Was this the right thing to do?

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So there was a girl who I liked a lot and wanted to be "more than friends" with her. But it became appearant that she wasn't interested in me "like that." I have enough friends, it's a relationship that I'm lacking. So I stopped wasting my time on her and I won't see her anymore, not even as a friend.

I know this must seem very "shallow," but I see it as practical. I must protect my emotions from frustrating situations.

It's not very nice for her, but I guess you have to protect your emotions. If it is just too painful to be around her, then you might be doing the right thing. If it isn't, then I can't see how someone could have too many friends. Do what you feel is right.

I'm in a similar situation myself, and I'm sticking it out until she changes her mind.

Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Remember Lester Burnham from American Beauty? "I think you just became my personal hero."

I think the true test as to whether or not you mean anything to her is not to contact her at all, and see if she contacts you for any reason. I'm betting that nine times out of ten girls like this won't. Unless, of course, you've made this known to her.

I was going out with her about twice a week. She told me that she liked me a lot, but never displayed much affection. I know I'm rather dense (it's the Aspergers) so I had told her more than once that if she really liked me she needed to show me.... hold my hand or *gasp* kiss me.... because I would never initiate anything. After a month nothing had happened. I might be autistic but I can add 2 + 2.

I've stopped contacting her. I haven't seen her in more than 3 weeks. She was IMing me for a while, asking when we would get together next. I would make up excuses to avoid dates. Her IMing slowed down over time. Just the other day she IMed me saying "Hey whats up, you never talk anymore." I let myself go idle (on AIM) instead of replying.

I think I have done what is best for myself. Do I owe her an explaination? I think that I should explain myself, but it'll be hard to do ***ANXIETY****

I don't think you owe her anything. She'd probably be happier knowing why you quit talking, but she might also be hurt or angry and walk away calling you shallow. It really depends on her personality, how forgiving and understanding she is. But I wouldn't suggest forcing yourself to tell her if you think she'd take it badly.

If you think you need it for the closure, or out of sheer curiosity as to what her response would be then do it. I don't think you 'owe' it to her unless she confronts you about it IRL.

I had friend girl that just she wanted to. I wanted more too. She got engaged but when it was not working out she came back to me. I told her it was either him or me, she choose him. So thats how it goes for me too.......................................................................................

I think you should give her a chance. Just because she's busy now doesn't mean she'll be busy later.

That doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't like you. She might be shy, or have social anxiety, or she might even be autistic. It's possible.

She's a bit odd perhaps, but I'm sure she is neurotypical.

She rarely IMs me anymore. So if she ever did really like me, I've effectively killed those feelings with my "cold shouldering."

What exactly did she feel for me? I can't read minds so this will go unanswered.

This whole scenario has made me more pessimistic of the future. Will I ever be capable of forming or maintaning a relationship? My experiences point to NO. Maybe if I was aggressive and didn't mind invading someone's personal space I would be more successful.

I can say that that doesn't really work... not exactly 'from experience' but I have experimented with the idea in the past: the girl will more or less treat you like you would expect her to treat someone who is being an A-hole.

I don't understand why they don't for NT guys... at this point I am convinced that some NTs could wave a swastika around and have girls screaming "Oh take me, you savage beast!"

beleive me for me at least this is not the case, if someone behaves like a right pr*t i will treat them as such until they prove me otherwise, you know by suddenly growing a brain or example.

i don't take people treating me with any less respect than they would want for themselves and if they don't like this well then try making an effort!

in no way am i saying that lowfreq was wrong in what he did, but if you feel that you need to explain the way you've behaved it may be best to tell her that you simply did not know what to think about how she felt because she was reluctant to show you.


baby

Dear Low,
Just wanted to let you know that I'm here to talk to if you want to talk more about it.
Mellow