Anyone less willing to marry the older they get?

Page 4 of 5 [ 68 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 25,434
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

29 May 2022, 11:48 am

hurtloam wrote:
If it works for you Nick that's fab. A lot of us are commenting from a place where we've tried with this relationship thing and couldn't get it and being alone is a lot less tiring and much more peaceful.

That doesn't mean that there aren't people who are truly happy in their relationships. It's just some of us don't find peace in them.
I think I get what you mean. In some ways my personality within a romantic relationship is kinda the opposite of the stereotypical Aspie which kinda makes me more of an outsider compared to other Aspies. Like more than a few of us here, I struggled aLOT with getting romantic relationships in the 1st place. In some ways I probably am less compatible for a relationship with the stereotypical Aspie woman than lots of guys are & I'm just as incompatible with the stereotypical NT woman as lots of Aspie guys are, just in some different ways. There's def been times where I thought it would be alot easier emotionally to completely give up on trying & hoping. I've had some major problems in all 3 of my relationships & unfortunately I've caused lots of problems for them :( I've tried to learn from things & grow & I think that's partly why I'm happier being in a relationship. Lots of people assumed that I was expecting a romantic partner to magically fix my life for me instead of any change coming from within. I'm a better person within my current relationship because I have the change in environment, motivation, support, understanding, & encouragement to better allow for me to grow, & I also do not have the pressure to. It majorly helps that she's a very empathetic & loving person in general & she has lots of her own various issues so she can better relate & understand I have mine. She figures if I was better for her in some ways like me being more independent, I would have a harder time relating & understanding her. I'm sure I would not be as happy if I had a partner who was constantly on my case about me not measuring up to normal non-disabled guys. I felt like my mom was like that with me & it def made me feel a lot worse about things. There was so much bad history between me & mom that it was hard for me to make any changes even if I really wanted to. I felt stuck & trapped & needed a fresh start & a romantic relationship was my opportunity.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,574
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

16 Jun 2022, 6:15 am

I dunno if I can be bothered dating any more, let alone marriage.

I got back in touch with someone I really like and we had a good conversation, but it ended with the ball in my court and that whole load of effort Vs this thing probably won't work out and if I strike up a conversation again I'll probably be bothering him feeling sinks in.

If it worked out, that would be amazing, but if it doesn't I think I'll end up feeling worse than I do now.

"You'll make a new friend". Yes, but he'll just disappear when he gets a girlfriend like they all do.

I think this relates to the main topic.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 31,335
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

16 Jun 2022, 6:22 am

^ Friendships between men and women are often very temporary.

And complicated.


_________________
Come here to get the Block functionality for Wrongplanet:
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=390645


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,574
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

16 Jun 2022, 6:28 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ Friendships between men and women are often very temporary.

And complicated.


So true, well in my experience anyway.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 31,335
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

16 Jun 2022, 6:33 am

hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ Friendships between men and women are often very temporary.

And complicated.


So true, well in my experience anyway.



It is so true in many cases.

And the deniers are many.


_________________
Come here to get the Block functionality for Wrongplanet:
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=390645


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,574
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

16 Jun 2022, 6:44 am

I think some people do manage to make lifelong opposite sex friends with no complications. They have to both be on the same page though.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 31,335
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

16 Jun 2022, 6:47 am

^ Yes, if they’re both too ugly.


_________________
Come here to get the Block functionality for Wrongplanet:
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=390645


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,574
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

16 Jun 2022, 6:54 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ Yes, if they’re both too ugly.



:lol: :lol: :lol:
Not the response I was expecting. Shame on you.



Misslizard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,456
Location: Aux Arcs

16 Jun 2022, 10:43 am

I don’t want to get married again or live with anyone.You also get their family and they might be awful.I also don’t want to deal with children, mine are grown and have their own lives.
Not sure if I would even date again.Seems like an awful lot of effort for possibly nothing.


_________________
I am the dust that dances in the light. - Rumi


H_Taterz
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 23 Mar 2022
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 69

16 Jun 2022, 12:39 pm

Absolutely. I love being single. I actually regret wasting all the years I did in relationships because "that's what society deems to be normal." We are bombarded with RomComs and sex in nearly every single film or TV show.

I enjoy friend-relationships, but I feel romantic relationships are programmed by society. It's weird to be someone else's property.



Sparkles
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 15 Jun 2022
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 4
Location: NE Tennessee

16 Jun 2022, 3:35 pm

Misslizard wrote:
I don’t want to get married again or live with anyone.You also get their family and they might be awful.I also don’t want to deal with children, mine are grown and have their own lives.
Not sure if I would even date again.Seems like an awful lot of effort for possibly nothing.


Agree 100%



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 31,335
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

16 Jun 2022, 3:52 pm

hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ Yes, if they’re both too ugly.



:lol: :lol: :lol:
Not the response I was expecting. Shame on you.


You should rethink your expectations while talking to the Boo face.


_________________
Come here to get the Block functionality for Wrongplanet:
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=390645


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 105,723
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow

27 Jun 2022, 11:58 pm

I was never willing to marry, to be honest. After two bad relationships, I've decided to stay single.


_________________
Peabody

Om Nom 2024

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=26&start=645


Muse933277
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Mar 2020
Gender: Male
Posts: 573

28 Jun 2022, 12:42 am

I have 7 cousins and 1 sister in my family who have all gotten married, and out of 8 marriages, 4 ended in divorce within 5-10 years.

My sister is going through a divorce right now; they were together for 10 years but unfortunately, their marriage didn't work. It's not like they married too soon either as they were boyfriend and girlfriend for 3 years before getting engaged.

Seeing how tough marriage is and seeing how the divorce rate is 50/50 for people in my family, it seriously makes me reconsider even getting married. What's the point if there's a 50/50 chance of getting divorced?

I'm also unsure if I want kids as well and I could go either way. But I do know one thing to certain. I do NOT want kids before the age of 30.



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,212
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

28 Jun 2022, 11:39 am

I dunno tbh. I've been pretty relationship avoidant my whole life. Never really been in one as it's never truly been a mutual thing And I've avoided them, but, I still have my crushes and my current crush on my favourite fwb in a long time has had me thinking that If they were into it I'd date them, and while it's not exactly a fantasy of mine to get married, the thought has crossed my mind that IF they were into it I'd do it - marry them. I'm almost 40, so, IF a relationship like that were to be a mutual feeling thing, then maybe it's meant to be and I should just roll with it and do it ? Maybe.

But damn do I ever enjoy my independence and free time to do as I please! So, there's that.. which could all change this summer as it's still possible that I'll be taking on a teenager if that comes to fruition with social workers and what not. And if I'm going to move in with my cousin's son (on of my God sons) and now I have home-life obligations to be home to daily, then it's not such a stretch to also consider a relationship.. I mean, once tied down to something what's it really gonna hurt if I'm tied down to something else ? Could even be better if being tied down to raising a teenager means I can't just get out to meet people on a whim anymore.

So, there ya go.. I may be becoming a bit More open to the possibility of a relationship or marriage as I age.. maybe - in thought and theory, anyways. It'd only ever happen if it was mutual and felt right, most certainly not simply for the sake of not being single. That's definitely not the goal. I have a lot of living to do that's easier done solo than attached sooo a relationship would really have to be right for me to be in one.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


GreenL3aves
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 30 Jun 2022
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 8

30 Jun 2022, 7:38 am

No, I would love to be married. I tried to join a dating site a few weeks ago. I was speaking with two men. One of them, I previously knew his brother when I was more "normal" (I used to be more involved with the outside world). His brother even took me on a date. So, I decided to see him. He onlt wanted to have sex with me. So that deeply hurt me, and made me feel so stupid for trusting a guy again. The other guy talked to me all night for one night, then became impossible to reach while sending me short messages, like keeping me on the line. So, I blocked them too. I mean, I'm not that unpleasant. I would like to be married, but I don't know if it'll ever happen. Guys just focus on my physical appearance and my assets and I always seem to let them down. I think most guys these days want a ego boost from a pretty girl? It's not about companionship anymore. I would love a partner. But, probably never going to happen.