Compatibility Communication and stuff

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I can't see me ever tying the knot
I've never even been close to it

Same.

Careful what you wish for. I tied the knot and had it all fall apart 3 times before I got one to stick right. Not that I'm saying you're wishing.

Getting married for the first time is SCARY!! !

We really need to de-emphasize it because the constant societal conditioning about marriage is DESTROYING PEOPLE'S LIVES!

I somehow ingested the bulk of the spectrum by finding a partner, getting married, and now being a widower in less than ten years. I'm only thankful it happened before we planned to start having children else I wouldn't be able to bear the weight of loss. Even trying to unpack parts of that sensation is difficult, but I am something of a trauma suit after all.

That all aside, people getting into relationships should be more upfront about their desires or expectations even if it is only "lets see where it goes". I personally told my wife, back when we started dating, that the nominal terms were essentially "dating to assess marriage viability, if compatible shall marry". While my labeling it as our binding contract didn't earn me any direct points, the value of such was still known.

^I personally think that both marriage and motherhood are overrated

Doesn't mean I no longer desire those things, I am just thinking rationally & logically before I jump in to something I might not truly be ready for...

I think having opposite gender friends is only as big a deal as the people involved & their partners make it out to be. One good thing about having opposite gender friends is that the friendship could potentially turn into a romantic relationship. I've known various cases of good opposite gender friends becoming couples but I don't know any cases of people cheating on their partners or ending current relationships to be with a good opposite gender friend. I'm talking about good opposite gender friends not cheating or ending relationships & I'm not talking about 'friends' that they very recently met & barely know & probably should not be called 'friends'.

If people avoid having opposite gender friends, Does this also include avoiding friendships with bi & homosexuals of the same gender If that is the case it seems very wrong to me that bi & homosexuals are expected to not have any have friends. As for as myself I don't conform to either gender but I had phases where I felt I was born the wrong gender & there's been some people who assumed I was secretly gay. I've always had very few or no friends at times but when making friends I never cared what gender or sexual orientation they were, I mostly just care if they treat me with respect & decency. I'm not too picky after that.

I think it's up to the couple, if there is one, to take control of the union and stuff the social pressures. If marrying hooks them into the power of the system, as some believe it does, then don't get married, or design your own marriage with your own rules.

Yes, I am in a romantic relationship

I keep saying that marriage is "voluntary imprisonment" and I still 100% believe that but now I realize it's even WORSE than I initially thought!! !

Marriage is imprisonment in 2 different ways:

-Through your partner

&

-Being at the mercy of the government

(hooking them into the power of the system, as you said above)

The whole entire concept is you basically sign up to legally chain yourself to another person until death or divorce

This is done through "love" but sometimes people get married as an excuse to exert control over the other partner and that's when it turns into imprisonment!! !

At this point I want the wedding more than the actual marriage itself

I don't see how the law can help somebody control another through marriage. In the UK one spouse can now dissolve the marriage any time they like. There's a form and a fee of course, but the form is easy and the fee isn't huge. You just declare that the relationship has broken down beyond repair and it doesn't matter what the other spouse says.

I really liked the idea of that kind of 'imprisonment' because I really need to feel secure in my relationships & I'm very protective of my partners & appreciate the same from them. I never liked the idea of a wedding ceremony & would much rather do an elopement thing but I would def go along with the ceremony if the alternative meant not marrying my partner. The reason me & Cass aren't married is because it would screw up her benefits since we're both disabled. However after living together for over 12 years now it feels to me like we are married so I do not feel a need to be but if we would come into some money(like if my parents win the lottery type thing) I'll agree to a wedding ceremony in a herat-beat because I know Cass majorly wants one.

Getting back to the original topic~ I'd be OK with Cass being in person friends with guys or other women(she's pansexual) if I though they were good people. There's a difference between being protective & being jealous. Cass has been majorly hurt & used by 'friends' in the past before we were together & Cass doesn't handle pressure well. If she had friends who treated her well I'd be happy Cass had others to talk to & do activities with besides just me & her family. Cass has some interests I don't have & she kinda needs others to lead her whereas I kinda need to be directed with things so either of us having decent in person friends could be a really good thing regardless which gender they are

I nearly got married. We were so close. The wedding was booked and paid for and everything. But we couldn't have it because we didn't have all the documents. He needed his decree absolute to prove that he was divorced from his previous marriage, but he couldn't find it, and we had to apply for a replacement. We only had a month to do it, and the court was taking forever to send us the replacement, and then the time ran out so the wedding couldn't go ahead. We have the document now, but we're waiting for the refund of the wedding, because £300+ is a lot of money to just lose and to have to find again. Once we get the refund, we can book our wedding again.

Aw sorry mate
Hope you can get it sorted soon

It's funny how marriage matters to some people but not for others
I'm learning something here now
It's not even something I thought about when I was a child

I've always wanted to get married once I met someone I loved, which I have, and we've been together for nearly 11 years now lol. I'm the committed sort, a stay-at-home housewife sort, although in today's society that isn't an option unless you're rich enough to not have to work. I'm not very career-orientated at all. But I'm not marrying for money, as my partner doesn't have money anyway lol. I'm marrying for love, committment, and security I guess. We both are.

That's really something to be proud of that you've found the right person and you're both committed to each other

I don't know if this kind of commitment to relationships is sadly on the decline though

Personally I've found it difficult to find suitable relationships and then I struggle with commitment

I get "friend zoned"
I've literally only just worked that out but that is what happens to me

This sounds lovely, Tamaya.

There is nothing wrong with being the stay-at-home housewife sort, despite what current day capitalism has to say about that.

It sounds like you are marrying for the right reasons.