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Where_am_I
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08 Feb 2023, 1:53 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Of course I “get it!”

Sorry this happened….but no reason to get testy.

Is there some religious reason you don’t want to mess with your beard? Personally, I have nothing against it.

Your beard can grow again once you’ve trimmed it. How much did they want you to trim it?

I can’t help it. I understand “principles”—but if the loss of this opportunity would lead to you feeling hopeless, why not bend a bit when it comes to the beard? It’ll grow back. I don’t like that you might be back to “square one.”

Maybe I don’t understand. What does the beard symbolize for you?

It’s not “selling out” if you trim the beard, I don’t believe.

I wish you could get in a trade union or something like that.

It didn't appear like he was being testy. He said you're probably not going to get it, and he's right....because you're still talking about him trimming it.


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The Grand Inquisitor
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08 Feb 2023, 1:56 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Of course I “get it!”

Sorry this happened….but no reason to get testy.

Your beard can grow again once you’ve trimmed it. How much did they want you to trim it?

I can’t help it. I understand “principles”—but if the loss of this opportunity would lead to you feeling hopeless, why not bend a bit when it comes to the beard? It’ll grow back.

Maybe I don’t understand. What does the beard symbolize for you?

It’s not “selling out” if you trim the beard, I don’t believe.

I wish you could get in a trade union or something like that.

They wanted me to trim it short. I got testy because I don't want to talk about trimming or shaving it. This predicament is still very fresh and I'm really not in the mood to deal with more unsolicited suggestions about what I should do with my hair. I don't know why it's any more acceptable to do with facial hair than it is with head hair.

It's not just about principles. It's about how I feel most comfortable and most myself. If I'm planning on doing dealing for the foreseeable future, when am I growing my beard back? It probably wouldn't be able to happen, and I'm not ok with that. The decision I made should show you what I value more. There was no good outcome to be had here with the choice I was forced to make. Like I said before, I would have rejected the offer had I known I'd be put in this situation.



The Grand Inquisitor
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08 Feb 2023, 2:03 pm

Where_am_I wrote:
The bolded bit :x . That's a sign of a s**t employer.

You have evidence that they agreed it was fine. They are in the wrong.

Do you have anything like a Citizens Advice charity in your country? Services like this will be able to advise you on your rights, and what steps to take next - that is if you want to take it further.

Yeah, I think that was probably one person's contribution. Looking back, it felt like they'd brainstormed everything they could to say it wasn't going to work. Unfortunately I was quite exhausted that day by the time I met with them for the final conversation.

I thought about trying to take it further, but they got me to resign so I'm unsure whether that would be possible now.



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08 Feb 2023, 2:04 pm

Where_am_I wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Of course I “get it!”

Sorry this happened….but no reason to get testy.

Is there some religious reason you don’t want to mess with your beard? Personally, I have nothing against it.

Your beard can grow again once you’ve trimmed it. How much did they want you to trim it?

I can’t help it. I understand “principles”—but if the loss of this opportunity would lead to you feeling hopeless, why not bend a bit when it comes to the beard? It’ll grow back. I don’t like that you might be back to “square one.”

Maybe I don’t understand. What does the beard symbolize for you?

It’s not “selling out” if you trim the beard, I don’t believe.

I wish you could get in a trade union or something like that.

It didn't appear like he was being testy. He said you're probably not going to get it, and he's right....because you're still talking about him trimming it.

This!!



Nades
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08 Feb 2023, 2:22 pm

What was your job before you quit it?



The Grand Inquisitor
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08 Feb 2023, 2:33 pm

Nades wrote:
What was your job before you quit it?

Warehouse work. I didn't want to stay there, and I don't want to go back now that I've left.



Nades
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08 Feb 2023, 2:42 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Nades wrote:
What was your job before you quit it?

Warehouse work. I didn't want to stay there, and I don't want to go back now that I've left.


All manual stuff or with a forklift? If it's all manual then yeah it's not an amazing job for sure.



The Grand Inquisitor
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08 Feb 2023, 2:45 pm

Nades wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Nades wrote:
What was your job before you quit it?

Warehouse work. I didn't want to stay there, and I don't want to go back now that I've left.


All manual stuff or with a forklift? If it's all manual then yeah it's not an amazing job for sure.

All manual. Not where I want to be



kraftiekortie
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08 Feb 2023, 2:54 pm

I “get it” more than you think I “get it.”

Absolutely no reason to attack me like that. To treat me like I’m some Internet troll or something. Uncalled for.

I’ve had to do things that went against my principles to keep my job.

I UNDERSTAND he doesn’t want to trim his beard. And I have my own take on it. I’m entitled to my opinion. I don’t deal with people like that. I don’t deserve to be dealt with like that.

I’m not trying to attack the guy. Or anyone.



Nades
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08 Feb 2023, 3:02 pm

Awkwardly interjecting myself here, a well groomed stubble seems a lot less divisive with ladies than a larger beard. It can really pop a nice jawline out for example and lends itself better to styling and blending in. You might be surprised how good it can look on you if you never tried it before.

I used to have a longish beard but when I started trimming it even the other guys started commenting on it in a good way.



Nades
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08 Feb 2023, 3:03 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Nades wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Nades wrote:
What was your job before you quit it?

Warehouse work. I didn't want to stay there, and I don't want to go back now that I've left.


All manual stuff or with a forklift? If it's all manual then yeah it's not an amazing job for sure.

All manual. Not where I want to be


Manual warehouse work is the worst.



Where_am_I
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08 Feb 2023, 3:06 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Where_am_I wrote:
The bolded bit :x . That's a sign of a s**t employer.

You have evidence that they agreed it was fine. They are in the wrong.

Do you have anything like a Citizens Advice charity in your country? Services like this will be able to advise you on your rights, and what steps to take next - that is if you want to take it further.

Yeah, I think that was probably one person's contribution. Looking back, it felt like they'd brainstormed everything they could to say it wasn't going to work. Unfortunately I was quite exhausted that day by the time I met with them for the final conversation.

I thought about trying to take it further, but they got me to resign so I'm unsure whether that would be possible now.

I'm thinking maybe it falls under the category of constructive dismissal.

There's no harm in getting some free legal advice to assess your case. Be wary of time limits.

@Kraftie: I didn't think you were attacking TGI. I definitely wasn't attacking you.


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08 Feb 2023, 5:17 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
rse92 wrote:
May I ask why trimming your beard was "not an option" for you such that you would choose to be unemployed, and among other things lose the opportunity to meet people, rather than trim it?

Because it is a part of my appearance that I feel very strongly about keeping. Taking a job that condemns me to lose that for the foreseeable future isn't worth it.

If that doesn't suffiently convey where I'm coming from then I don't think I can make you understand.


IIRC, Didn't you say you keep the beard because a particular woman liked it?



Pepe
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08 Feb 2023, 5:30 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

I really wish this hadn't happened. I wish I'd known outright and got to reject the application of my own terms. I got really excited about being a dealer. I told everybody. Finally, something I could see myself being happy doing. I was always a bit sceptical of it actually happening up until I was told I'd be fine with my facial hair, at which point I finally allowed myself to get excited.

Now I just feel deflated. I'm depressed enough. I don't need more things to be depressed about.


Look on the bright side.
"You are foreman material", so to speak.
You had the qualifications to get the job.
That HAS TO be a psychological win, surely. :wink:



The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Feb 2023, 5:32 pm

Sue them and win money :twisted:



Pepe
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08 Feb 2023, 5:34 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

It’s not “selling out” if you trim the beard, I don’t believe.


I feel the same, but "to each their own". <shrug>