Confidence is disposable these days

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Jamesy
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09 Dec 2023, 6:34 am

They say confidence is all a man needs to get a woman’s interest. However do you agree that these days women find confidence unimportant/disposable?



DuckHairback
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09 Dec 2023, 9:49 am

Genuine confidence is really rare. Many men mistake arrogance and ignorance for confidence and are often masking a deep insecurity which might be why women find them less attractive.

I can't speak for what women find attractive though.

But from my perspective the most attractive thing I know is confidence. If we're just talking about physical attraction, and as this is a Jamesy thread I suspect we are, then I find if a woman is confident in her body and sexuality, the shape of her body is less important. I see no reason why that wouldn't be the case in the other direction.


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Last edited by DuckHairback on 09 Dec 2023, 10:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

swrider
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09 Dec 2023, 10:18 am

I don't even completely understand the things I find attractive, I won't try to guess for half of humanity.

I suspect though that it depends on the woman everyone is different.



shortfatbalduglyman
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09 Dec 2023, 12:41 pm

Different women value different qualities in men

Some precious lil "people" act like "confidence not proportional to competence"



TwilightPrincess
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09 Dec 2023, 12:51 pm

I care more about other traits like kindness, empathy, a keen sense of humor, and intelligence.


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nick007
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09 Dec 2023, 1:08 pm

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
Different women value different qualities in men

Some precious lil "people" act like "confidence not proportional to competence"
I think that's called arrogance.


DuckHairback wrote:
Genuine confidence is really rare. Many men mistake arrogance and ignorance for confidence and are often masking a deep insecurity which might be why women find them less attractive.

I can't speak for what women find attractive though.

But from my perspective the most attractive thing I know is confidence. If we're just talking about physical attraction, and as this is a Jamesy thread I suspect we are, then I find if a woman is confident in her body and sexuality, the shape of her body is less important. I see no reason why that wouldn't be the case in the other direction.
I tend to find confident women less attractive. Probably because a lot of the confident women I known or see in the media seem stuck-up, shallow, & superficial.


People have different ideas about what confidence is. Lots think I lack confidence because I understand & accept that I do have various limitations due to disabilities & I know from experience that most others will not give me a decent chance. However I also know I have some relationships strengths & believed that most women would love me if they were willing to give me a real chance & try & meet me halfway.


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CockneyRebel
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09 Dec 2023, 2:25 pm

There are some women who are frightened by a man who's overconfident.


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Minervx_2
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10 Dec 2023, 7:59 am

You frame this question in a black or white way. That confidence is either all you need, or that it's disposible.

Having a healthy confidence is an advantage. But it's not the only factor

I'll put it like this. Is having a good pair of running shoes all that you need to win a marathon? No. But is it a meaningful advantage? Absolutely.



Mountain Goat
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10 Dec 2023, 8:47 am

That depends on the type of shoes and the type of marathon terrain one is running on. There are a large number of shoes designed for specific types of terrain. Not all marathons will be run on tarmac, so it varies, and runners may find they need to adapt their shoe choice for the course they are on.


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Minervx_2
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10 Dec 2023, 8:51 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
That depends on the type of shoes and the type of marathon terrain one is running on. There are a large number of shoes designed for specific types of terrain. Not all marathons will be run on tarmac, so it varies, and runners may find they need to adapt their shoe choice for the course they are on.


True, but that extends beyond the scope of the point I was making.

Having a good pair of shoes isn't going to make you win a marathon if you suck at running. But that doesn't mean you should go barefoot.



Mountain Goat
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10 Dec 2023, 9:05 am

Minervx_2 wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
That depends on the type of shoes and the type of marathon terrain one is running on. There are a large number of shoes designed for specific types of terrain. Not all marathons will be run on tarmac, so it varies, and runners may find they need to adapt their shoe choice for the course they are on.


True, but that extends beyond the scope of the point I was making.

Having a good pair of shoes isn't going to make you win a marathon if you suck at running. But that doesn't mean you should go barefoot.


It would take me a few days to walk a marathon! :D


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Mountain Goat
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10 Dec 2023, 9:21 am

Confidence. From what I understand, women do in general look for confident men because inwardly they look for a man who can provide. Now this may not be the aspect that all women look for and thank God for that!

Most of us are looking for that special someone to "Complete" our lives...


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Minervx_2
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10 Dec 2023, 10:11 am

Also, you shouldn't be confident just because it's a trait women like.

You should be confident for your own benefit. You're doing it for your own health and happiness. Not just to impress someone.

Be confident regardless of whether you're single or not. Be confident regardless of who it does or doesn't attract.

Like yourself no matter what.
Be your own friend no matter what.
Have faith in yourself no matter what.

Don't let a date with some person be the deciding factor of your confidence.



nick007
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10 Dec 2023, 4:28 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
There are some women who are frightened by a man who's overconfident.
My gf is one of them.


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nick007
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10 Dec 2023, 5:44 pm

Minervx_2 wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
That depends on the type of shoes and the type of marathon terrain one is running on. There are a large number of shoes designed for specific types of terrain. Not all marathons will be run on tarmac, so it varies, and runners may find they need to adapt their shoe choice for the course they are on.


True, but that extends beyond the scope of the point I was making.

Having a good pair of shoes isn't going to make you win a marathon if you suck at running. But that doesn't mean you should go barefoot.
I think I get it MG, there's different types of confidence & different forms can be better in different situations. But what you mean Minervx is that confidence is not the only factor to consider but confidence can be quit helpful sometimes.


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Mountain Goat
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10 Dec 2023, 6:29 pm

nick007 wrote:
Minervx_2 wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
That depends on the type of shoes and the type of marathon terrain one is running on. There are a large number of shoes designed for specific types of terrain. Not all marathons will be run on tarmac, so it varies, and runners may find they need to adapt their shoe choice for the course they are on.


True, but that extends beyond the scope of the point I was making.

Having a good pair of shoes isn't going to make you win a marathon if you suck at running. But that doesn't mean you should go barefoot.
I think I get it MG, there's different types of confidence & different forms can be better in different situations. But what you mean Minervx is that confidence is not the only factor to consider but confidence can be quit helpful sometimes.


Yes. I was actually sidelined into thinking about shoes but I knew there was a point I was making! Haha! Thanks for reminding me what I was talking about! :P


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Last edited by Mountain Goat on Febuary 31st, 2026, 12:42 am, edited 126 time in total.