Should people only date people in their age groups ?

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IsabellaLinton
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20 Sep 2023, 5:06 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
The only time it's an issue is if the younger person is socially, emotionally, or developmentally delayed


Things get really messy when the older partner is the delayed one.


I was thinking that too.


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20 Sep 2023, 5:15 pm

Lost_dragon wrote:
I wonder if there's a word to describe age perception - e.g. who you consider to be your age, who you consider to be your elders and who you consider to be the youth as it were. In some languages and cultures, this influences how you're supposed to address someone.

Recently, I attended an interview where someone asked me my age. Now, you're not supposed to do this. However, sometimes people do it anyway and it's fairly obvious that I'm in my twenties or younger. When I said 24, she said 'Aw, you're a baby!' So clearly she viewed me in the 'youth category'.

I must admit I have an easier time connecting with people that I would consider to be my age. 20 to about 27. So, for me, I find age to be a factor.


I spent much of my career thinking I was too young to be considered mature for the things I wanted to be considered mature for, and too mature to be considered young for the things I wanted to be considered young for.



RetroGamer87
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20 Sep 2023, 5:40 pm

No.

I'm with an older woman and I have no problem with that. I was born in October 1987 and she was born in September 1987. She's 35 days older than me.


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funeralxempire
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20 Sep 2023, 7:10 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
The only time it's an issue is if the younger person is socially, emotionally, or developmentally delayed


Things get really messy when the older partner is the delayed one.


I was thinking that too.


I've been there and I'm grateful that both parties were always acting in good faith with each other.

I've matured enough to realize that there's no guarantee of that being the case.


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20 Sep 2023, 9:28 pm

The only age-related imperative for dating involves prosecution of any legal adult who dates a person under the Age of Consent (e.g., a "child").


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21 Sep 2023, 5:17 pm

Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
Those who judge are the same as those who'd condemn interracial couples. Just ignore the narrow-mindedness of those little people.


I find it strange having autistic people criticize others for being judgmental. What difference is "I can't stand 40 year olds who date 20 year olds" from not being able to stand smells, tastes, noises, asymmetry, etc?

Zakatar wrote:
If you’re in your mid-30s or higher and are attracted to people in their late teens/early 20s, there’s something seriously wrong with you.


Are you attracted to 20-somethings because of their age or coincidentally?

I'm not attracted to vegetarians, but it's hard to tell that from my dating and attempted dating history. I have trouble telling a 20 year old from a 30 year old. For that matter I find that 40 year old women either look 30 or 50.

I am kind of attracted to women in their early 20s even though I'm in my early 40s. And you're right, there is something wrong with me: I have autism. Because of my autism I've had very few relationships, and as a result I've lived alone most of my adult life. A single woman my age is probably divorced, often has kids, and usually has a lot more relationship expectations from experience that I can't meet.

I'm biologically in my early 40s, but due to going back to college where I'm at in my life is closer to typical early 30s, and my relationship experience is more like early 20s.

Not that it really matters. 20-somethings didn't want to date me when I was their age, much less now.

That said, it would awkward to start dating someone and find out their parents are the same age as me.



Benjamin the Donkey
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22 Sep 2023, 12:00 pm

Weight Of Memory wrote:
Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
Those who judge are the same as those who'd condemn interracial couples. Just ignore the narrow-mindedness of those little people.


I find it strange having autistic people criticize others for being judgmental. What difference is "I can't stand 40 year olds who date 20 year olds" from not being able to stand smells, tastes, noises, asymmetry, etc?


Do you seriously mean that you see no difference between disliking a particular food or sound, and passing judgement on who another person loves?


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22 Sep 2023, 2:15 pm

Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
Do you seriously mean that you see no difference between disliking a particular food or sound, and passing judgement on who another person loves?


If it bothers me, it bothers me, regardless of what "it" is.



Benjamin the Donkey
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22 Sep 2023, 8:42 pm

Weight Of Memory wrote:
Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
Do you seriously mean that you see no difference between disliking a particular food or sound, and passing judgement on who another person loves?


If it bothers me, it bothers me, regardless of what "it" is.


When the "it" is people, that's the basis for every form of bigotry and prejudice. It's not something to be proud of.


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Texasmoneyman300
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23 Sep 2023, 12:49 am

Age of consent in Texas is 17 so I think its fine as long as both parties are legal.



bee33
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23 Sep 2023, 4:32 am

There's a history in our society of older men who are rich and powerful having relationships with much younger and very attractive women. It's considered by some to be a sign of status for an older man to have a pretty, young girlfriend or wife. And while that can be fine and the relationship can be a genuine partnership of two equals who love each other, it can also be a "trophy wife" that is meant as sign of status, which is disrespectful to women in general, not just to the woman in question, because it implies that women are objects to be conquered like a prize. I think that's why age-unequal relationships that follow that pattern make people uncomfortable.



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23 Sep 2023, 8:23 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Age of consent in Texas is 17 so I think its fine as long as both parties are legal.


I'm going to call you out every time you post this because it's f*****g weird and you don't need to be with a 17 year old at 33 years old.

Why do you want to be with a HIGH SCHOOLER??


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23 Sep 2023, 8:25 am

Weight Of Memory wrote:
I find it strange having autistic people criticize others for being judgmental. What difference is "I can't stand 40 year olds who date 20 year olds" from not being able to stand smells, tastes, noises, asymmetry, etc?

Sensory issues are not at all the same thing as disapproval on (what one believes to be) moral or ethical grounds.

I can't stand to drink soda because I can't stand the feel of fizz in my throat. But I don't morally disapprove of other people drinking soda.


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23 Sep 2023, 8:34 am

honeytoast wrote:
I'm going to call you out every time you post this because it's f*****g weird and you don't need to be with a 17 year old at 33 years old.

Why do you want to be with a HIGH SCHOOLER??

Did Texasmoneyman300 ever say that he, personally, specifically wants to be with a 17-year-old? Or was he just saying he wouldn't pass judgment on such couples?


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23 Sep 2023, 9:11 am

I don’t think that a relationship between people who are 17 and 33 should be legal, and it’s not in a lot of places. There’s a world of difference there. Just because something is legal doesn’t make it right.


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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 23 Sep 2023, 9:36 am, edited 2 times in total.

Texasmoneyman300
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23 Sep 2023, 9:26 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
honeytoast wrote:
I'm going to call you out every time you post this because it's f*****g weird and you don't need to be with a 17 year old at 33 years old.

Why do you want to be with a HIGH SCHOOLER??

Did Texasmoneyman300 ever say that he, personally, specifically wants to be with a 17-year-old? Or was he just saying he wouldn't pass judgment on such couples?

Hi to all as long as its legal and were both adults and everything and she has reached the age of consent I would be open to dating a 17 year old but I would be sure to have a look at her ID.Howwever in Texas the min marriage age is 18 so ideally I would want to marry a woman between 18 to 21.I know yall dont approve of that but I was asked and this is a public forum.As long as I am following the letter of the law I will continue to be open to dating 17 to 21 year olds.I just think I should be able to date and marry who I want.But to get back to question I want to marry a 18 to 21 year so I can have a quiverfull of children.I know its taboo but as long as its legal I am not worried.