Not Sure What To Do

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I firmly believe my emotional maturity is stuck at around 16 years old, while I am actually over 40. I am growing attracted to someone in my socializing meet-up group, and have absolutely no idea what to do next. So many, many times, I have taken the initiative, only to be misunderstood, or have things get away from me, get out of control, etc. Or not taken initiative, and then lost the opportunity. I am getting the impression this guy might find me attractive, because I catch him looking at me a lot. And yet, in past experiences, I have caught looks that I later found out, actually meant, "What a weird chick!" Due to my poor face reading skills, I have absolutely no concrete proof that there's a reason to get my hopes up!

I am trying to move away from childish "Crushes" and am wanting to try actual dating. Since this is a group for Shy people, I don't know if he would say something to me, or not. Also, he is younger than I, which might create a barrier. I have never felt so at a loss. It's like trying to socialize with my eyes covered, in a macabre game of blind man's bluff. But I feel a genuine attraction, and would appreciate insights from other Aspies.

I'm not an aspie, but I wish you lots of luck. I find it hard to talk to people too and sometimes I don't read what is really going on. I'm 41 and I still don't have it figured out. I'll think things are one way when in fact they are totally different. It's frustrating to say the least.

His looking at you could mean a lot of things, but if he`s really shy and interested in you, he might not look at you that much for fear of discovery. If he looks at you a lot, it could just be lust. I think you should just get to know him better, and see if he appreciates you as a person. If he is interested in you, you should be able to tell from his conversation and your instincts.

He might be into "weird"

If its a group for shy people then you know you will have to go on the aggressive.


You have the experience of messing things up before so draw on that and do the opposite.

Just say hi.