Should I try on wedding dresses OR have sex first?

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Mikurotoro92
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22 Feb 2024, 9:26 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
The reason I feel that trying on wedding dresses could help me get to my goal is because doing so will send a message to the Universe that I am ready to get married!

I believe in the concept of Manifestation and the Law of Attraction


Ah, I think that's what's called performative. That's what I meant when I described it as a larp. I don't really buy into those concepts, but I feel like it's off-topic to get into that debate.

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
It is true that sex for fun isn't going to get me to my goal HOWEVER having sex with a man who turns out to be my future husband would be a different story

That is what I mean


And sometimes that happens. One of my most serious relationships started as a hook-up at a con. There's also another angle, to play devil's advocate a bit: even if having sex with someone doesn't result in being closer to having a marriage, it does at least count as experience with sex, meaning the next time it might happen it's not something entirely new. If it happens but doesn't get you any closer to marriage, that doesn't make it a waste.

As long as it happens on terms you find agreeable, rather than merely tolerable (or worse) seems ideal.


Yeah I should go for sex AND trying on wedding dresses!

I am thinking if I was to invite one of the men from Day Program to my house, more specifically Jesse he would certainly try to initiate sex because he obviously has a thing for me

This time instead of just a kiss on the cheek and hand it would be full-on on the lips!! !

He probably wants to kiss me on the lips but he cannot get away with that at Day Program! :heart: :lol:


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funeralxempire
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22 Feb 2024, 9:35 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
The reason I feel that trying on wedding dresses could help me get to my goal is because doing so will send a message to the Universe that I am ready to get married!

I believe in the concept of Manifestation and the Law of Attraction


Ah, I think that's what's called performative. That's what I meant when I described it as a larp. I don't really buy into those concepts, but I feel like it's off-topic to get into that debate.

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
It is true that sex for fun isn't going to get me to my goal HOWEVER having sex with a man who turns out to be my future husband would be a different story

That is what I mean


And sometimes that happens. One of my most serious relationships started as a hook-up at a con. There's also another angle, to play devil's advocate a bit: even if having sex with someone doesn't result in being closer to having a marriage, it does at least count as experience with sex, meaning the next time it might happen it's not something entirely new. If it happens but doesn't get you any closer to marriage, that doesn't make it a waste.

As long as it happens on terms you find agreeable, rather than merely tolerable (or worse) seems ideal.


Yeah I should go for sex AND trying on wedding dresses!

I am thinking if I was to invite one of the men from Day Program to my house, more specifically Jesse he would certainly try to initiate sex because he obviously has a thing for me

This time instead of just a kiss on the cheek and hand it would be full-on on the lips!! !

He probably wants to kiss me on the lips but he cannot get away with that at Day Program! :heart: :lol:


You might, but definitely listen to the concerns about the potential risks. You don't want to invite someone over only to find out they have no respect for your boundaries. There's also the risk of having differing intentions.

No matter what you do I hope it goes well for you.


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22 Feb 2024, 9:45 pm

DanielW wrote:
If this is a serious question you are asking, you are not ready to for either of them.

I second that.



The_Face_of_Boo
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23 Feb 2024, 3:12 am

Dating, beer, gaming, sex, ….then wedding dress.

In that order.


Oh you mean just for fun…? Okay nevermind. Dresses are safer, they don’t give you STDs nor unwanted pregnancy.



Mikurotoro92
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23 Feb 2024, 3:17 am

Lol oh I don't know about that

What if you wore a revealing off-the-shoulder or strapless wedding dress?

That could lead to sex if you wore it in front of a man, right?

In fact I might actually be able to use that to my advantage!! !

If I invite someone from Day Program over to spend the night or whatever I could wear one of my revealing off-the-shoulder or strapless dresses to entice him into sex

I think strapless would be best because you can easily remove the dress


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23 Feb 2024, 3:56 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
Does the dress fit? Are you happy with it? Sex would be difficult when wearing it and would be inappropiate in a wedding until after one has been married, but take the wedding dress off and find some more suitable things to wear if one is going to have sex.
I don't know much about these things as have yet to experisnce proper sex, so am guessing. But wedding dresses do look as if they would be in the way and isn't ones potential husband not supposed to see the dress or see you the night before the wedding?
Wearing wedding dresses is a fetish in a bit of adult type vids :mrgreen: However I think wearing a wedding dress in real life would probably scare most guys off unless it's after their relationship has become very serious like the couple has gotten engaged. I woulda been alot more interested but I'm not most guys. When I was singe 13 to 20 years ago, I desperately wanted to be married or at least be living with a girlfriend & I totally woulda rushed into a wedding if I had the opportunity & a handfull of criteria were met. I'm majorly not right in the head :oops: :shrug:


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23 Feb 2024, 5:20 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
If I invite someone from Day Program over to spend the night or whatever I could wear one of my revealing off-the-shoulder or strapless dresses to entice him into sex

I suspect that men would typically prefer an approach that doesn’t involve a wedding dress. I’m not saying I tried it though.:chin:

If you’re dating or in a relationship with someone, sexual interest is usually going to be there without much effort. Wear normal clothes that you like and feel good in.


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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 23 Feb 2024, 5:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

ezbzbfcg2
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23 Feb 2024, 5:43 am

If this is a serious question, then I don't think you should be doing either.



blitzkrieg
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23 Feb 2024, 8:51 am

The OP sounds ready to have sex with anyone.

That is probably not a good idea, however.

As others have mentioned in the thread, you should be weighing up any person you are considering having sex with and analyzing whether they are the right person to do that with.

Hypothetically, if you had sex with a person at day program, and things in your relations went sour with that person, then that could pose problems with your day program, on a social level, for example. It is worth thinking about the consequences.



Mikurotoro92
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23 Feb 2024, 11:50 am

Yeah that is true

But I am saying that HE would be the one to initiate sex because I think he has feelings for me


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24 Feb 2024, 3:01 am

You SHOULD WAIT! You should meet a guy first then get to know him. If you hurry, you will get hurt. I’m 53, I never had sex, but I don’t want to rush it. I have a boyfriend, he lives in another country, I’m not thinking about sex right now, not because he in a different country.



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24 Feb 2024, 3:13 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Yeah that is true

But I am saying that HE would be the one to initiate sex because I think he has feelings for me


I am sorry to say, but that's not quite how it works...like some people are into casual sex/hooking up., like where they have sex but there is not committed relationship involved.

So a guy initiating sex does not mean necessarily that he really likes you and wants to be your boyfriend, sometimes they just want the sex. I learned the hard way because I was very naive when I first had sex and also thought like having sex meant something serious...but that's not the case.

If you're looking for a relationship it's better to get to know a guy first before having sex like at least get a few dates in first. Because unfortunately not all guys just looking for a hook up are super upfront about it and may lead women on...so if you require a few dates and getting to know them first that can help weed out guys who just want sex.


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24 Feb 2024, 5:52 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Yeah that is true

But I am saying that HE would be the one to initiate sex because I think he has feelings for me


I am sorry to say, but that's not quite how it works...like some people are into casual sex/hooking up., like where they have sex but there is not committed relationship involved.

So a guy initiating sex does not mean necessarily that he really likes you and wants to be your boyfriend, sometimes they just want the sex. I learned the hard way because I was very naive when I first had sex and also thought like having sex meant something serious...but that's not the case.

If you're looking for a relationship it's better to get to know a guy first before having sex like at least get a few dates in first. Because unfortunately not all guys just looking for a hook up are super upfront about it and may lead women on...so if you require a few dates and getting to know them first that can help weed out guys who just want sex.


Thank you for this post Sweetleaf. I wanted to say the comment in large that I have highlighted in your post, myself - but I didn't want to come across as giving the OP the third degree.



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24 Feb 2024, 6:45 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Yeah that is true

But I am saying that HE would be the one to initiate sex because I think he has feelings for me


I am sorry to say, but that's not quite how it works...like some people are into casual sex/hooking up., like where they have sex but there is not committed relationship involved.

So a guy initiating sex does not mean necessarily that he really likes you and wants to be your boyfriend, sometimes they just want the sex. I learned the hard way because I was very naive when I first had sex and also thought like having sex meant something serious...but that's not the case.

If you're looking for a relationship it's better to get to know a guy first before having sex like at least get a few dates in first. Because unfortunately not all guys just looking for a hook up are super upfront about it and may lead women on...so if you require a few dates and getting to know them first that can help weed out guys who just want sex.


Guys can indeed be sneaky when misleading women into thinking they want a commited relationship but actually just want sex. That being said, the more casual stuff might still be worth considering. Finding out what it's like will help put it into context, even if it's just a one nighter.

I've seen plenty of men and women who were held back by putting too much emphasis on sex without actually knowing what it's like in the first place. OP isn't the waiting until marriage kind, but she's certainly been patient enough to throw a bit of caution to the wind (sensibly) with how she gets rid of the monkey on her shoulder.



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24 Feb 2024, 2:10 pm

Nades wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Yeah that is true

But I am saying that HE would be the one to initiate sex because I think he has feelings for me


I am sorry to say, but that's not quite how it works...like some people are into casual sex/hooking up., like where they have sex but there is not committed relationship involved.

So a guy initiating sex does not mean necessarily that he really likes you and wants to be your boyfriend, sometimes they just want the sex. I learned the hard way because I was very naive when I first had sex and also thought like having sex meant something serious...but that's not the case.

If you're looking for a relationship it's better to get to know a guy first before having sex like at least get a few dates in first. Because unfortunately not all guys just looking for a hook up are super upfront about it and may lead women on...so if you require a few dates and getting to know them first that can help weed out guys who just want sex.


Guys can indeed be sneaky when misleading women into thinking they want a commited relationship but actually just want sex. That being said, the more casual stuff might still be worth considering. Finding out what it's like will help put it into context, even if it's just a one nighter.

I've seen plenty of men and women who were held back by putting too much emphasis on sex without actually knowing what it's like in the first place. OP isn't the waiting until marriage kind, but she's certainly been patient enough to throw a bit of caution to the wind (sensibly) with how she gets rid of the monkey on her shoulder.


I HAVE been holding off until marriage but...I just want a man here with me right now!! !

I miss the kissing and making out too :heart: :heart: :heart:

So once I find the right person I WILL NO LONGER HOLD BACK!


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24 Feb 2024, 3:16 pm

Maybe you should audition for Love On the Spectrum.


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