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Philippines: Infidelity is a Crime.

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nick007
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23 Mar 2023, 12:37 pm

Some states in the US have Alienation Of Affection laws. A few years ago(I think) there was a lawsuit in Louisiana where a married man was awarded millions of dollars from the guy his wife cheated on him with. I wonder if the married guy had to give his wife any money for alimony :? If the married guy woulda had to give his wife millions for alimony either way & his wife was gonna be with the other guy, suing the other guy so the married one could get his money back would kinda make sense to me. Otherwise these types of laws seem f#cking stupid to me. If my partner cheats on me, I would blame my partner & deal with them instead of worrying about the other guy.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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23 Mar 2023, 1:12 pm

nick007 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
There’s something weird in the Filipino culture which I would call « Single mom at will », meaning they have cases of single moms not due to unwanted pregnancy or spouse’s death or divorce, but some women *choose* to become single moms, like they choose a man to impregnate her, and that’s it, she goes on with her without the father being in the picture, not even financially, at all. I knew few who chose this lifestyle.

I knew a young Pinay in mid 25 who asked me to impregnate her (because she desired her baby to be of mixed ethnicity) without me getting involved in their rising, she was dead serious, and I was like « WHAT THE F—- IS THAT?! ! ». Like yeah as if it’s a hobby of mine to just, you know, bring babies to life and abandon them :roll: . This was like a cultural shock to me but apparently it is not very uncommon for them to do, probably because they fear marriage due to strict stupid Catholic rule? It’s almost a Catholic theocracy.

It is a very « women-based » society over-all, often women of family (mother + aunts + grandmas) all get involved in raising the child - grandparents (they are a young population) often literally play the role of parents of their grandchild, a lot of mothers are the breadwinners and work abroad. Fathers are commonly not in the picture.
They have a serious drug and alcoholism problem especially among men, like a pandemic.
Are those single mom's having relationships with other women? I'm not sure how the country & it's laws are towards lesbians. If lesbians are tolerated, it would not surprise me if a bit of the single moms are having relationships with other women.



Yes, surprisingly, their culture is very LGBT friendly; despite the Catholicism. They openly declare their orientations, even the parents and siblings know.



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23 Mar 2023, 5:35 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yes, surprisingly, their culture is very LGBT friendly; despite the Catholicism. They openly declare their orientations, even the parents and siblings know.
There are many 'bakla' in retail and entertainment.  These are Filipine men who wear makeup and women's clothing while acting in an exaggeratedly feminine manner.  No one pays them any mind except when they are used as comic relief in TV and movie productions.

The following quote is from  This Guardian Article 

Quote:
Bakla is a Tagalog word that denotes the Filipino practice of male cross-dressing, denoting a man that has "feminine" mannerisms, dresses as a "sexy" woman, or identifies as a woman.  It is an identity built on performative cultural practice more so than sexuality.  Often considered a Filipino third gender, bakla can be either homosexual or heterosexual, and are regarded as one of the most visible LGBTQIA+ cultures in Asia -- an intersectional celebration of Asian and queer cultures.

The bakla were renowned as community leaders, seen as the traditional rulers who transcended the duality between man and woman.  Many early reports from Spanish colonising parties referenced the mystical entities that were "more man than man, and more woman than woman".  Even today, many bakla in the Philippines retain high status as entertainers and media personalities.


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Fnord
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23 Mar 2023, 5:51 pm

Quite the paradox, eh?  Strict laws covering marriage and reproductive rights with a laissez-faire attitude toward LGBTQ+ people.


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nick007
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23 Mar 2023, 7:21 pm

Fnord wrote:
Quite the paradox, eh?  Strict laws covering marriage and reproductive rights with a laissez-faire attitude toward LGBTQ+ people.
Your right, it does seem very odd.

I wonder if the strict laws around marriage & reproductive rights are a factor for why so many women there pursue the mail-order bride route :chin:


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nick007
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23 Mar 2023, 7:26 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
I certainly wouldn't live there.


It is actually a paradise, google it, just don’t get married a Catholic marriage there.

It is one of the nicest « raw » natural spots in the world actually, well

… at least minus the volcanoes.

and minus the frequent earthquakes

and minus the tsunamis

and typhoons

and floods

Oh well, the deadly natural disasters are part of the Philippines experience, but you’ll be fine.
It has about as many natural disasters as California


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23 Mar 2023, 9:32 pm

nick007 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Quite the paradox, eh?  Strict laws covering marriage and reproductive rights with a laissez-faire attitude toward LGBTQ+ people.
Your right, it does seem very odd.  I wonder if the strict laws around marriage & reproductive rights are a factor for why so many women there pursue the mail-order bride route.
That is a racial stereotype.  No family that I have met so far will even admit to knowing that one of their members is a "mail-order bride".

That is not to say that no such thing exists, but it is to say that it is a very small portion of the population.

Economics likely plays a bigger role.  For some, the only way out of low economic status is to "marry up", which usually means marrying a foreigner (most likely an American).

I met my wife at church, and it took almost three years of courtship to convince her to marry me.


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nick007
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24 Mar 2023, 4:44 am

Fnord wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Quite the paradox, eh?  Strict laws covering marriage and reproductive rights with a laissez-faire attitude toward LGBTQ+ people.
Your right, it does seem very odd.  I wonder if the strict laws around marriage & reproductive rights are a factor for why so many women there pursue the mail-order bride route.
That is a racial stereotype.  No family that I have met so far will even admit to knowing that one of their members is a "mail-order bride".

That is not to say that no such thing exists, but it is to say that it is a very small portion of the population.

Economics likely plays a bigger role.  For some, the only way out of low economic status is to "marry up", which usually means marrying a foreigner (most likely an American).

I met my wife at church, and it took almost three years of courtship to convince her to marry me.
The Philippines is one of the top countries I hear about women choosing that route. Of coarse some dating sites are taking advantage of that stereotype & also fueling it. I knew some disabled guys online who found great wives from there but lots of disabled people won't have the money & resources to go that route.

It does make sense that economics would be the top reason why women would chose that as well as the natural disasters Boo mentioned.

I was wondering how you met your wife. I'm sure you mentioned it before on WP & I missed it or forgot. I didn't think you were seeking the mail-order bride route. Church is a much safer way to meet a partner for those who are majorly into their religion.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Mar 2023, 12:55 am

Fnord wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yes, surprisingly, their culture is very LGBT friendly; despite the Catholicism. They openly declare their orientations, even the parents and siblings know.
There are many 'bakla' in retail and entertainment.  These are Filipine men who wear makeup and women's clothing while acting in an exaggeratedly feminine manner.  No one pays them any mind except when they are used as comic relief in TV and movie productions.

The following quote is from  This Guardian Article 

Quote:
Bakla is a Tagalog word that denotes the Filipino practice of male cross-dressing, denoting a man that has "feminine" mannerisms, dresses as a "sexy" woman, or identifies as a woman.  It is an identity built on performative cultural practice more so than sexuality.  Often considered a Filipino third gender, bakla can be either homosexual or heterosexual, and are regarded as one of the most visible LGBTQIA+ cultures in Asia -- an intersectional celebration of Asian and queer cultures.

The bakla were renowned as community leaders, seen as the traditional rulers who transcended the duality between man and woman.  Many early reports from Spanish colonising parties referenced the mystical entities that were "more man than man, and more woman than woman".  Even today, many bakla in the Philippines retain high status as entertainers and media personalities.



Among my girlfriend’s entourage, I have been introduced to many of her friends who are openly bisexual and lesbians. They are light years ahead in this than some other cultures.