partners not believing in you

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amazon_television
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01 May 2022, 12:30 am

I'm married, it all works, but it's hard to hear point blank that a partner wouldn't go into business with you because I guess I couldn't handle it?

It's not a huge deal but that concept makes me nervous bc I actually do plan on starting a business and working independently in a year or so, is there something I'm missing that suggests I couldn't make that happen?

I mean she might be right! It's not the end of the world, it's just tough to swallow and I don't fully get it.


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nick007
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01 May 2022, 2:27 am

amazon_television wrote:
I'm married, it all works, but it's hard to hear point blank that a partner wouldn't go into business with you because I guess I couldn't handle it?

It's not a huge deal but that concept makes me nervous bc I actually do plan on starting a business and working independently in a year or so, is there something I'm missing that suggests I couldn't make that happen?

I mean she might be right! It's not the end of the world, it's just tough to swallow and I don't fully get it.
Did she explain why she did not think you could handle it :?: I'm not sure what kinda business your wanting to start but that might be a factor. Some businesses require lots of networking & connections to get off the ground or require lots of money to start which are things those of us on the spectrum are likely to have problems with. Starting a business can sometimes require lots of energy, time, & focus & it's good to dwell & analyze things & try to be realistic before deciding to make such a big investment. It's not good for you guys to lose your house & all your savings nor would it be good for you to have to spend all your time focusing on the business.


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blazingstar
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01 May 2022, 4:48 am

Does she not want you to go into business, or she doesn’t want to go into business with you?

Some couples make a go of working together in a business. For some it is a disaster.

Business is tougher than it looks. I have a tiny micro-business. It’s a lot of work. You have to be someone who takes initiative, problem solves, and keep doing it every day because the owner always has to work. Most small businesses fail.

Concern about the risks of starting a business are legit. Have you a business plan? Financing? Have you studied the market?


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nick007
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01 May 2022, 12:38 pm

blazingstar wrote:
Does she not want you to go into business, or she doesn’t want to go into business with you?
That is a good question. Some people do not want to work together with their romantic partners weather it's running their own business or they're working in neighboring departments in a low level position at a big company. They can bring work issues home which negatively affects their relationship or they can bring their relationship problems to work which negatively affects their work. Some people are not cut out for running a business or certain types of businesses &/or have little desire to, so without knowing more details I'll throw out the possibility that the wife may not want to be involved with that kinda business regardless of who her partner was. More information about what she means & why she feels that way could be very useful here.


This is slightly off topic but is kinda related to the subject. Me & my girlfriend both have various issues & problems but I tend to be more level-headed about making decisions whereas Cass is more impulsive. She spent a lot of money buying things for hobbies or projects that she lost interest in 1ce she had a lot of the materials before she really got started. Cass's mom was the same way. Her mom spent a lot of money to try & take classes but she didn't put in the effort 1ce the money was spent. Cass's dad was being taken advantage of by his employer & he had to work very LONG hours earning minimum-wage to provide for his wife & 4 kids. Cass's mom spending lots of money to not follow through caused the family to struggle even more & it contributed to him spending all his time at work till he was too disabled to work anymore. I want to be supportive of Cass because I majorly love, care, & worry about her but sometimes she is not very realistic about her issues & limitations & it majorly stresses her out. She has a very hard time handling stress. The stress creates a mental block that prevents her from really getting started & she woulda been a lot happier if she never woulda attempted certain things or only made slow gradual steps instead of jumping in head 1st & expecting me to support her & sometimes bail her out. Some things really would go a lot better for her if she had a more realistic view & acceptance of her issues. I think that the best way to be supportive sometimes is to tell someone that what they're attempting to do may not a good idea for them. She doesn't want to hear that & she usually doesn't really listen to what I'm trying to say & if I push she gets mad at me & won't listen anyways. I'm the opposite of her with that. I tend to be a passive person & kinda drift through life & probably have Learned Helplessness from my various problems as a kid. Trying certain things as a kid majorly inconvenienced my parents & they made me feel guilty for giving up sometimes. I do NOT want to make Cass feel that way but I really do believe some things would be smother for both of us sometimes if I had more input & confederation when she makes decisions. She wants me to help her with her budgeting this month & wants to over things with me today or tomorrow so that's a very positive sign even if it may appear to some in her family like I'm being controlling.


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