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ChrisInAustralia
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11 May 2022, 7:08 pm

I guess the one dating experience I have that seems worth sharing is that my wife pressured me into an open relationship for 6 months. I HATED it and I gladly closed things again at the start of the year. The point is I went into it assuming that as an Aspie I was weird and no woman would want me. I felt lost at the time but afterwards when I tell single friends of my experience (spoke to about 18 women, mostly positive interactions, met about 8, got on well with all of them, got into basically a relationship with one, which is why the others stayed just friends), they tell me I did pretty well.

So for me it was hugely positive to realise i do have something to offer in this world and that I don't have to assume that if my wife leaves me I will die alone. I wonder how many other autists feel like they aren't viable when the truth is, as a guy, going out there and showing women the most basic kindness and respect is enough to put you ahead of the game.....



kraftiekortie
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11 May 2022, 7:35 pm

I have found the above to be true.



ChrisInAustralia
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11 May 2022, 7:37 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I have found the above to be true.


There's no way to like posts here? Yes, I was astonished and it's really changed things for me. I still want my wife above every other woman on earth but I'm not scared and I don't feel worthless.



aspiemike
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11 May 2022, 9:13 pm

Sounds like you are being prepared in the event that you lose your wife. The confidence you have will help for sure. Might even surprise your wife.


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Your Aspie score: 130 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 88 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


ChrisInAustralia
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11 May 2022, 9:22 pm

aspiemike wrote:
Sounds like you are being prepared in the event that you lose your wife. The confidence you have will help for sure. Might even surprise your wife.


Yeah, basically I was preparing for her to leave and then she didn't. I don't now think she will, but I feel a lot more confident.

Where does one get an aspie score?



aspiemike
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11 May 2022, 9:35 pm

I am not as active as others here. The Aspie score thing was something from 10 or so years ago and I wouldn't know where to go now.


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Your Aspie score: 130 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 88 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


ChrisInAustralia
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11 May 2022, 9:39 pm

aspiemike wrote:
I am not as active as others here. The Aspie score thing was something from 10 or so years ago and I wouldn't know where to go now.


Fair enough, I thought it might be on this site.... Thanks



IsabellaLinton
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11 May 2022, 9:39 pm

Hi and welcome to WP.

If you're looking for self-administered questionnaires for autism, these might help.
They don't replace a formal assessment but they can give you an idea about some aspects of autism.


https://www.aspietests.org/raads/

https://psychology-tools.com/test/autis ... m-quotient


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ChrisInAustralia
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11 May 2022, 9:55 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Hi and welcome to WP.

If you're looking for self-administered questionnaires for autism, these might help.
They don't replace a formal assessment but they can give you an idea about some aspects of autism.


https://www.aspietests.org/raads/

https://psychology-tools.com/test/autis ... m-quotient


Thanks. First one is a PHP site (so probably old) and is broken for me.

Second one, I answered as me today and got 38 out of 50 :) I am sure answering as me at 15 would score higher



IsabellaLinton
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11 May 2022, 10:00 pm

ChrisInAustralia wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Hi and welcome to WP.

If you're looking for self-administered questionnaires for autism, these might help.
They don't replace a formal assessment but they can give you an idea about some aspects of autism.


https://www.aspietests.org/raads/

https://psychology-tools.com/test/autis ... m-quotient


Thanks. First one is a PHP site (so probably old) and is broken for me.

Second one, I answered as me today and got 38 out of 50 :) I am sure answering as me at 15 would score higher


That's strange ^ . It should definitely still work.

The RAAD-S is still used as part of assessments, so it's not outdated.

Try googling "The Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale", or maybe this link is better:

https://xpasd.github.io/ASD/

I think there are some abbreviated RAAD-S tests online but you want the one with 80 questions.

It should give you a spiderweb chart of your score at the end.

For example, this was my chart when I did the test a few years ago:

Image


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ChrisInAustralia
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11 May 2022, 10:21 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
ChrisInAustralia wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Hi and welcome to WP.

If you're looking for self-administered questionnaires for autism, these might help.
They don't replace a formal assessment but they can give you an idea about some aspects of autism.


https://www.aspietests.org/raads/

https://psychology-tools.com/test/autis ... m-quotient


Thanks. First one is a PHP site (so probably old) and is broken for me.

Second one, I answered as me today and got 38 out of 50 :) I am sure answering as me at 15 would score higher


That's strange ^ . It should definitely still work.

The RAAD-S is still used as part of assessments, so it's not outdated.

Try googling "The Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale", or maybe this link is better:

https://xpasd.github.io/ASD/

I think there are some abbreviated RAAD-S tests online but you want the one with 80 questions.

It should give you a spiderweb chart of your score at the end.

For example, this was my chart when I did the test a few years ago:

Image


Answered 80 out of 80
RAADS-R Results Total Score Social Relatedness Circumscribed Interests Language Sensory Motor
Current test results 131 64 32 12 23
ASD Threshold 65 31 15 4 16
ASD Statistical Mean 131 65 29 27 10

Did I do the wrong one?



IsabellaLinton
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11 May 2022, 10:25 pm

There is another test that gives a yellow rectangular chart when you're finished.
I can never remember what it's called.
Was yours yellow?

It sounds like you did the right one but I'm confused about your score.

Did the test look like this?

Image


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And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.


ChrisInAustralia
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11 May 2022, 10:42 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
There is another test that gives a yellow rectangular chart when you're finished.
I can never remember what it's called.
Was yours yellow?

It sounds like you did the right one but I'm confused about your score.

Did the test look like this?

Image


It had 80 questions, the other one had 50. It was good, it also asked 'was like this when I was 16, am like this now'



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12 May 2022, 1:33 pm

ChrisInAustralia wrote:
I guess the one dating experience I have that seems worth sharing is that my wife pressured me into an open relationship for 6 months. I HATED it and I gladly closed things again at the start of the year. The point is I went into it assuming that as an Aspie I was weird and no woman would want me. I felt lost at the time but afterwards when I tell single friends of my experience (spoke to about 18 women, mostly positive interactions, met about 8, got on well with all of them, got into basically a relationship with one, which is why the others stayed just friends), they tell me I did pretty well.

So for me it was hugely positive to realise i do have something to offer in this world and that I don't have to assume that if my wife leaves me I will die alone. I wonder how many other autists feel like they aren't viable when the truth is, as a guy, going out there and showing women the most basic kindness and respect is enough to put you ahead of the game.....


That is all. No mind games or treat them mean BS.


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Muse933277
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12 May 2022, 5:29 pm

What do you look like? You may not be as unattractive as you think you are.

Physically, the things that can give a man a disadvantage in the dating world are being very overweight, being short (at least 3 inches below the average height for men in your country), or being a 3 or lower on the 1-10 lookscale which most people would classify as ugly.


If none of that applies to you, then you may not be as unattractive as you think you are.



ChrisInAustralia
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12 May 2022, 5:40 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
What do you look like? You may not be as unattractive as you think you are.

Physically, the things that can give a man a disadvantage in the dating world are being very overweight, being short (at least 3 inches below the average height for men in your country), or being a 3 or lower on the 1-10 lookscale which most people would classify as ugly.


If none of that applies to you, then you may not be as unattractive as you think you are.


It's impossible for me to judge where I am on the looks spectrum but the feedback I got makes me think it's not as bad as I thought. I am over 6 foot. I am not overweight. I honestly believe that going out and being myself (that is, being kind and not pushy) was a bigger factor in my success than any of those things.