Can someone help me figure out why she blocked me?

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kraftiekortie
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14 Jul 2022, 7:40 am

I'm glad you, at least, got some "closure," even if isn't the sort of "closure" you wanted.

In truth, I would only "block" someone if that person is being threatening or consistently verbally abusive. Otherwise, I would just not answer.



goldfish21
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14 Jul 2022, 5:37 pm

She doesn't reciprocate the same feelings for you. Full stop, period.

Confessing your feelings, sending a Valentine's ecard, yadda yadda - she didn't respond because she's not attracted to you like that. She could probably also tell that you're obsessive, like many on the spectrum, and wasn't interested in being your persistent object of obsession. So much simpler to just block you and excommunicate you from her life and move on vs. remain friends with you while knowing you're REALLY into her and she's not attracted to you.

So, it was her choice to make a clean break and block you. Respect her decision and move on. Do not try to contact her - you'll risk getting slotted into the "creepy stalker," category and potentially reported to authorities for harassing her after she's made it crystal clear by blocking you that she does not want to have any further communication with you.

Cold heartless assessment? Perhaps. But it's the straight goods. Accept it and move on.


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Ettina
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18 Jul 2022, 5:13 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
From my experience, when you meet a girl and she’s in a relationship already, you will never wind up dating this girl, even if she breaks up with her boyfriend.

I have never been successful with chasing girls who had boyfriends when I met them but broke up afterwards. And yes I chased them after they broke up with their boyfriend. It’s never worked.

This sounds very odd to me.

It doesn't make sense to me that the mere fact of having known you earlier would be, in and of itself, a reason to say no to you. If anything, it should be a point in your favor.

Maybe you chased them too soon after they broke up with their boyfriends? Or maybe you approached them the wrong way?

How do other women here feel about this?


Maybe those women would only befriend a guy if they have zero attraction to him, to avoid being tempted to cheat? And then when they broke up, they still aren't attracted to him, so him pursuing them didn't work.

That's about the only explanation that makes sense to me.



robo37
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21 Jul 2022, 2:27 pm

So I've been speaking to another woman who coincidently has also recently left a traumatic relationship, and I need you guyses help again :lol:

I've been speaking to her a lot and initially figured she obviously wasn't interested in me, because when I told her she deserves someone who treats her right she replied by saying she wasn't currently looking for a relationship and needed time to learn how to live alone again. She then mentioned she was going to meet with people for a coffee on Sunday so I thought I may as well offer to come along too, if only because we haven't talked in five years and I thought it would be nice to have a catch up.

I was expecting her to politely decline but to my surprise she jumped on the idea, telling me she'd actually rather meet me alone on Saturday and giving me a load of suggestions where we could meet 8O

So my question is is it more likely she is only thinking of this as a friendly get together, or might there be a possibility she's eyeing me up as a potential boyfriend? Should I make a move?



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21 Jul 2022, 2:33 pm

I wouldn’t make the first move if I were you. If she’s just gotten out of a traumatic relationship, she should probably have the space to make the first move (IMO).

Maybe she just needs a friendly sympathetic ear or maybe she IS interested in you romantically. It’s hard to say.

She might consider you a “safe” person because you still expressed friendly interest in her after she said that she wasn’t looking for a relationship.

Maybe she wants a guy who isn’t solely interested in getting into bed with her. I don’t know her or her situation well enough to make a sound judgment call.

You pretty much need to play it by ear (which can be difficult for those who are on the Spectrum).


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Last edited by Twilightprincess on 21 Jul 2022, 2:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Jul 2022, 2:44 pm

Ettina wrote:
Mona Pereth wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
From my experience, when you meet a girl and she’s in a relationship already, you will never wind up dating this girl, even if she breaks up with her boyfriend.

I have never been successful with chasing girls who had boyfriends when I met them but broke up afterwards. And yes I chased them after they broke up with their boyfriend. It’s never worked.

This sounds very odd to me.

It doesn't make sense to me that the mere fact of having known you earlier would be, in and of itself, a reason to say no to you. If anything, it should be a point in your favor.

Maybe you chased them too soon after they broke up with their boyfriends? Or maybe you approached them the wrong way?

How do other women here feel about this?


Maybe those women would only befriend a guy if they have zero attraction to him, to avoid being tempted to cheat? And then when they broke up, they still aren't attracted to him, so him pursuing them didn't work.

That's about the only explanation that makes sense to me.



This.

and also never chase a woman; it never works.


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Muse933277
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21 Jul 2022, 4:50 pm

robo37 wrote:
So I've been speaking to another woman who coincidently has also recently left a traumatic relationship, and I need you guyses help again :lol:

I've been speaking to her a lot and initially figured she obviously wasn't interested in me, because when I told her she deserves someone who treats her right she replied by saying she wasn't currently looking for a relationship and needed time to learn how to live alone again. She then mentioned she was going to meet with people for a coffee on Sunday so I thought I may as well offer to come along too, if only because we haven't talked in five years and I thought it would be nice to have a catch up.

I was expecting her to politely decline but to my surprise she jumped on the idea, telling me she'd actually rather meet me alone on Saturday and giving me a load of suggestions where we could meet 8O

So my question is is it more likely she is only thinking of this as a friendly get together, or might there be a possibility she's eyeing me up as a potential boyfriend? Should I make a move?





Be careful, I've been in situations similar to this, and it always wound up in me getting friendzoned. If a girl says she isn't looking for a relationship right now, believe her. She's telling you that for a reason.

If a girl says she isn't looking for a relationship right now, then it usually means 1 of 3 things.

1. She truly isn't looking for a relationship right now and is not interested in dating at all.
2. She's trying to let you down easy and it's just a nice way of saying she doesn't find you attractive.
3. She's only interested in casual dating/hooking up.


So it could mean that if she finds you attractive AND you play your cards right, there is a possibility that this could turn into a casual dating/hookup situation. Although I wouldn't suggest making a move on her until you've gone out together a couple times and it's pretty clear she enjoys hanging with you. You will know because if she DOESN'T find you attractive/interesting, she'll simply leave you on read or take 24+ hours to respond after the date and that's how you'll know she lost interest.

However, you must be prepared because if you happen to misread signals of interest and you try to initiate a sexual relationship with her when she doesn't see you that way, you will most likely lose a relationship with her even if it's purely platonic. So MAKE SURE THAT SHE'S INTERESTED AND YOU'VE GONE OUT FOR AT LEAST A MONTH before trying to bring up the topic of sex.



cyberdad
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22 Jul 2022, 5:29 am

robo37 wrote:
After speaking to one of her friends I think I understand what happened now.

Because of trauma from her past relationship she has serious trust issues and it seems like she got the impression I was lying about caring about her feelings and wanting to support her in order to manipulate her into getting into a relationship with me. Then when I blocked her I think she was that as confirmation I was being manipulative.

It's sad because I did genuinely care about her and genuinely thought the block would do us good, but at least I'm more aware of how trauma can affect people now and I hope this helps anyone else know how to approach people dealing with it.


Just because somebody is NT doesn't mean they can't be unpredictable or over sensitive. If you can't manage her blocking you when you did the same thing I think you need to reflect on this offline.

I also think if somebody is going through trauma you need to expect that even the best intentions are not going to be appreciated and might even be counterproductive and make dislike you. If it's worth the risk, then that's on you.