How to deal with excessive jealousy and possessiveness?

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My current boyfriend is very jealous and possessive. I'm not sure what to do with it all. I've been in two past bad relationships with jealousy and possessiveness being majour horrible components, and so I am worried that this relationship is heading towards disaster.

From the start he wanted to know very early on where I saw the relationship heading - I felt it was way too soon to be talking about that, he started telling me he loved me and asking me if I love him... then he started talking about me moving in with him - something I was not totally averse to - just thought it was way too early to be considering (and I have told him repeatedly that I'm not ready for that which he gets sulky and angry with me for not giving him a yes answer and he accuses me of not loving him), then he started talking about marriage - way way way too early to be talking about & I let him know that I don't want to consider marrying anyone until a couple of years into the relationship as I've been badly hurt in my previous marriage and need to move slowly, he's asked me so many times if I have a guy at my house and made comments to that affect (accusing me of having another boyfriend or of cheating on him - which hurts you know because I am very loyal and I don't even have any male friends so I can't see how he could think this could happen), and one time he accused me of having a boyfriend on the side and that I was planning on fleecing him (which is ridiculous - both things ridiculous!). Then just the other day he "tested" me (in his own words) using a new mobile number to see if I was cheating on him - I was very upset that he did this, and did not speak with him for two days and wouldn't answer his phone calls or reply to his texts - I was hurt and confused. And then he's telling me how much he loves me and he only asks because he loves me so much and wants me to be his wife one day and so on and so on...
We've broken up three times - once by myself because I couldn't handle his behaviour any more (he cried and cried for me to get back with him and threatened suicide and told me of his undying love for me over and over), the second two times he broke up with me saying that he couldn't handle not knowing where I was going or who I was seeing so he just wanted to go back to being friends (which is stupid because I don't try to hide who I talk to or where I go - he calls all the time anyway so he knows what I'm doing most of the time) - which he negated anyway because he proceeded to call me the next day both times and told me how he wants to marry me and he wants me to have his kids. He can be so nasty in one moment, and then so "loving" the next.
I thought one was suppossed to trust the other partner in a relationship??? I trust him, but he doesn't trust me to be faithful to him - I'm a very loyal person, even to my own hurt - but like he says he can't trust anyone, not even me, especially as he likes to tell me, because I live so far away from him and he doesn't know what I'm doing... Isn't trust fundamental to a relationship? Besides, he wouldn't like it if I were to check up on him all the time, or behave the way he does towards me, so why the double standard?
I've been wanting to dump him, and every time he goes on with his s**t I want to dump him even more, but what do I do? He draws me back with his charm and the time I dumped him became so horrible that he wore me down. I don't know what to do with this all, I've tried telling him that I can't cope with his jealous and possessive behaviour, but he just excuses it all the time. How do I deal with it all? What do I do?

Get out and stay out. If he tries to charm you, remind yourself of why you left in the first place. Attempting to control another human's behaviour is wrong and scary. Threatening suicide when someone leaves is emotional blackmail and despicable behaviour. Saying that he loves you is just an excuse: people do not treat people who they love in such a manner. Partnership is not ownership, and possessiveness is not love.

if you stay with him, be careful not to enable his jelousy in any way.

For example with my ex who was very jelous, he would accuse me of haveing affairs with the man in the local shop so to make my bf happy I would not go in the shop. This was wrong and was enableing, I should have stood my ground and said it was ridiculous and insisted on going in the shop.

So make sure you dont change your behaviour to please him and just dismiss his jelous acusations as ridiculous, that way you do not reinforse or reward his behaviour, if he is going to stop he will only do so if there is no pay off. Also try rewarding him with reasureance and loving statements when he is being reasonable and nice, often people learn to make these demands as its a sure fire way to get lots of reasureance and strong statements of love, so change it round give him no reward for jelously and lots of reward for being nice.

Run, run like the wind

that guy sounds like he has some issues and a relationship like that can turn abusive.
he sounds like he needs some counceling I dont think he's a safe person for you to be with from what you've said dont let him manipulate you get out now you'll definately find something better.

I would already be gone. This will not get better. It will get worse.

Leave and don't contact him again. Block his number, delete him from any social networking sites and tell any mutual friends why you are dumping him and ask them to help keep him away from you.

If you let down your guard at all, he will wheedle his way back into the relationship and the cycle will just contiue.

He deserves pity, but that's all. You don't owe him friendship or anything else and if he wants to threaten suicide, leave him to it. He's a grown man and should learn to deal with his own issues. Look after your own health and get out!

definitely break up and never go back. i agree with Who_Am_I that partnership is not ownership, and possessiveness is not love. tell your guy the above and then tell him if he threatens suicide again, you will call the police and have him detained for suicide evaluation. i would get a restraining order, if i were you. he sounds completely mentally unstable and frightening. definitely stalker material.

STAY AWAY FROM HIM. End the relationship ASAP (don't feel obliged to tell him - in fact, it'd be safer not to), block and ignore any and all contact. He sounds dangerous and incredibly bad news. I agree with ptown: don't be afraid to involve the police.

If I were you I'd leave him.

Doesn't look like there's much to resolve.

This guy sounds like a classic, stereotypical sociopath. He will never be able to trust you and he will always have egoistical intentions. Despite whatever he says.

He might not realize it himself, but he's lying about saying he's loving you. He is using the statement, and others like it, as tools against you to get what he wants, because he has learned they have an impact on the way people respond.
Sociopaths and psychopaths never realize what love really is, and will continually demonstrate this kind of possessive behavior till the end of time.

Get the hell out!

This guy is a SERIOUS PROBLEM. Sounds like the kind that won't take no for an answer. This behavior seems somewhat narcissistic.

So yeah, I concur with the above. Get out while you can.

As said already. Run, as fast as you can and don't look back. This will not end well if you stay.