I don't care for "Love on the Spectrum"

Page 1 of 10 [ 156 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 10  Next

Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,662

14 Mar 2022, 12:00 pm

Hi:
Am I the only one who doesn't like the show "Love on the Spectrum?" While it has some good qualities, those dates didn't work because those dates were blind. As someone who went on two blind dates during senior year of highschool, those circumstances never work. I even kissed one of the blind dates and felt sick afterwards.



HighLlama
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2015
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,017

14 Mar 2022, 12:33 pm

I haven't seen it, but blind dates seem anathema to someone on the spectrum.



Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,662

15 Mar 2022, 5:57 pm

When I went on my blind dates in hs, I just dove in headfirst because I wanted a boyfriend really bad.

With my first blind date it went pretty well until the kissing part. I thought I would enjoy kissing him but it did not feel right.

With the second blind date, we talked on the phone for a few weeks before meeting in person. He lied about his age. He said he was 17 but he was 15. I also was not attracted to him.



jamesebtrout
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 17 Sep 2014
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 38
Location: Falls Church, Virginia

15 Mar 2022, 11:04 pm

I just finished "Love on the Spectrum." I found it to be underwhelming. The bulk of the participants don't have a university education and the producers of the show seem to be incapable of accepting that people on the Spectrum often want to date people who aren't on the Spectrum or don't have a disability.



Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,662

17 Mar 2022, 1:19 pm

jamesebtrout wrote:
I just finished "Love on the Spectrum." I found it to be underwhelming. The bulk of the participants don't have a university education and the producers of the show seem to be incapable of accepting that people on the Spectrum often want to date people who aren't on the Spectrum or don't have a disability.


Well yeah that's because they are the ones who have a real learning disability. What bothers me is that they seemed to introduce these blind dates and only talk about their autistic traits. For example

"Tonight Gloria is going to meet Bob. Bob likes the feel of carpets, cat's fur, and the smell of tires. He hates the sound of train coming to a screeching halt, having to take a shower, and the feel of lotion."

If I am going to watch a show about love on the spectrum, I will take Atypical.



Muse933277
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Mar 2020
Gender: Male
Posts: 681

17 Mar 2022, 2:27 pm

I got set up on a blind date with an autistic girl once and it was a DISASTER. We had nothing in common; she was your typical young college-aged party girl who liked to do drugs, get wasted every night, and hookup with chads at a bar while I was the shy awkward introvert who doesn't do drugs, has never been drunk in my life, and is a virgin as well. Long story short, we talked for a total of one month and wound up on bad terms with both of us blocking each other.

I still think blind dates can work. But if you do get set up on a blind date, just make sure your friend is trying to match you with someone they think you'd actually be compatible with, otherwise it could result in a bad experience similar to what happened to me.



Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,662

18 Mar 2022, 12:24 pm

Both of these blind dates were set up by a childhood friend who really wasn't a friend at all. When she became a teenager, she never had time to connect with me. Rather, she set me up with a few two different guys based on the fact that they had disabilities and has poor social skills because she felt that about me. However, she didn't think about what they and I had in common.

1. The blind date who I kissed, for example, was interested into angry alternative music by bands like Korn. Back then, I liked rap and pop music. I didn't get into alternative until 4 years later.

2. I don't even think I had anything in common with the other guy who lied about his age.



jamesebtrout
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 17 Sep 2014
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 38
Location: Falls Church, Virginia

18 Mar 2022, 12:35 pm

Blind dates can work if the pair have something in common. The big issue remains that too many people are stuck in the belief that just having Autism in common is enough. I understand that "Love on the Spectrum" is just a television show, but unfortunately we remain a tiny minority of the population as a whole. For millions if not billions, movies and shows like that are their only exposure to a person on the Spectrum. Shows like this reinforce the false notions that ALL people with Autism are children in adult bodies, that we are generally poorly educated, and that we always do best when we stay with "our own kind."

I am often asked if I would date a woman on the Spectrum. My answer is of course, "yes"......provided that Autism is not what defines the relationship. That Autism is where our similarities begin and end. I am ALWAYS appalled when I hear people on the Spectrum define Autism or people who are LGBTQ define their sexual orientation as "the only thing they have." As if they have no interests or independent thoughts.



HighLlama
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2015
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,017

18 Mar 2022, 3:02 pm

jamesebtrout wrote:
Blind dates can work if the pair have something in common. The big issue remains that too many people are stuck in the belief that just having Autism in common is enough. I understand that "Love on the Spectrum" is just a television show, but unfortunately we remain a tiny minority of the population as a whole. For millions if not billions, movies and shows like that are their only exposure to a person on the Spectrum. Shows like this reinforce the false notions that ALL people with Autism are children in adult bodies, that we are generally poorly educated, and that we always do best when we stay with "our own kind."

I am often asked if I would date a woman on the Spectrum. My answer is of course, "yes"......provided that Autism is not what defines the relationship. That Autism is where our similarities begin and end. I am ALWAYS appalled when I hear people on the Spectrum define Autism or people who are LGBTQ define their sexual orientation as "the only thing they have." As if they have no interests or independent thoughts.


Great post :)



Mona Pereth
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,843
Location: New York City (Queens)

18 Mar 2022, 5:48 pm

jamesebtrout wrote:
I am ALWAYS appalled when I hear people on the Spectrum define Autism or people who are LGBTQ define their sexual orientation as "the only thing they have." As if they have no interests or independent thoughts.

Lack of interest in a prospective partner's "interests or independent thoughts" is not limited to the autistic and LGBTQ worlds.

I've run into quite a few people in the world at large who don't seem to care at all about a prospective partner's interests or ideas, but only about looks, "personality" (in the sense of personal charm), age, and other demographic categories of one kind or another, such as ethnicity or religion.

I've never understood this looks-charm-and-demographics-only approach. I have always (except during some very brief sexual experimentation phases) refused to date people who seemed to be interested in me only for these kinds of superficial reasons.

For me, intellectual companionship, including shared interests, has always been a prerequisite to any serious and deep friendship or romantic relationship.


_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter (new as of 2021)


HighLlama
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2015
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,017

19 Mar 2022, 2:36 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
jamesebtrout wrote:
I am ALWAYS appalled when I hear people on the Spectrum define Autism or people who are LGBTQ define their sexual orientation as "the only thing they have." As if they have no interests or independent thoughts.

Lack of interest in a prospective partner's "interests or independent thoughts" is not limited to the autistic and LGBTQ worlds.

I've run into quite a few people in the world at large who don't seem to care at all about a prospective partner's interests or ideas, but only about looks, "personality" (in the sense of personal charm), age, and other demographic categories of one kind or another, such as ethnicity or religion.


That's very true. I've only dated NT women, and I have never found anyone who gave a s*** about my interests. That's basically why I find dating and most relationships so boring. It's tiring when you take an interest and that's one-sided.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,012

20 Mar 2022, 3:07 am

The reason these are blind dates is because the participants need introductions otherwise they will remain dateless, The whole purpose of the date is to get to know the other person so no it's big deal.

The only person from season one who I was a little surprised participated was Chloe who seemed quite confident and presentable enough to attract any male or female partner.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,012

20 Mar 2022, 3:07 am

HighLlama wrote:
Mona Pereth wrote:
jamesebtrout wrote:
I am ALWAYS appalled when I hear people on the Spectrum define Autism or people who are LGBTQ define their sexual orientation as "the only thing they have." As if they have no interests or independent thoughts.

Lack of interest in a prospective partner's "interests or independent thoughts" is not limited to the autistic and LGBTQ worlds.

I've run into quite a few people in the world at large who don't seem to care at all about a prospective partner's interests or ideas, but only about looks, "personality" (in the sense of personal charm), age, and other demographic categories of one kind or another, such as ethnicity or religion.


That's very true. I've only dated NT women, and I have never found anyone who gave a s*** about my interests. That's basically why I find dating and most relationships so boring. It's tiring when you take an interest and that's one-sided.


Valid point.



MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,497
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

20 Mar 2022, 11:35 am

@OP you started another thread about this a while back

https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=400903

Feel free to read what I wrote there is I still hold the same opinions.


_________________
My WP story


MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,497
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

20 Mar 2022, 11:41 am

cyberdad wrote:
The reason these are blind dates is because the participants need introductions otherwise they will remain dateless, The whole purpose of the date is to get to know the other person so no it's big deal.

The only person from season one who I was a little surprised participated was Chloe who seemed quite confident and presentable enough to attract any male or female partner.

You certain you don't mean Kassandra?


_________________
My WP story


MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,497
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

20 Mar 2022, 11:49 am

HighLlama wrote:
Mona Pereth wrote:
jamesebtrout wrote:
I am ALWAYS appalled when I hear people on the Spectrum define Autism or people who are LGBTQ define their sexual orientation as "the only thing they have." As if they have no interests or independent thoughts.

Lack of interest in a prospective partner's "interests or independent thoughts" is not limited to the autistic and LGBTQ worlds.

I've run into quite a few people in the world at large who don't seem to care at all about a prospective partner's interests or ideas, but only about looks, "personality" (in the sense of personal charm), age, and other demographic categories of one kind or another, such as ethnicity or religion.


That's very true. I've only dated NT women, and I have never found anyone who gave a s*** about my interests. That's basically why I find dating and most relationships so boring. It's tiring when you take an interest and that's one-sided.

I happen to think the best policy for dating is that sex should be the first item on the agenda and if you get something beyond that lucky you.


_________________
My WP story