What Is Your Most Successful Way of Finding A Girlfriend?

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Silver_Meteor
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28 Apr 2008, 8:00 am

For me, I have always used those singles ads in the newspaper.


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aspergian_mutant
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28 Apr 2008, 8:10 am

A Girl friend or a mate?

My best advice is this,

get visible doing things in life YOU enjoy,
let the girl find you if they take interest, they are less likely to run away.
secondly, build that dream home of yours, they like that,
its kind of a nest egg thing, shows your independent and stable and know what you want.
not only that but it will make them want to work harder on the relationship
because it would be them that would have to leave not you if the relationship ends,
they will find them selves actualy having to work on the relationship and not just give you the boot
or they will be the ones losing out.
lastly, the success rate of aspies of finding a mate let alone a girl friend is low,
so don't worry about it, take care of your own world first and hope the rest will naturally follow.



MagicMike
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28 Apr 2008, 11:42 am

Love is only as eternal as your wallet.



Social_Fantom
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28 Apr 2008, 1:06 pm

I just become friends with a girl and let it happen if there can ever be anything between us.


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GoatOnFire
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28 Apr 2008, 1:08 pm

Try digging around in a graveyard. I'm sure you'll find one.


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jason_b1980
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28 Apr 2008, 1:42 pm

I don't know about everybody else, but I am better at meeting people in person (1 on 1) than I am on personals, or anything else. They tend to ignore or reject me unless they meet me in person.

Work can be a good place to meet people, but if you are around them everyday, that might be a bad idea. Maybe try someone from a different dept.?

Also, I tend to think that you will have the best chance with the ones that chase you.



Cyanide
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28 Apr 2008, 2:31 pm

For me?
Dumb luck.



Willard
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28 Apr 2008, 3:03 pm

jason_b1980 wrote:
I tend to think that you will have the best chance with the ones that chase you.


:wink: Snoogans.



Caravaggio
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28 Apr 2008, 4:41 pm

Willard wrote:
jason_b1980 wrote:
I tend to think that you will have the best chance with the ones that chase you.


:wink: Snoogans.


Snootch to the nootch.

If only they would chase me.



jrandom
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28 Apr 2008, 5:03 pm

Some concrete suggestions, in order of likelihood to work:

Meeting people through mutual friends: Probably the best way, the most natural type of social interaction to begin with (as opposed to trying to find a complete stranger to start dating), everyone's relaxed, and you don't have to break the ice nearly as much, can get tricky if you get rejected and have to be around them with friends at a later point though.

Atypical places that are relaxed, non-threatening environments (opposed to bars and the like) where you're likely to see someone by themselves where you can interact/flirt with them one-on-one, without the pressure of other people being around are good, and there's no downside if they reject you, because you probably won't see them again, bookstores, farmers' markets, that sort of thing.

People at work/classmates are a bit more difficult to make the first move with than mutual friends, because it's a more formal social setting. and you have to deal with office gossip in the case of offices, especially if you get rejected.

Probably depends on the area you live in, but usually single people at bars/clubs nowadays are just looking for a one-night stand, so not really the best place to find "girlfriend" material. Actually, the whole bar scene is more trouble than it's worth, usually you're not meeting people one-on-one, they are there with their friends, and that's not necessarily a good dynamic to begin with, e.g. people might pretend to flirt with you if they notice you're a bit "off" body-language-wise because their friends get a laugh out of it, etc.

Online dating: Avoid it; you're just scraping the bottom of the barrel, although that might be good for "practice dates" with people you're not really that attracted to, if you can find a few. It's awkward to back out of those situations sometimes, but the online dating culture is such that it's easy to blow people off, because you're essentially on an anonymous blind date, if you only give them your first name (and you could even make one up, if you really don't want them to know who you are, but that's a bit overkill).

It's really a numbers game, so you have to get out there, which is easier said than done. Also, it's easier to be more social the more disposable income you have.



BigK
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28 Apr 2008, 5:25 pm

Silver_Meteor wrote:
For me, I have always used those singles ads in the newspaper.


I found those very successful.

It helps that I live in a huge city though.

Ads can be expensive but some are free.

Ads must be well worded. They must describe you as you are, not as you think people would want you to be.