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Do we have more luck getting one night stands?

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Where_am_I
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07 May 2022, 12:30 pm

Jamesy, I think therapy with a good therapist might be a step forward for you. You need to explore your goals and the barriers stopping you from reaching them.

Getting a job or doing a course, as suggested by others, is good advice; perhaps you're struggling with the steps involved (assuming you want a job/gain new skills and are able to work) because of barriers such as lack of motivation, confidence, or even health that may make it difficult to work at all.


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Jamesy
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07 May 2022, 4:11 pm

Where_am_I wrote:
Jamesy, I think therapy with a good therapist might be a step forward for you. You need to explore your goals and the barriers stopping you from reaching them.

Getting a job or doing a course, as suggested by others, is good advice; perhaps you're struggling with the steps involved (assuming you want a job/gain new skills and are able to work) because of barriers such as lack of motivation, confidence, or even health that may make it difficult to work at all.




Mental health problems might it hard for me to work.



kraftiekortie
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07 May 2022, 4:44 pm

Would you like an office job?



Hollywood_Guy
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07 May 2022, 5:57 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
Hooking up and one night stands are mostly based on physical attraction, so it would make sense that attractive people have an easier time hooking up compared to less attractive people.

It also depends on your gender. For autistic women, unless they're very unattractive and/or very overweight, getting hookups and ONS's will be very easy. I know an autistic woman who was average at best, maybe even a little below average in the face, but had absolutely no problems with meeting guys at bars. But then again, she was a wild and sexually adventurous sorority girl.

For men on the other hand, a lot of how easy hooking up will be is based on your looks. If you have a decent body, decent face, not overweight, not too short (under 5 ft 7), and decent social skills, you can generally be successful in that type of avenue. Traditionally unattractive men will struggle.


No wonder a lot of men transition to womanhood. I think I read that MTF transgender is more common than FTM transgender.



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07 May 2022, 5:59 pm

Fnord wrote:
rse92 wrote:
You need to GET A JOB. . .
THIS ↑

A man who is merely "good-looking" cannot compete with men who also have jobs, income, and places of their own.

And they cannot compete with men who also have their own means of motorized transportation.

Get with it, dude!


Also, I saw your age says 65. Are you aware that sometimes advice that might have been valid in your time is not as much with younger people today?



Jamesy
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07 May 2022, 8:00 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Would you like an office job?



No my last job was in an office sitting at a desk all day.

It caused me mental health problems



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07 May 2022, 8:22 pm

Fnord wrote:
A man who is merely "good-looking" cannot compete with men who also have jobs, income, and places of their own.

And they cannot compete with men who also have their own means of motorized transportation.

Get with it, dude!


Yes. And make sure to wear bell-bottoms and a lace cravat, that'll make the ladies swoon.

I hardly ever post on this forum, but if I were to regularly - I would have some eternal advice: ignore everyone over the age of 40 on these topics, especially on this forum. They have no idea what is going on any more or how much things have changed. Their advice is not just wrong - it is actively harmful, follow it at your peril.


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Where_am_I
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08 May 2022, 5:56 am

Jamesy wrote:
Where_am_I wrote:
Jamesy, I think therapy with a good therapist might be a step forward for you. You need to explore your goals and the barriers stopping you from reaching them.

Getting a job or doing a course, as suggested by others, is good advice; perhaps you're struggling with the steps involved (assuming you want a job/gain new skills and are able to work) because of barriers such as lack of motivation, confidence, or even health that may make it difficult to work at all.




Mental health problems might it hard for me to work.


That's understandable. Ignore the advice about getting a job, especially if work would cause further decline.


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kraftiekortie
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08 May 2022, 6:04 am

The same things are happening between boys and girls as what happened during the old days.

Men have to respect woman’s boundaries more, certainly—but that’s only common sense. Why should a man be an as*hole and act like an idiot towards a woman?



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08 May 2022, 7:24 am

Hollywood_Guy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
rse92 wrote:
You need to GET A JOB. . .
THIS ↑

A man who is merely "good-looking" cannot compete with men who also have jobs, income, and places of their own.

And they cannot compete with men who also have their own means of motorized transportation.

Get with it, dude!
Also, I saw your age says 65. Are you aware that sometimes advice that might have been valid in your time is not as much with younger people today?
Those who cannot refute the message often attack the messenger. Ageism sucks.



Fnord
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08 May 2022, 7:31 am

Where_am_I wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Mental health problems might it hard for me to work.
That's understandable. Ignore the advice about getting a job, especially if work would cause further decline.
If he had said he was non compos mentis from the start, I would not have bothered posting in this thread.

Unless the issue is psychopathy or sociopathy, people IRL tend to pick up on mental health problems right away. No advice can help a person in that state.

Good luck, Jamesy.



Jamesy
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08 May 2022, 8:06 am

Fnord wrote:
Where_am_I wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Mental health problems might it hard for me to work.
That's understandable. Ignore the advice about getting a job, especially if work would cause further decline.
If he had said he was non compos mentis from the start, I would not have bothered posting in this thread.

Unless the issue is psychopathy or sociopathy, people IRL tend to pick up on mental health problems right away. No advice can help a person in that state.

Good luck, Jamesy.




What do you mean no advice can help a person in that state?



kraftiekortie
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08 May 2022, 8:08 am

In a way, I think he wants a job. He certainly wants a romance.

He knows getting a job would make it easier to obtain what he desires—but he feels sort of stymied by whatever is preventing him from getting a job. I wish he had more support if he takes the plunge and tries working.

For sure, though, the pub is an agent which puts him further down the rabbit hole. The patrons there don’t have his best interests at heart. They have their own problems, and they might use James as sort of a punching bag.

He should find some other sort of socialization venue.



Jamesy
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08 May 2022, 8:27 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
In a way, I think he wants a job. He certainly wants a romance.

He knows getting a job would make it easier to obtain what he desires—but he feels sort of stymied by whatever is preventing him from getting a job. I wish he had more support if he takes the plunge and tries working.

For sure, though, the pub is an agent which puts him further down the rabbit hole. The patrons there don’t have his best interests at heart. They have their own problems, and they might use James as sort of a punching bag.

He should find some other sort of socialization venue.



Use me as a punching bag you say? Not entirely sure what that means.



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08 May 2022, 9:16 am

They say those mean comments about your appearance, which is 'using you as a verbal punching bag'



Jamesy
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08 May 2022, 9:25 am

klanka wrote:
They say those mean comments about your appearance, which is 'using you as a verbal punching bag'



I wonder why they would want to do it to me though? I am always polite to them.