Foreign wives more common for those with AS?

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North
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11 Jan 2009, 1:58 pm

I haven't posted here in years (literally) but I stumbled across this article the other day:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/blog/ ... nius-dirac

The article itself is interesting, but I found this paragraph to be particularly intriguing:
"When Farmelo spoke to Baron-Cohen about the condition he said he was struck by two things. First, that autistic men often have foreign wives, "perhaps because the women were more tolerant of unusual behaviour in foreign men than in men from their own culture." Dirac was married to a Hungarian woman for 50 years."

I consider myself reasonably well informed about AS but I have never heard of this before. I tried some different search queries relating to this topic on Google and the only relevant thing that came up was stuff referencing this article.

I have a little interesting experience of my own to share. I am an American who currently lives in an Arab Muslim country. I have found it less difficult to interact with women here (compared with the US) for a few reasons. First, English is not the first language here for many people, so they tend to have a higher tolerance for things being misinterpreted or social awkwardness. Second, because of the local culture, many Arab men don't really seem to know how to talk to women and so I don't really stand out as being strange. And third, it's easy for me to have a substantial conversation (rather than just small talk) with someone who is just an acquaintance as most people here are very eager to tell foreigners about their culture, language, religion, customs, etc.

I'm curious to know if anyone else here has made any observations, particularly those of you who are married.



11 Jan 2009, 2:11 pm

I don't really count but my boyfriend was born in Germany but he is a US citizen.



thedaywalker
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11 Jan 2009, 2:12 pm

i have a rusian girlfriend if that count's for anything but i'm not realy socialy impared i think it's just a coincidence



pakled
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11 Jan 2009, 2:39 pm

My first wife was born in Frankfurt am Main(sp?), but on a US Army base. But she was as American as you could get...;)

I don't know if it works in places like the US; you rarely see anyone who isn't a native and speaks English (exceptin' some Hispanic folks, of course). Most of those don't seem to give me the time of day...;)

I'm impressed that you can talk with Muslim women; I'd be petrified of offending someone and having all her family coming lookin' for blood. Guess you have to be there to know.



Vulcan
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11 Jan 2009, 2:55 pm

nearly all of my girlfriends have been from other cultures then my own (Norwegian), i diddnt think much about it until the moment i found this tread, i think i date such girls because they, like me dont really fit in around here and so we both are a bit awkward...

ive dated a Turk, Iraqi, Vietnamese, Indian and so on...

but since i became aware of AS i have been thinking that maybe its best of i try to find a AS girlfriend, because we then have allot in common and its just allot easier...



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11 Jan 2009, 3:04 pm

Thanks for the article. I have held the same beliefs for a while but haven't found anything to corroborate it.

I also noticed that men with AS seem to prefer women of different races than their own and seem to prefer the interracial marriage.
Maybe it has to do with a self loathing?

Or, it could be that they see it as kinky and they like that. There is some evidence that AS men aren't conventional when it comes to sex and romance. If they see interracial marriages as unconventional this may in itself seem more appealing to them.

Or, it could be that foreign women or (dumb/dull) women who don't understand what they are saying half the time aren't aware of their AS symptoms and so don't make one another feel uncomfortable. I also think AS men prefer dumb chicks who are not very aware of what is going on and don't hold any original opinions that could be seen as an intellectual threat. It must make him feel more powerful to have a stupid girlfriend.



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11 Jan 2009, 3:08 pm

I blame most American women. Just try talking to the so-called "normals." 'nuff said.

EDIT: BTW, it is nice seeing a suspected autistic speaking out about the evils of prenatal testing. People should think twice before they kill off the people who shared their knowledge to create computers, phones, and the internet (the same devices the NT's use to try and throw slander at us with).



Last edited by ForsakenEagle on 11 Jan 2009, 3:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

sinsboldly
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11 Jan 2009, 3:13 pm

ForsakenEagle wrote:
I blame most American women. Just try talking to the so-called "normals." 'nuff said.


but you are forgetting there are American women that are Asperger's Syndrome, too. We also have problems with 'normal' American men.



11 Jan 2009, 3:21 pm

pakled wrote:
My first wife was born in Frankfurt am Main(sp?), but on a US Army base. But she was as American as you could get...;)



My bf is in the same position as your wife. His father served in the army and his wife was with him when she had to go through early labor due to the cord ripping out of her uterus.



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11 Jan 2009, 3:25 pm

sinsboldly wrote:
ForsakenEagle wrote:
I blame most American women. Just try talking to the so-called "normals." 'nuff said.


but you are forgetting there are American women that are Asperger's Syndrome, too. We also have problems with 'normal' American men.


Sorry if you have misinterpreted that message of mine. I am talking about most "women" that I have met in my life (typical "oh-my-gosh" NT girls). Yes, I do have some bad experiences with associating with your typical NT American "man."



sinsboldly
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11 Jan 2009, 3:49 pm

ForsakenEagle wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
ForsakenEagle wrote:
I blame most American women. Just try talking to the so-called "normals." 'nuff said.


but you are forgetting there are American women that are Asperger's Syndrome, too. We also have problems with 'normal' American men.


Sorry if you have misinterpreted that message of mine. I am talking about most "women" that I have met in my life (typical "oh-my-gosh" NT girls). Yes, I do have some bad experiences with associating with your typical NT American "man."


hey, sorry, you're right, I didn't get what you were saying the first time around. I have met plenty of those 'oh my gosh' NT girls and guys, too!

Merle



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11 Jan 2009, 4:01 pm

My wife is Asian, and I am an American of European descent. I could not be happier.

Previous relationships (all with Euro-American women) failed because of my literal take on things and my seemingly "robot-like" affect and reactions to their ever-increasingly emotional behavior. Maybe they believed that a man does not love a woman unless he breaks into a tear-filled musical dance number? No idea ...


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Magnus
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11 Jan 2009, 4:40 pm

Maybe they just weren't able to break through to you.

Can we just annihilate those OH MY GOSH girls! (without resorting to violence of course) Cock blockers :roll:



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11 Jan 2009, 4:44 pm

Magnus wrote:
Thanks for the article. I have held the same beliefs for a while but haven't found anything to corroborate it.

I also noticed that men with AS seem to prefer women of different races than their own and seem to prefer the interracial marriage.
Maybe it has to do with a self loathing?

Or, it could be that they see it as kinky and they like that. There is some evidence that AS men aren't conventional when it comes to sex and romance. If they see interracial marriages as unconventional this may in itself seem more appealing to them.

Or, it could be that foreign women or (dumb/dull) women who don't understand what they are saying half the time aren't aware of their AS symptoms and so don't make one another feel uncomfortable. I also think AS men prefer dumb chicks who are not very aware of what is going on and don't hold any original opinions that could be seen as an intellectual threat. It must make him feel more powerful to have a stupid girlfriend.


The oppesite for me, i would rather have a girlfriend who is smart and knows whats going on. I mean, maybe people who are power hungry would be ok with a stupid girlfriend who dosnt have a spine, but i do prefer girls who stand up to their own believes and dont waver at pressure



NotRealBrianWilson
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11 Jan 2009, 4:49 pm

Magnus wrote:
I also noticed that men with AS seem to prefer women of different races than their own and seem to prefer the interracial marriage.

Maybe it has to do with a self loathing?


So Magnus, marring someone of a differant race than yourself somehow means you have self loathing issues? Please explain that one, I'm dieing to hear your reasoning.

Magnus wrote:
Or, it could be that they see it as kinky and they like that. There is some evidence that AS men aren't conventional when it comes to sex and romance. If they see interracial marriages as unconventional this may in itself seem more appealing to them.


Dating someone of a differant race is kinky and unconventional! 8O Do you live in the 1950's? I really hope you don't believe that because you just sound very dumb.

Magnus wrote:
Or, it could be that foreign women or (dumb/dull) women who don't understand what they are saying half the time aren't aware of their AS symptoms and so don't make one another feel uncomfortable. I also think AS men prefer dumb chicks who are not very aware of what is going on and don't hold any original opinions that could be seen as an intellectual threat. It must make him feel more powerful to have a stupid girlfriend.


Reading that I just believe you've came here simply to be offensive. I think you you'll find that due to their often lower than average sexdrive AS males (myself included) are not interested in (as you say) dumb/dull women. It takes me many weeks of dating before I even want to hold hands with (nevermind hug or kiss) a girl I like, so do you think I would want the hassle of dating someone I find dull/dumb? Hell no, that would be boring and dishonest.


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ForsakenEagle
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11 Jan 2009, 4:56 pm

Tias wrote:
The oppesite for me, i would rather have a girlfriend who is smart and knows whats going on. I mean, maybe people who are power hungry would be ok with a stupid girlfriend who dosnt have a spine, but i do prefer girls who stand up to their own believes and dont waver at pressure


I agree with you Tias. It would be nice to have a girl who can reason my own judgments (which can be poor often). I would not want a girl like that one chick from the movie Crank.

In a perfect world, stupid people are NOT allowed to breed. Unfortunately, we live in an imperfect world. On top of that, a world that wants to ANNIHILATE a type of people who are known to become geniuses in some cases.