Where to meet women...

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Where would one such as me go to meet women? I'm 20, go to a college where the male:female ratio is 4:1 (and most of the women there are in their late 20's or even 30's), I avoid bars and clubs as much as I can (due to being uncomfortable in their atmosphere), I still don't trust the idea of online dating, and I spend alot of my time volunteering in a church where nearly all the people that are normally around are either under 18 or older than 40 (other than me and two other guys)...

Coffee houses?

Hi

This is one of the support groups in New Jersey, if they are not local to you I'm sure they will know of group that is:
THIS IS ASPERGER FRIENDS SUPPORT GROUP
http://www.aspergerfriends.com/Asperger ... roups.html

Unfortunately these groups often consist of older adults, but who knows and if not a local support group maybe you could link via them and start a on line chat group in your area for people your age, that way your make friends first.

Also may be worth getting to know some of the woman at college as friends and that may lead to meeting someone else, and you never know via your church group you still may meet someone, who knows who will turn up.

But really at your age, try and meet as many people as you can and make friends, and yes I know how hard this really can be for aspies, maybe join a few quieter clubs at library, chess clubs etc..

I would stop looking for a woman as it never seems to happen when you do, just make friends and let things progress...

LeslieAnn and I always thought coffee houses were a safe place for woman on there own!

At your school, look for clubs and student organizations that appeal to the female population...is there an International Studies
Club? There is a high proportion of females in college majors as International Studies and Psychology and many such clubs may
not be limited to "majors only" and simply in need of members.

Should you do volunteer work in the community you live in...again look for activities that interest young women like organizations that involve working with children, hospital work, nursing homes, etc...

You could volunteer at a different church. Some churches actually have groups for young adults. I applaud you for not choosing to go to bars to meet women. I've read many of your posts and you seem to be a rather kind person. You shouldn't have any trouble finding a person that likes you back.

Book stores are good places. Getting a small, cute dog and frequently walking it in the park is a GREAT way to meet women. You could also volunteer at an animal rescue.

One note about this: don't loiter around, get too close to women without clear permission, or otherwise act like you're there for any reason but the dog. Predators are real, they often hang out in parks, and you don't want to be mistaken for one.

In my experience, if you have the right dog you don't have to loiter, just walk with your puppy and women will approach you

Yes. I know that's what you're saying. But I've seen the other approach often enough to feel it was worth warning against.

take a Women's studies class. some satisfy GE req.

Instead of just randomly trying to meet any woman you can get your mitts on (who you almost certainly won't be compatible with), why don't you let things take as they come. You'd be surprised how things might work out. And if it doesn't then there's always plenty more shots to be taken.

Good point.

I'm in a similar situation... it's not easy. Best advice I have heard is to participate in what you enjoy, and hopefully you'll meet someone. If you don't, at least you are doing something you like.

I agree with Space and whoever gave him that advice...

I have met women as study partners from classes (studying in groups outside of class).
I've never dated any of them though... just had some nice talks.

There is one woman who seems very nice to me at a local coffee shop, but I don't know how to read her 'niceness'.
She works there, by the way.
She seems to have this different sort of smile when I get to see and talk to her, and there's something about the way her face looks too. She definitely looks younger than me but I can't imagine she's interested in me as more than 'the guy who wears kilts'! ... sort of an interesting anomoly?

The only women I have met and dated were women I work with... and that's been a grand total of three.
The other one was my high school girlfriend and we met because we were both in the German club.

There are three women here who I PM fairly often and we seem to get along alright just from online though.
I've never dated online either so I couldn't say anything about that.

So, I guess my suggestions would echo the others.

Can you get a job or volunteer some time at the school's library?
You might find yourself in a position to help out some of the ladies at school and in that way, get to know them better.

Alot of people have been suggesting library or finding majors that women tend to go to (like psychology). The main problem with that is that I go to, for all intents and purposes, a tech school (although it is an accredited university), and as such, there is no psychology major or international studies major (part of the reason there's so few women around). The women that spend their time in the library are usually the type of people who try to be overachievers and as such would have little time for social interaction to begin with, and as I am an IT student, I probably wouldn't be able to help them in their field or vice versa.

Thing is, I've grown up in this church, and I even kind of owe my life to them as the people there are what kept me from killing myself as a teenager. Also, the church itself is a traditional church, and for me switching from that to some contemporary church (which is what attracts most young adults) would mean a change in atmosphere that I just wouldn't be able to handle...

[quote="sands]I applaud you for not choosing to go to bars to meet women. I've read many of your posts and you seem to be a rather kind person. You shouldn't have any trouble finding a person that likes you back.[/quote]
And for the most part I have no problems making friends, especially when compared with other aspies (again the atmosphere my church provides is a great help). But for the most part, women don't tend to have any romantic interest in me, and, as I've said many times before, it takes at least a month for me to develop any attraction towards someone else.

I can relate. I am a Lutheran, and it seems like all the young adults are flocking to the Baptist and Pentecostal churches.

I don't know about the Baptist churches, but the Pentecostal churches often have pastors that talk loudly in their sermons, to the point of yelling and screaming. Loud noises are the one sensory issue I have yet to overcome.

Plus I don't really agree with the ideology of most evangelicals.