Danciquette--More queries from EA

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EA
Tufted Titmouse
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31 May 2008, 2:14 pm

Hey guys. Since I last visited, I've been making friends with a girl in the grade below me. I rather fancied her, and we've a lot in common (at least, more than the other girls I've had crushes on). I was a little trepidous of approaching her, because she leads a rather active social life, and its hard for an aspie like me to know if she's 'available'. However, that went away when my sister told me the girl in question wanted was thinking of asking me to the senior prom. I got the drop on her, and she said yes. Now I'm trying to figure out if this means I can break into the 'dating' zone, or if she thinks of me just as 'a friend' So I've decided to ask my fellows here at WP if they've any advice. I'm faced by a couple old problems, and some new problems:

1) How should I act during the dance? I've been told I'm a good contemporary solo dancer, but I'm not sure how to act when with a partner.

2) How can I tell if she thinks I'm more than just a friend? For the first time, I've met someone I feel I can talk and flirt with without feeling uneasy, pressured or relutant. Still, due to my AS, I still lack fundamental skills, like the ability to read body language. To top it off, I'm pretty naive.

3) How should I break the ice? I'd rather not sound like a jerk or do anythingthat might alienate her.

Any advice would be apprieciated. Thanks.



pakled
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31 May 2008, 11:59 pm

the Senior Prom? Unless High School has changed, that's usually a fairly important date. I think you're on the right foot here...;) Do they still do the tux and orchid bit? At least you won't have 3 hours of Disco like I did...;)

If there's any dances prior to this; go. Observe, make notes, see what dancing together like seems to work, and what doesn't. Incorporate it into your repetiore...



ToadOfSteel
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01 Jun 2008, 9:55 am

pakled wrote:
the Senior Prom? Unless High School has changed, that's usually a fairly important date. I think you're on the right foot here...;) Do they still do the tux and orchid bit? At least you won't have 3 hours of Disco like I did...;)


From what I remember of those that did go to my prom, the whole tux and orchid bit was still in full force, although people (especially women) were more just desperate to go to the prom as part of that whole social status thing... women would go with "dates" that they didn't know that well, because going to the prom was more important to them than the person they were going with...

Also, while disco is long gone, expect 3 unabating hours of hip-hop... no matter what race dominates at your school, even if the school is located in suburbia somewhere...



sarahstilettos
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01 Jun 2008, 3:09 pm

The only advice I can offer as to the dancing is to not be too stiff and not worry about it too much. If she has fun, you did well, and if you're having fun she probably will too. If you're not she definitely won't. If you dancing is normally very flamboyant you might want to reign that in a bit - social dancing should be different and generally more relaxed to what you do in a class. Do touch her but don't be all over her, if you see what I mean?

To me, this definitely sounds more like a potential date than just a friendship thing, but I'm another aspie, so what would I know? Your sister probably knows, so if you get along with her well you might consider quizzing her a little more about this lady's feelings for you.

I don't know what time this thing ends or where you are, but if it ends and you really don't want the evening to come to an end yet, ask her if she want's to carry on talking somewhere else, (not your house - too forward. a quiet pub or bar or late night cafe or something). If she says yes, she almost certainly fancies you, especially if you keep finding yourselves sitting very close to each other and accidentally touching. You may now try to kiss her...

Good luck.