real chance to prove myself. I was frustrated that the advice & support I was getting for my chronic singleness & life stuff in general was things that I could not apply or the tired clueshay stuff that everyone says that is only supposed to help you feel better while doing nothing to actually address the real causes & issues. People did NOT like my negative attitude & some thought some crazy sh!t about me like incel stuff & some actually even accused me of being a potential wife beater & rapist I'm a male feminist who's on the asexualy spectrum, could not fight at all when getting physically bullied in school & I support the Violence Against Women Act so how the f#ck could I actually be a potential wife beater & rapist I was not upset by happy couples because I had too much other stuff to be mad at.