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pinkbowtiepumps
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28 Apr 2008, 3:24 pm

I have three guys to choose between... I've never been in this situation before, so I don't know what to do!

one of them is shy and really sweet. He likes bugs a lot, is fascinated by little details and a lot of strange ideas. I suspect he may be an Aspie as well. I do like him, and I love hearing how he views everything, but I'm worried that things may get a bit awkward since we're both two very quiet people...

another one is EXTREMELY attractive, but I've been told that he's a bit full of himself. He's also inconsistent with his attempts to hang out with me. He'll call me Wednesday and say we should plan something on Friday night, but friday passes and he calls again Saturday. This really bothers me!

the last one is really funny, he's a male version of me pretty much, except he's really talkative! We joke around - we're both very silly, and he seems to be making a lot of attempts to hang out with me. He's just a lot of fun, and I have a really good feeling about us being friends. I'm worried though because there's a possibility that he may be a little fake (though it's too early to tell). I also know for a fact that his best friend liked me a little while ago, and I'm friends with him too, so I don't want anything to get awkward between all of us or between them.

So yeah... what should I do? I'm kind of leaning toward the last guy, but any opinions?



ToadOfSteel
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28 Apr 2008, 3:42 pm

First one. If you think that someone is coming off as fake, then they probably aren't in your best interests for any relationship. (unless you're just looking for a casual sex relationship, in which case go with number 2)



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28 Apr 2008, 3:42 pm

There's nothing wrong with going out on a date with all three (not at the same time). See which date you like the most.


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MissConstrue
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29 Apr 2008, 1:33 am

Ever heard of open dating?

Unless you've gotten serious with one or all of them. The last one you said comes off as fake? I would go by your gut sense and maybe remain friends with him, don't date a guy just because you want to make them happy.

Also, it sounds like you have 4th guy that has a crush on you? Maybe you're not ready to pick between the muskateers. Just try the open dating and see how it goes from there. If one of them can't respect that, they probably won't respect how you feel in a serious relationship.


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computerlove
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29 Apr 2008, 2:15 am

good looks will fade with time, so I'd take #2 out.

I'd go with the male version of you :)


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LePetitPrince
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29 Apr 2008, 2:53 am

Your case is a fine example of the natural selection in the serial monogamy system.

Pick the best one, the alpha male among these three. You'll regret later if you don't and the beta will live misery with you because you are unconsciously going to compare him with this alpha each time you get upset of him.
How to detect the alpha? You are a girl , you should know better.

You can make a comparison table to make things easier , put scores to each one of them for looks, wealth, success, confidence, personality.... and pick the one with highest score, the alpha male. I witnessed a girl did that before and it's quite helpful.

Unlike the popular belief ,love is very logical. If illogical love exists or 'love from first sight' exists you wouldn't even post this thread.



MissConstrue
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29 Apr 2008, 3:08 am

^The wee prince is at it again.


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LePetitPrince
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29 Apr 2008, 3:17 am

correction: I am the Wii prince or the big wee-wee prince :P



amaren
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29 Apr 2008, 5:00 am

The third definitely sounds like the best choice - number one sounds really good too, but I'm inclined to forgive number three for seeming fake because being around someone you have a crush on can make you sound nervous and forced, so my guess is that three is more likely to get less fake than one is to get less shy. Two is at best a nice ego boost, but not worth thinking hard about.

It's three's job to check with his best friend that it's ok to date you, not yours. Unless the best friend is crazy head over heels in love, that's not a problem for you.

Also, if I have a 'feeling' about such things, it's hard to make a good job of ignoring it, even if my reasons have a better idea. Usually I have to go with the feeling, or stay away from everyone. Do you have such a feeling?


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MR_BOGAN
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29 Apr 2008, 7:50 am

Number 3 sounds a little like me :) . I think I can come accross a little bit fake and it takes a while to get to know me, I find it hard to be myself until I know someone properly.

Hey you should just be friends with all of them. Get to know them properly, also let them get to know you properly( they might find out they are not interested in you).

Have fun and date them to find out who you like, don't ask us.

My pick for you would be number 1 though.


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LePetitPrince
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29 Apr 2008, 11:21 am

pinkbowtiepumps wrote:
I have three guys to choose between... I've never been in this situation before, so I don't know what to do!

one of them is shy and really sweet. He likes bugs a lot, is fascinated by little details and a lot of strange ideas. I suspect he may be an Aspie as well. I do like him, and I love hearing how he views everything, but I'm worried that things may get a bit awkward since we're both two very quiet people...


won't work

Quote:
another one is EXTREMELY attractive, but I've been told that he's a bit full of himself. He's also inconsistent with his attempts to hang out with me. He'll call me Wednesday and say we should plan something on Friday night, but friday passes and he calls again Saturday. This really bothers me!


Your female instinct is choosing this one.


Quote:
the last one is really funny, he's a male version of me pretty much, except he's really talkative! We joke around - we're both very silly, and he seems to be making a lot of attempts to hang out with me. He's just a lot of fun, and I have a really good feeling about us being friends. I'm worried though because there's a possibility that he may be a little fake (though it's too early to tell). I also know for a fact that his best friend liked me a little while ago, and I'm friends with him too, so I don't want anything to get awkward between all of us or between them.

So yeah... what should I do? I'm kind of leaning toward the last guy, but any opinions?


Read the bold words, it won't work



This is my opinion,try the table method too as I suggested above .



pinkbowtiepumps
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29 Apr 2008, 11:32 am

See, with the third one, he is so friendly and over-the top that i sometimes wonder if it's real. He seems to put on an amusing show all the time which is awesome, and he's such a nice guy and has such positive energy that I have a feeling it's just his personality - at least that's what I'm hoping.


Quote:
Your case is a fine example of the natural selection in the serial monogamy system.

Pick the best one, the alpha male among these three. You'll regret later if you don't and the beta will live misery with you because you are unconsciously going to compare him with this alpha each time you get upset of him.
How to detect the alpha? You are a girl , you should know better.

You can make a comparison table to make things easier , put scores to each one of them for looks, wealth, success, confidence, personality.... and pick the one with highest score, the alpha male. I witnessed a girl did that before and it's quite helpful.

Unlike the popular belief ,love is very logical. If illogical love exists or 'love from first sight' exists you wouldn't even post this thread.


You make a good point, lepetitprince. I think I'll score them... it's just really difficult to choose because lately they've all been putting pressure on me to hang out, and I only have so much time... thanks for all your help though!



LePetitPrince
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30 Apr 2008, 1:07 am

^^ Good girl, that's the right attitude, don't forget to tell us later which one you picked.



Last edited by LePetitPrince on 30 Apr 2008, 1:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

MR_BOGAN
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30 Apr 2008, 1:08 am

Yeah let us know how you get on. Remeber to follow your heart. :heart:


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Last edited by MR_BOGAN on 30 Apr 2008, 2:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

LePetitPrince
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30 Apr 2008, 1:09 am

Mr Bogan, I like you (I am straight ,don't scare) , do you know why?
Because you remind me of me when I was a young naive.



MR_BOGAN
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30 Apr 2008, 1:17 am

Were you giving her genuine advice :? I'm not sure on your logic.


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Last edited by MR_BOGAN on 30 Apr 2008, 2:31 am, edited 1 time in total.