What Am I Even Supposed To Do To?

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I’ve seen photos of TGI.

He looks like a regular bloke with a beard. Nothing unusual about his looks. He’s maybe better looking than me, especially for women who value ruggedness.

He lost over 100 pounds once. And he hasn’t gained most of that back.

His situation is mostly borne out of luck, and self-fulfilling prophecies, I believe.

Well even having a woman to chat with online at that capacity has made a massive difference to my mental health in the past. I can only imagine that having a real girlfriend would make me very happy.

Well I'm depressed about not being able to have a girlfriend and not feeling wanted as a heterosexual man, and this depression has had many many depraved years to intensify. That's just the reality of the situation.

I sure as hell didn't choose this for myself. I would have given anything to have my fair share of dating when I was younger so I didn't end up in this position.

The bottom line is I need to fill the romantic void in my life, or not being able to do so is going to kill me.

Maybe now you can understand why suicide seems like the only answer.

Last edited by The Grand Inquisitor on 10 Feb 2023, 6:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have actually gained most of the weight back. I've gained almost 3/4 of it back, and it's probably only going to get worse from here.

I would bet, out of 10 women who see you on trivia night, at least 5 would dig you enough to say “yes” if you asked them out (provided they were single).

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 10 Feb 2023, 6:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

Depression is not "about something", it's a chemical state of your brain that enters a vicious cycle with your life choices.
No magical wand would take it away. Trust me, I have been nearly-suicidal depressed.

Then what I'm dealing with must not be depression, because this is definitely "about something".

My recommendation is forget the idea that sex will be good. Also will be over quicker than you realize what happened.

Focus on enjoying company instead.

I'm not thinking about just sex when I talk about physical intimacy. In fact I'm probably less focused on sex itself than you'd think.

Then what do you mean?
In my culture, hugs are appropriate between friends.

Hugging, kissing, physical touch.

Yes, you can hug friends and family, but it's not at all the same as hugging someone where mutual romantic interest and desire exists. I don't initiate hugs with anyone because hugging reminds me of the kinds of hugs i really want and am missing out on.

You're aware that you've grown elaborate fantasies that hinder your everyday living?

What do you mean fantasies?

Yeah, the way this predicament makes me feel does interfere with my day to day life.

I think that once you find a partner you may be disappointed. It’s not the end all be all in life. It probably won’t magically cure your depression.

You can’t rely on other people for happiness. That’s got to come from within.

That is true. While my boyfriend is the best thing that has happened to me and has changed me in some ways (in a positive way), I still get depressed and anxious and self-loathing, I think I always will. I still get jealous of NTs and wallow in self-pity because I don't have as many friends as my peers.

I seem to succeed in the dating world but making friends seems almost impossible.

This.
Even in a good relationship, this.

Every time I let myself rely on another person for happiness, I ended up sorely disappointed.

I’m not a cynical person—but the statement above is absolutely true.

One cannot be like John Keats (who died at age 25 of tuberculosis). Keats believed in allowing poetry to “come to him.” Men just cannot do that with romance; they must take the initiative in some fashion—even if it’s reacting positively to the initiative of women.