Finding dates/interest on campus

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I was going to say there aren't all that many people from Dublin on these dating sites, but I tried plentyoffish just to be sure and well what can I say, I was wrong. It's kind of annoying how the most interesting-looking women I'm seeing there so far are all looking for older men, though.

I just signed up to that site too, it's a good one. Alot of profiles for my area. Thanks Space!

I wont hold out much hope though, I don't usually have any luck with dating sites.

I'd be more interested in finding people in college or thereabouts to be honest, but beggars can't be choosers. I guess I should leave that option open.

I am not sure if I was misunderstood or what. But I assure you I do not just take info from peoples sites. That's creepy. What I do do is talk to girls.

It is not creepy when someone comes up to you and says hi. What is creepy is when the person stays and talks about their pets while eating a orange with the peel on.

If you understand body language enough, and if you are interesting enough, you will most likely get something from her.

A lot of girls are nice. And these same girls will chat with you for a long time.

I find that is what I am, very interesting to talk to. But in the long haul I can't find a girlfriend because I am too needy. The things I want don't exist. I know this and slowly but surely am coming to terms with that.

Just go up and tell a girl you are new to campus and want to get to know people. Then continue to tell her that in your experience hot girls have hot friends. And then continue by telling her that being a math major is an investment in your retirement plan. Tell her when you graduate and start making multiple numbers financially you plan to invest in European trades. And then finally let her know you will be retired by age 45. She might eat it up...she might not.

But you never know till you try...lying can be fun ha-ha.

This thread is bumped for reference because I'm in my final year now and feel under a lot of pressure.

Oh, and I'm not going to lie about myself or anything like that. Actually I'm not sure how I'd treat it apart from an attempt to start an honest friendship, just with another intention in mind.

One thing I can tell you is that you'll probably want to hold off on telling any woman you're a math major until she gets to know you; otherwise she'll probably prejudge you as the uninteresting, nerdy type.

I've seen faces scrunch up over that before and it's frustrating. Well, if said girl asks me what course I'm doing I don't really have much choice and that's a common enough question to ask. All I have going for me is that my honours thesis is not really mathematics.

You don't need to go to campus to find girlfriends. I'm about 45 minutes commute from my campus (up to an hour in traffic), and the campus I go to has a 4:1 male to female ratio to boot. Granted, the number of new women I meet is very low, but the few other women that are left behind tend to be the more down-to-earth and/or mature type, and probably more open to aspies (although often such women that stay behind are also working full-time jobs, so finding time can be a problem)...

I'm not sure I'd have much in common with someone who doesn't go to college at all. The male to female ratio in the arts faculty is roughly even if not tipped towards females, it's the science faculty where the women are in the minority.

Is mathematics your sole interest? Personally, I'm going to college as an IT student, and I've found people in my other interests (music and musical theater, both of which are heavily tipped towards females)...

I dated someone on campus. It was a girl. Biggest mistake I've *ever* made. This is because (and I'm probably just speaking for myself here... ) I tend to hide from people who have rejected me. If you date someone in college, especially if you're going back to that college, and she is too, you're going to keep running into your ex. If you think you can handle running into someone you (might) have been intimate wih, someone you've had feelings for, etc. etc. etc. and still harbor those feelings (IE, you're not over them) while still running into them, they I'd say go for a relationship in college.
If not, I'd search for someone outside college. Someone who will have to visit you. This is the best type of relationship for me. Why? Because if things don't work out, you never have to see them again. It gives you much-desired space to get over someone.

Just my two cents

I don't think it'd be so terrible seeing them every now and then if things didn't work out (having faced rejection a few times myself), but if they were in my class it might be a bit difficult. I'd mostly be looking for women who don't attend any of my classes, but I'm in my final year so I wouldn't rule them out either. I don't feel like I have much to lose at this stage, but I often am unsure how to (say) start conversations or maintain interest at an optimal level which has made me hesitate on occasion.

Last edited by Hector on 18 Oct 2008, 5:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

I can keep up a great discussion about rock music with most people who are interested but I don't play an instrument or listen to much classical music which limits me quite a bit with actual music students.

My other interests are primarily linguistics, history and philosophy. I have what you could call a passing interest in writing and English literature but at the moment it is casual at best.

Best advice I have heard is to NOT put pressure on yourself or be desperate, because this will make it even harder for you to meet a girl. I think having AS, we need to make baby steps to getting this stuff to happen, which is usually widening our social circles. Try and join a bunch of groups on campus or in the community to meet people, and don't focus on meeting a girl. Sooner or later, your number should come up. I am in my last year too, and am trying to do this. I think the key to eventually getting a girl is to taken a medium approach to it. IE, don't say "I don't care, so I won't do anything" or "I have to do everything I can to meet a girl or my life is s**t".... just say, " I am going to take steps and make incremental changes in my life so that I can meet a girl, and if it doesn't happen right away that's ok". I also find it very hard to get dates... but the extreme attitudes on either side aren't helpful. At the end of the day you are the most important person, and there is someone waiting for you (this is what people have told me).

I could post more about my anxieties with the opposite sex here but it wouldn't do anything, would it? It seems more of an impulse/addiction on my part to look for advice by now, since I've convinced myself that there's probably still something wrong in the way I come across to people.

Anyway I have three weeks left of college after my holiday. I count maybe 20 girls I'm interested in, most of which are taken. I guess it's unlikely I'll get anything out of this situation.