How could my cool friend be so stupidly naïve about dating?

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My condolences.

I had a black Mustang.
In subsequent years when I've been there I drove a convertible Mitsubishi Spyder.
No condolences required, except that there was too much Frank Zappa.

Heavy traffic or perpetual jams in urban areas, high taxes of every kind, high gas prices, bad culture, earthquakes, just to name a few.

I wouldn't want to live in America at all because of the gun culture and political wars.
That's another topic.

The traffic, taxes, gas prices, and cost of living are higher where I am now.

You win on earthquakes.

That sounds a lot like self-harm. Have you spoken with your doctor about this?

Yup.

For 20 years I was legally forbidden from moving more than 20km (12 miles) from my current home.
That's part of single parenting agreements.

Now that is finally expired but I can't leave because I'm caring for two critically ill family members.

Where I went to college, the car culture wasn't as vicious as California's, but it was still pretty bad. And the social message was crystal clear: if you're a guy without a car, don't even think about asking girls out! Which is why I was so flabbergasted at my friend's suggestion. By driving me and my date, he was effectively throwing me under the bus (no pun intended). His excuse was that it was better than me and and my date taking an actual bus, but I didn't buy it. She'd instantly stop liking me and start liking him the moment she'd see his car, while a 40-something city bus driver in his uniform wasn't a threat in the slightest.

There's some funny memes in some communities are very money orientated. In Singapore I learned that a young men can't expect to date a girl unless he's got access to a
career
car
cash
camera
condominium and
credit

Great point. ^




Why do you say rse92's AS was "more severe" in the past?
Why do you think people learn to mask as they get older?

In my case I stopped masking.
I never did it much in the first place, but now not at all.

It's easier to figure out situations from my past without a mask.

The car culture wasn't bad in California, even in 2001.

If this girl you knew was superficial, that doesn't mean all girls / women are.
People can have character flaws regardless of their gender.

In my area, even the nicest girls were still very strict about guys having cars. It was just something they expected. Now, it didn't have to be a Lamborghini; a cheap Ford was sufficient. But even then, it was "have a car, or buzz off until you buy one".

Perhaps that was my friend's point. He naively believed that as long as a date doesn't involve walking or public transit, even with him driving, it's allegedly good enough. Well, that's not how it works! The girl would still know I didn't have a car, and there was a real risk of her becoming attracted to him and dumping me. (And that's if she agreed to him driving me and her around.)

Thankfully, I did meet someone later who wasn't superficial. In fact, me and her took a bus together on a date we went on.

So, um, still friends and still cool, after all these years?

Nope. I pulled away from him after he developed a gambling problem the senior year of college.

But that's irrelevant. I want to understand a social situation that predates my AS self-diagnoses.

IMO it is not necessary to drive to date in college.

You'd likely make the connection and ask on a date a girl that doesn't know if you drive or have a car. You don't exactly bring it into the classroom.

I'd say it's irrelevant towards getting a date, but it would be an asset toward relationship development, having ability to go places.

I was given the opposite message. Namely, that a car was mandatory to get a girl to like you at the beginning, but once a relationship got serious, walking and public transit were OK. Which caused me to fall into the trap of rushing seriousness/commitment with the next girl I met.

I was profoundly hyperlexic as a child and educated myself on a subjects before I even went to school. I was everyone's Little Professor. I've been masking my whole life.

I was profoundly hyperlexic as a child and educated myself on a number of subjects before I even went to school. I was everyone's Little Professor. I've been masking my whole life.