being single at times drives me mad

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Starscream
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28 Jan 2008, 4:36 pm

being single as most peeps on here will know is more or less the way AS goes, to tell the truth i do swear that near enough all girls just seem to avoid me like the black death dispite me being polite(not in a coming on way) i swear it takes getting "knighted" with a ASBO to get girls even remotely intrested in ya in the UK, since it seems that most girls(in me area) just seem to go for total utter idiots, probs hence why me search for a girl as kinda gone up in smoke, i dont know i just seem doomed to being single for the rest of me days, plus i guess being a total geek makes finding a girl a pain also

sorry for the rant just needed to get something off me chest


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LVBen
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28 Jan 2008, 5:39 pm

Starscream wrote:
being single as most peeps on here will know is more or less the way AS goes, to tell the truth i do swear that near enough all girls just seem to avoid me like the black death dispite me being polite(not in a coming on way) i swear it takes getting "knighted" with a ASBO to get girls even remotely intrested in ya in the UK, since it seems that most girls(in me area) just seem to go for total utter idiots, probs hence why me search for a girl as kinda gone up in smoke, i dont know i just seem doomed to being single for the rest of me days, plus i guess being a total geek makes finding a girl a pain also

sorry for the rant just needed to get something off me chest



Well, if you look at the rest of animal world, you will see some interesting mating patterns! In most animals, it is not the smartest male that gets the females. In many birds, it is the most colorful male or the loudest male that gets the females. In many animals, it is the male that dominates the other males with brute force and intimidation that gets the females. In some animals, it is the male that is most able to provide basic needs to offspring. In some animals, it is the male that has the most persistence.

You could argue that humans only evolved to this level of intelligence because of our ancestors seeking the most intelligent mates, but it may be different now. Intelligence may still be play a big part in attracting mates, but it seems that there are a lot of different attributes that different women seek, and many are similar to what you find in other animals. Some women go for the guys that wear lots of jewelry and have lots of tattoos or wear very flashy and colorful clothes. Some women go for the strong guys. Some women go for the rich/powerful guys. Some women go for the loud guys.

I can't think of any animals that pick the quietest mate or the mate that is hard to communicate with. Geez, most female animals won't even know that the male exists unless he is making noise, starting fights, or has bright attractive colors that can be seen from far away. Aspies are usually quiet, so in order for an Aspie to find a mate, he/she may have to work very hard at it. You have to: gain attention in front of the opposite sex; display power; get money and show it off; be persistent; stand up for yourself; and be heard!



koadah
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28 Jan 2008, 5:49 pm

Maybe those are just the wrong girls.

If they would prefer an idiot with an ASBO why would you want them anyway?

There are plenty of good people though they may not get out and about so much.



LVBen
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28 Jan 2008, 5:54 pm

koadah wrote:
If they would prefer an idiot with an ASBO why would you want them anyway?


That's the kind of attitude that makes very eligible people single. There is no such thing as a soul mate and there are no perfect people. In order to have any relationship, you have to put up with some things that you don't like! You have to figure out what you want in a mate and you have to be reasonable or you will be continue being single.



dark_mage
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28 Jan 2008, 11:03 pm

You also have to take a good look at your life right now and say are you ready to handle a relationship because it will not just affect you but the person you are with.



ToadOfSteel
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28 Jan 2008, 11:25 pm

LVBen wrote:
That's the kind of attitude that makes very eligible people single. There is no such thing as a soul mate and there are no perfect people. In order to have any relationship, you have to put up with some things that you don't like! You have to figure out what you want in a mate and you have to be reasonable or you will be continue being single.


I can understand the concept of nobody being perfect, or concessions made in relationships; such is life. What I can't possibly believe is that there is no such thing as a soul mate...



Yoshie777
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28 Jan 2008, 11:29 pm

Being single can drive me nuts as well. But, I try to put my conscience before my drives. I want a girlfriend so badly, but I know better than to hit it off right away. I've seen too much of it.


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LePetitPrince
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29 Jan 2008, 2:20 am

LVBen wrote:
Starscream wrote:
being single as most peeps on here will know is more or less the way AS goes, to tell the truth i do swear that near enough all girls just seem to avoid me like the black death dispite me being polite(not in a coming on way) i swear it takes getting "knighted" with a ASBO to get girls even remotely intrested in ya in the UK, since it seems that most girls(in me area) just seem to go for total utter idiots, probs hence why me search for a girl as kinda gone up in smoke, i dont know i just seem doomed to being single for the rest of me days, plus i guess being a total geek makes finding a girl a pain also

sorry for the rant just needed to get something off me chest



Well, if you look at the rest of animal world, you will see some interesting mating patterns! In most animals, it is not the smartest male that gets the females. In many birds, it is the most colorful male or the loudest male that gets the females. In many animals, it is the male that dominates the other males with brute force and intimidation that gets the females. In some animals, it is the male that is most able to provide basic needs to offspring. In some animals, it is the male that has the most persistence.

You could argue that humans only evolved to this level of intelligence because of our ancestors seeking the most intelligent mates, but it may be different now. Intelligence may still be play a big part in attracting mates, but it seems that there are a lot of different attributes that different women seek, and many are similar to what you find in other animals. Some women go for the guys that wear lots of jewelry and have lots of tattoos or wear very flashy and colorful clothes. Some women go for the strong guys. Some women go for the rich/powerful guys. Some women go for the loud guys.

I can't think of any animals that pick the quietest mate or the mate that is hard to communicate with. Geez, most female animals won't even know that the male exists unless he is making noise, starting fights, or has bright attractive colors that can be seen from far away. Aspies are usually quiet, so in order for an Aspie to find a mate, he/she may have to work very hard at it. You have to: gain attention in front of the opposite sex; display power; get money and show it off; be persistent; stand up for yourself; and be heard!


+100000
A true aspie analysis which is a true analysis based on logic and science , far from the pinky shiny illusionist world.



LePetitPrince
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29 Jan 2008, 2:22 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
LVBen wrote:
That's the kind of attitude that makes very eligible people single. There is no such thing as a soul mate and there are no perfect people. In order to have any relationship, you have to put up with some things that you don't like! You have to figure out what you want in a mate and you have to be reasonable or you will be continue being single.


I can understand the concept of nobody being perfect, or concessions made in relationships; such is life. What I can't possibly believe is that there is no such thing as a soul mate...


Oh you again .....you ....you still stuck in a pinky glassy world! There's no such thing as soul mate , you must get over this belief.



Wilco
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29 Jan 2008, 9:59 am

I have a question to everybody who thinks there is a soul mate and has asperger. you have asperger, that means this person will have to adapt a little. so you are not 100% perfect for your soulmate. Why do you expect your soul mate to be 100% perfect for you? Look for someone you like, look for someone you want to share your life with. and go for it. even if he/she isn't perfect. don't you ALL know that nobody is perfect? Nothing that isn't worth fighting for will come to you on it's own. And being with someone you love is defenitly worth fighting for!



lovebat
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30 Jan 2008, 7:19 am

Wilco wrote:
I have a question to everybody who thinks there is a soul mate and has asperger. you have asperger, that means this person will have to adapt a little. so you are not 100% perfect for your soulmate. Why do you expect your soul mate to be 100% perfect for you? Look for someone you like, look for someone you want to share your life with. and go for it. even if he/she isn't perfect. don't you ALL know that nobody is perfect? Nothing that isn't worth fighting for will come to you on it's own. And being with someone you love is defenitly worth fighting for!


I disagree with your assumption that nobody is perfect. I maintain the view that I am in fact, PERFECT. But my time here on the computer at the public library is just about up, and I don't want to miss my bus to get me home to my van down by the river.:wink:



ToadOfSteel
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30 Jan 2008, 10:09 am

Wilco wrote:
I have a question to everybody who thinks there is a soul mate and has asperger. you have asperger, that means this person will have to adapt a little. so you are not 100% perfect for your soulmate. Why do you expect your soul mate to be 100% perfect for you? Look for someone you like, look for someone you want to share your life with. and go for it. even if he/she isn't perfect. don't you ALL know that nobody is perfect? Nothing that isn't worth fighting for will come to you on it's own. And being with someone you love is defenitly worth fighting for!


You're confusing the concept of "soul mate" and "perfect"...

There is no such thing as perfect. It simply does not exist in this universe. The closer you get to it, the harder it is to get any closer (similar concept to the speed of light)

A soul mate, on the other hand, is merely that one person out there you can spend the rest of your life with. It has nothing to do with "perfection"... many couples out there that proclaim themselves to have "soul mate" status are just as rife with argument as any other relationship, they just won't leave each other because there happened to be a few bumps along the way. There are many relationships out there that weather such bumps in the road and continue on... in fact, divorce is practically unheard of in my extended family. That is why I can't believe that there's no such thing as a soul mate.

Of course, many people (like some of you here) have this distorted view to the contrary, believing that finding such a person would fix all the problems that you may have had in previous relationships. I'm not going to lie about this. Even if you are in a relationship with a "soul mate", you still have to work at it. Such a relationship can still fail if not properly maintained.

But to say that there isn't someone out there that one can have a stable, lifelong relationship with is just absurd.



MikeInVa
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30 Jan 2008, 11:02 am

LVBen wrote:
Starscream wrote:
being single as most peeps on here will know is more or less the way AS goes, to tell the truth i do swear that near enough all girls just seem to avoid me like the black death dispite me being polite(not in a coming on way) i swear it takes getting "knighted" with a ASBO to get girls even remotely intrested in ya in the UK, since it seems that most girls(in me area) just seem to go for total utter idiots, probs hence why me search for a girl as kinda gone up in smoke, i dont know i just seem doomed to being single for the rest of me days, plus i guess being a total geek makes finding a girl a pain also

sorry for the rant just needed to get something off me chest



Well, if you look at the rest of animal world, you will see some interesting mating patterns! In most animals, it is not the smartest male that gets the females. In many birds, it is the most colorful male or the loudest male that gets the females. In many animals, it is the male that dominates the other males with brute force and intimidation that gets the females. In some animals, it is the male that is most able to provide basic needs to offspring. In some animals, it is the male that has the most persistence.

You could argue that humans only evolved to this level of intelligence because of our ancestors seeking the most intelligent mates, but it may be different now. Intelligence may still be play a big part in attracting mates, but it seems that there are a lot of different attributes that different women seek, and many are similar to what you find in other animals. Some women go for the guys that wear lots of jewelry and have lots of tattoos or wear very flashy and colorful clothes. Some women go for the strong guys. Some women go for the rich/powerful guys. Some women go for the loud guys.

I can't think of any animals that pick the quietest mate or the mate that is hard to communicate with. Geez, most female animals won't even know that the male exists unless he is making noise, starting fights, or has bright attractive colors that can be seen from far away. Aspies are usually quiet, so in order for an Aspie to find a mate, he/she may have to work very hard at it. You have to: gain attention in front of the opposite sex; display power; get money and show it off; be persistent; stand up for yourself; and be heard!


Ahh yes,that may be true in the animal kingdom but those "lower life forms" don't have to worry about the things we humans have invented such as money,cars,a nice place to live etc. Let's face it the first thing a girl is looking for in her potential mate is what's in his wallet(and I'm not talking about trojans here) as well as what's in his garage/driveway & if you don't have either of those things to start with,well then you're just SOL in the dating/mating game.



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30 Jan 2008, 12:17 pm

I think its high time for a stickied rant thread: Single and Hating it! :lol:



LVBen
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30 Jan 2008, 2:48 pm

MikeInVa wrote:
Ahh yes,that may be true in the animal kingdom but those "lower life forms" don't have to worry about the things we humans have invented such as money,cars,a nice place to live etc. Let's face it the first thing a girl is looking for in her potential mate is what's in his wallet(and I'm not talking about trojans here) as well as what's in his garage/driveway & if you don't have either of those things to start with,well then you're just SOL in the dating/mating game.



No, other animals don't have money or cars, but they have similar things. Some females birds look for the male with the best nest.

Most guys have two choices:
1. Work hard to acquire the things that many women want - money, muscles, fancy cars, education, power, etc. and then find a woman.
2. Be alone.

If a male can't appeal to females, then why shouldn't he be single?



LePetitPrince
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30 Jan 2008, 3:48 pm

^^^ +100000.
At last , some user who really understands the nature of human relationships.