Was this rude how she responded to my cousin?

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Jamesy
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22 May 2024, 9:52 am

My cousin who has autism told me today when he was at a social gathering in a pub garden this woman said to her boyfriend infront of all her friends "Isn't he handsome" My cousin (unfortunately for him) misheard her and thought the comment was about him and immediately said "You mean me?" and she responded "No not you".

Do you think in a way that was kind of rude/insolent how she responded to my cousin or not?



Nades
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22 May 2024, 10:08 am

Not at all. If she was talking about someone else then there wasn't many other ways of responding.



Jamesy
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22 May 2024, 10:09 am

Nades wrote:
Not at all. If she was talking about someone else then there isn't much else she could have said.



She could have said to my my cousin at least "Well your handsome to" after he misheard her.



MoeTrashPanda
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22 May 2024, 10:15 am

Jamesy wrote:
Nades wrote:
Not at all. If she was talking about someone else then there isn't much else she could have said.



She could have said to my my cousin at least "Well your handsome to" after he misheard her.


I don't think she was rude at all. Sounds like she was being direct--which is OKAY! She doesn't owe him a fluffy answer or explanation.

1. It's not her job to console a stranger
2. She shouldn't be forced to lie if she doesn't think it's true for the sake of a stranger's ego
3. It's your cousin's job to console himself and control his own emotions/reactions
4. Women are allowed to say "no" without giving any explanation


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Cornflake
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22 May 2024, 10:18 am

Jamesy wrote:
Nades wrote:
Not at all. If she was talking about someone else then there isn't much else she could have said.
She could have said to my my cousin at least "Well your handsome to" after he misheard her.
Why would she, if she didn't think he was handsome or just wasn't interested in engaging with him?


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Jamesy
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22 May 2024, 10:19 am

MoeTrashPanda wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Nades wrote:
Not at all. If she was talking about someone else then there isn't much else she could have said.



She could have said to my my cousin at least "Well your handsome to" after he misheard her.


I don't think she was rude at all. Sounds like she was being direct--which is OKAY! She doesn't owe him a fluffy answer or explanation.

1. It's not her job to console a stranger
2. She shouldn't be forced to lie if she doesn't think it's true for the sake of a stranger's ego
3. It's your cousin's job to console himself and control his own emotions/reactions
4. Women are allowed to say "no" without giving any explanation



When the woman first met my cousin at the pub she and her friend blanked him out/ignored him while giving compliments to there guy friends



Jamesy
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22 May 2024, 10:21 am

Cornflake wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Nades wrote:
Not at all. If she was talking about someone else then there isn't much else she could have said.
She could have said to my my cousin at least "Well your handsome to" after he misheard her.
Why would she, if she didn't think he was handsome or just wasn't interested in engaging with him?



I still think it was rude for her to basically say he was not handsome or attractive. My cousin should have stood up for himself in that situation.



Cornflake
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22 May 2024, 10:22 am

Newsflash - women are not obliged to look after the interests of strangers.


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22 May 2024, 10:23 am

Cornflake wrote:
Newsflash - women are not obliged to look after the interests of strangers.


THIS!! ! She is NOT obligated to compliment him if she doesn't think he's attractive.


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Jamesy
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22 May 2024, 10:24 am

Cornflake wrote:
Newsflash - women are not obliged to look after the interests of strangers.



How would you feel if someone implied you were unattractive? :roll:



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22 May 2024, 10:24 am

Jamesy wrote:
MoeTrashPanda wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Nades wrote:
Not at all. If she was talking about someone else then there isn't much else she could have said.



She could have said to my my cousin at least "Well your handsome to" after he misheard her.


I don't think she was rude at all. Sounds like she was being direct--which is OKAY! She doesn't owe him a fluffy answer or explanation.

1. It's not her job to console a stranger
2. She shouldn't be forced to lie if she doesn't think it's true for the sake of a stranger's ego
3. It's your cousin's job to console himself and control his own emotions/reactions
4. Women are allowed to say "no" without giving any explanation



When the woman first met my cousin at the pub she and her friend blanked him out/ignored him while giving compliments to there guy friends


And that's totally okay for them to do! They weren't interested in your cousin! They don't owe him ANYTHING. Your expectations for what this woman should have done is honestly kind of disgusting. She doesn't owe him a compliment, she doesn't owe him a "yes," she doesn't owe him her time , she doesn't owe him conversation.


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Cornflake
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22 May 2024, 10:25 am

Jamesy wrote:
When the woman first met my cousin at the pub she and her friend blanked him out/ignored him while giving compliments to there guy friends
And? Are they expected to spend time dishing out compliments to strangers?
Supposing they were... ooh, you know - simply not interested?


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Jamesy
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22 May 2024, 10:25 am

MoeTrashPanda wrote:
Cornflake wrote:
Newsflash - women are not obliged to look after the interests of strangers.


THIS!! ! She is NOT obligated to compliment him if she doesn't think he's attractive.



Remember my cousin misheard her by mistake initially thinking she was calling him handsome



Jamesy
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22 May 2024, 10:26 am

MoeTrashPanda wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
MoeTrashPanda wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Nades wrote:
Not at all. If she was talking about someone else then there isn't much else she could have said.



She could have said to my my cousin at least "Well your handsome to" after he misheard her.


I don't think she was rude at all. Sounds like she was being direct--which is OKAY! She doesn't owe him a fluffy answer or explanation.

1. It's not her job to console a stranger
2. She shouldn't be forced to lie if she doesn't think it's true for the sake of a stranger's ego
3. It's your cousin's job to console himself and control his own emotions/reactions
4. Women are allowed to say "no" without giving any explanation



When the woman first met my cousin at the pub she and her friend blanked him out/ignored him while giving compliments to there guy friends


And that's totally okay for them to do! They weren't interested in your cousin! They don't owe him ANYTHING. Your expectations for what this woman should have done is honestly kind of disgusting. She doesn't owe him a compliment, she doesn't owe him a "yes," she doesn't owe him her time , she doesn't owe him conversation.



Disagree we should all treat each other with respect

My cousin has met a lot of women who are nice to him and friendly go him



Last edited by Jamesy on 22 May 2024, 10:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

MoeTrashPanda
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22 May 2024, 10:28 am

Jamesy wrote:

Disagree we should all treat each other with respect


She did treat him respect. She didn't insult him or call him ugly. Literally all she said was NO. Your expectations of women is disrespectful.


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Cornflake
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22 May 2024, 10:28 am

Jamesy wrote:
Cornflake wrote:
Newsflash - women are not obliged to look after the interests of strangers.
How would you feel if someone implied you were unattractive? :roll:
But not engaging with someone doesn't imply anything; there was no communication.


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