Should people only date people in their age groups ?

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chris1989
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19 Sep 2023, 12:13 pm

I do sometimes get irritated by ageism that occurs in parts or stages of people's lives. I don't always like when as a society we put people in different age categories like 18 to 24, 25 to 29, 30 to 34, 35 to 39 etc. I even seem to feel as though in some parts of the world there are even laws in place which say you can't do certain things if you are under or over a certain age. I even feel as though in the world of dating, people will still be turned off because for example, you are older even if they don't know how old you are. I seem to feel sometimes that it is irrelevant. I know of some people who were dating and one was much older than their partner and that is my mum and her partner, they first met I think at 46 and 28 and age to them is just a number and they have been with each other since.

There was someone I've seen several times at work where I get a coffee from and there is a woman working in there who is possibly in her late teens or early 20s and a few times she has served me when I go in and ask for a coffee and smiles at me but I clearly don't know if she likes me or not though. She even came in as a customer and I signed her up for a loyalty card for our shop. I don't usually stick around to speak to her as the shop is busy with other customers and she has other staff working with her and it makes it seem awkward to chat to her during that time. I do though at times feel bad though because I'm over 30 and it seems as though for a man in his 30s to be attracted to someone 10 or 12 years younger is ''creepy''. She obviously doesn't know how old I am and I don't know how old she is and I feel I won't ask that because its not something to ask a woman about.



rse92
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19 Sep 2023, 12:39 pm

No.



IsabellaLinton
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19 Sep 2023, 12:48 pm

No.


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Mikurotoro92
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19 Sep 2023, 1:56 pm

No

If you REALLY truly love someone age should not matter!! !

My boyfriend is 10 years older than me and the only issue would be if we wanted to have kids but male fertility declines at a slower rate than female


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funeralxempire
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19 Sep 2023, 3:23 pm

Depends on how you define age group.

Adults should date adults.


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nick007
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19 Sep 2023, 4:12 pm

No

It''s not uncommon where I'm originally from for women to be in relationships with guys at least a little older than them if not a lot older. My mom's dad was 7 or 9 years older than my mom's mom. & my dad's dad was 11 or 13 years older than my dad's mom. I think some it is related to being from the deep south which is well known for having more traditional gender roles. Guys are expected to be the primary finachial providers & women are expected to handle most of the housework. It usually takes a bit of time for people to become independent after graduating high-school. Women might be pressured into finding an independent guy so that her parents won't have to keep supporting her 1ce she's out of high-school & guys a bit older than that are more more likely to be independent.

As for myself, my 1st girlfriend was 15 when I was 20 & my 2nd was 19 when I was 28. I often felt like the immature kid in my 2nd relationship who couldn't measure up due to being disabled. My mom has often compared me to people my own age when I was a tween, teen, & in my 20s. It was lots of preseure that I knew I would NEVER be able to live up to. I know my mom was extremely frustrated by the situation but I was as well & fighting with each other prevented us from working together to find ways to improve things.


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Benjamin the Donkey
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20 Sep 2023, 1:45 am

As long as everyone involved is an adult, it's no one else's business. My partner and I have a significant age gap, but we've been together over 4 years and are better than ever.

Those who judge are the same as those who'd condemn interracial couples. Just ignore the narrow-mindedness of those little people.


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Zakatar
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20 Sep 2023, 7:40 am

Yes. If you’re in your mid-30s or higher and are attracted to people in their late teens/early 20s, there’s something seriously wrong with you.


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rse92
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20 Sep 2023, 8:10 am

Zakatar wrote:
Yes. If you’re in your mid-30s or higher and are attracted to people in their late teens/early 20s, there’s something seriously wrong with you.


Wait until you get into your mid thirties. You'll be disgusted with yourself.

You are telling us that if when you are 33 and a 22 year old smoke show shows interest in you, you are going to say no?



chris1989
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20 Sep 2023, 8:15 am

Is it wrong then for someone in their mid 30s to date someone in her mid and late 20s?



rse92
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20 Sep 2023, 8:17 am

chris1989 wrote:
Is it wrong then for someone in their mid 30s to date someone in her mid and late 20s?


No.



nick007
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20 Sep 2023, 10:07 am

Zakatar wrote:
Yes. If you’re in your mid-30s or higher and are attracted to people in their late teens/early 20s, there’s something seriously wrong with you.
There must me something seriously wrong with me & LOTS of other guys then but I also find women older than me attractive as well. I would not get in a relationship with someone still in high-school but if both people in a relationship are legal adults & not being forced or manipulated, I don't believe that their age difference should be a major problem unless they make it one. The main argument I hear against age difference relationships is that one person can be used for sex or the relationship can be abusive & exploitative in other ways, but to be fair that can happen to someone in a relationship even when their partner is the same age. As I mentioned before, my 2nd gf was 19 when I was 28 & she was the one that took charge in our relationship. She was a lot more independent than me(or at least had a very high desire to be) & she was a lot smarter than me & I felt like she didn't value my opinion & felt she knew better.


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chris1989
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20 Sep 2023, 2:54 pm

I never watched that show but Love Island stopped having people 30 and over going on the show and there was talk a while ago about older people having a sort of love island show for them but that also excluded people in their 30s.



IsabellaLinton
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20 Sep 2023, 3:09 pm

The rule is supposedly half of your age plus 7.

Half of 33 is 16.5, plus seven is 23.5.

I don't know what the big deal is if you're both legal. The only time it's an issue is if the younger person is socially, emotionally, or developmentally delayed, or if there's a power imbalance leading to some kind of coercion, love bombing, or control.


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funeralxempire
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20 Sep 2023, 3:13 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
The only time it's an issue is if the younger person is socially, emotionally, or developmentally delayed


Things get really messy when the older partner is the delayed one.


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20 Sep 2023, 4:47 pm

I wonder if there's a word to describe age perception - e.g. who you consider to be your age, who you consider to be your elders and who you consider to be the youth as it were. In some languages and cultures, this influences how you're supposed to address someone.

Recently, I attended an interview where someone asked me my age. Now, you're not supposed to do this. However, sometimes people do it anyway and it's fairly obvious that I'm in my twenties or younger. When I said 24, she said 'Aw, you're a baby!' So clearly she viewed me in the 'youth category'.

I must admit I have an easier time connecting with people that I would consider to be my age. 20 to about 27. So, for me, I find age to be a factor.


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