Guys to overprotective of there girlfriends?

Page 3 of 13 [ 206 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ... 13  Next

babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 48,612
Location: UK

07 Aug 2022, 1:43 pm

I think that some people think bars, pubs and clubs are exclusive pick up places. I don't think they are for most people.

I think Jamesy gets confused sometimes and thinks that because people go to these places to socialise that they are place where you also make friends.

They are places where already established friends or boyfriends and girlfriends go out to have a good time. It's not where most people go to actually make friends.

As for men being protective over their gf's, I think some would be. It depends on the relationship. Some women would be more than capable of looking after herself in this situation and some women would also take offence to a man thinking that he has the right to protect her.

Also Jamesy, you need to be careful for your own safety when approaching people in this way. And I don't just mean in case a man decides to start on you. I mean someone could also see your vulnerability some day.

There are some very savvy women out there as I am sure you're already aware.



Nades
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jan 2017
Age: 1932
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,604
Location: wales

07 Aug 2022, 1:48 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Nades wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Quote:
You made it seem like it was intentional though. You edited your comment several times to add he was using autism as an "excuse", i.e he knew what we was doing beforehand and used autism in retrospect for his reason.

It's all trivial anyway.


Behavior that makes others uncomfortable is not trivial, nor is the pattern of behavior of getting kicked out of bars, etc.

I’m not saying that he was using autism as an excuse beforehand. I wouldn’t know that one way or the other. He’s using it as an excuse now, though, and will probably do it in the future when something like this happens again if he doesn’t try to work on it.


Dropping a feather on my head makes me feel uncomfortable. Beating me half to death for standing in the way of someone on a hallway also makes me feel uncomfortable. Making others feel uncomfortable is a spectrum.

Autism has been proven to cause issues with eye contact. Sometimes it makes people uncomfortable and indeed, it's trivial.

Let's use common sense.


I am using common sense. We are talking about behavior in bars after a few drinks.

You don’t know how women feel in this scenario so don’t trivialize it.


Stop accusing Jamesy. I already asked him if he interacted with this particular woman beyond eye contact (which autistics indeed struggle with) and he said no. He literally done nothing more.

As you dug up already, Jamesy could do with moderating his time better in bars but for this interaction he didn't actually do anything serious.

Just give it a rest.



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,378
Location: Near London United Kingdom

07 Aug 2022, 1:52 pm

I only frequent bars once or twice a week



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 48,612
Location: UK

07 Aug 2022, 1:56 pm

Jamesy wrote:
I only frequent bars once or twice a week


Sorry Jamesy I was going off your op with my response. I did look at the whole thread.
Quote:
Do you think it's unfair on nights out that you can't even have a casual chat with a lady without a jealous boyfriend getting pissed of?


I've been in physical fights in pubs when I was younger for over doing it with the old eye contact. I've learnt to regulate in as I've got older.



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,378
Location: Near London United Kingdom

07 Aug 2022, 1:59 pm

babybird wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
I only frequent bars once or twice a week


Sorry Jamesy I was going off your op with my response. I did look at the whole thread.
Quote:
Do you think it's unfair on nights out that you can't even have a casual chat with a lady without a jealous boyfriend getting pissed of?


I've been in physical fights in pubs when I was younger for over doing it with the old eye contact. I've learnt to regulate in as I've got older.




Is even going out once a week to much?



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 48,612
Location: UK

07 Aug 2022, 2:01 pm

I don't think it is.

I'm wondering if there is a book somewhere about how to conduct yourself as a single man out on the town.



Nades
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jan 2017
Age: 1932
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,604
Location: wales

07 Aug 2022, 2:02 pm

babybird wrote:
I don't think it is.

I'm wondering if there is a book somewhere about how to conduct yourself as a single man out on the town.


It would be a good book for anyone to be fair.

Once a week is also not bad at all.



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,378
Location: Near London United Kingdom

07 Aug 2022, 2:10 pm

One of my friends goes to the bar every day and drinks pint after pint of stella. He's got autism as well.



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 48,612
Location: UK

07 Aug 2022, 2:15 pm

If i drank pint after pint of stella every day I'd be too cross eyed to make any kind of eye contact at all.

I'm not saying that as a possible solution BTW.



Nades
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jan 2017
Age: 1932
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,604
Location: wales

07 Aug 2022, 2:21 pm

babybird wrote:
If i drank pint after pint of stella every day I'd be too cross eyed to make any kind of eye contact at all.


I'm a 5% minimum guy myself. If I'm gonna drink I make it count. I need to keep in mind I have to drive home so only a pitiful single pint it is.

Grabbing myself a pack of four on the way home makes me cross eyed at home though.

Looking at how often OP goes to the pub, he could do better but so, so, so many people go far more often. I just can't really say you have an issue with amount you drink Jamesy. Once or twice a week just seems.......modest.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 85,094
Location: Queens, NYC

07 Aug 2022, 2:26 pm

Bars just aren’t good places to meet people if you are autistic.

I gave up going to bars 40 years ago.



klanka
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Mar 2022
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,195
Location: Cardiff, Wales

07 Aug 2022, 2:56 pm

f**k, autism is so bad.



Where_am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,775

07 Aug 2022, 3:19 pm

babybird wrote:
If i drank pint after pint of stella every day I'd be too cross eyed to make any kind of eye contact at all.

I'm not saying that as a possible solution BTW.

:lol:


_________________
"A loaded gun won't set you free. So you say." - Ian Curtis


enz
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Sep 2015
Posts: 1,023

07 Aug 2022, 3:45 pm

Then talk to guys maybe they will be gatekeeper



Caz72
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2013
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 750
Location: England

07 Aug 2022, 3:48 pm

my husband is very overprotective of me but thats because he knows im autistic and cant recognise others intentions very well so he thinks i might be led astray or something

i suppose its good i have a man like that to look out for me


_________________
Have diagnosis of autism.
Have a neurotypical son.


Twilightprincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,864
Location: Small Town From Hell

07 Aug 2022, 4:00 pm

It’s probably best just to avoid bars.

I don’t think that women “need protecting” but bars are not exactly known for being safe spaces.


_________________
Away.