British study says more and more people want to stay single

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I can definitely sympathise with people who deliberately stay single. I guess I'm about half way to being one of them.

Relationships in themselves are not the thing. Relationships in themselves are pretty awful - 'dramatic' and time consuming or even abusive at one end of the scale and simply tedious at the other. The effort required to make them work is immense, and the worrying! Oh my god, the worrying! When will he call me, does he still like me, is he going off me, blah blah blah blah etc

What do you lose from being single? Companionship? Well, I have my friends. No, it isn't that same deep bond that you can have in a relationship that's sort of cemented by the physical stuff, but the companionship you get from friends tends to have less strings attached and just be simpler, so it has it's own plus-points. Sex? Celibacy is pretty annoying and sweetening the deal with meaningless one night stands is a bad idea. So that is a negative, yes, but it's one I can live with.

However, relationships where you get on with the person well enough that it stands a serious chance of working out, even if it doesn't end up with a wedding, are totally worth having, to me. I'm casually on the lookout, and in the meantime I'd rather be single than mess about when I know it's not going anywhere.

Then explain this: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt67688.html

Read the bit where it says 'I'm casually on the lookout' again.
That thread is just about wanting to flirt, really, it's not about being desperate for a relationship.
Why bother confronting me about it anyway. I mean, who cares! I'm sorry my posts on WP aren't all in perfect f*****g alignment with each other.

I'm not looking to spend my entire life with someone, because things change and who can say what might happen? Romantic relationships can easily fizzle or slowly transform into friendships, so I'm not too worried about what I'll be doing and whom I'll be with for the entirety of my life. But it would be sort of nice to share right now.

I think flirting could be considered "messing about." The reason I bring it up is because meaningless flirting (ie: taunting people with what they're not allowed to have) is like rubbing salt into the wound (or to a Cyberman, gold into the chest panel.) A number of girls have done this to me, and I found it very irritating, not cute. Some guys might not see it that way, but a fair number of us do.

Just a little warning, that's all...

I think most people just consider it all harmless fun, in fact I'm pretty much certain they do. I mean, this is how a lot of people pass the day at work, it justs adds a bit of interest. I'm quite sensitive and touchy myself but even I accept that people flirting with me very rarely means they want a relationship, and sometimes doesn't mean that they find me even remotely attractive. Some people even see it as politeness! I think your attitude to it is extremely rare. Thinking about it I do notice when mean seem extremely extremely senstive and don't bother them with it.
By 'messing about' I mean actually getting into relationships/sleeping with people you know in your heart it won't go anywhere with. That is offensive, and yet people on here really seem to rate the idea of going out with someone 'for the experience' even if they don't like them that much.

My attitude is NOT that rare. And as for it being "polite"... You wouldn't call it that if some fat ugly drooling bum started directing suggestive comments at you. He might only mean to "flirt" with you, but there's a good chance you'd interpret it as "harassment." The only real difference between "flirting" and "harassment" is whether or not it's welcomed by the recipient. But anyway, what hurts me the most is being reminded of what I can't have. When you flirt with someone you have no feelings for, it's a kind of mockery of their emotions.

How do you know you're attitude isn't rare? In the wider world, at work and at gigs and on other forums all I ever see is people flirting with each other and about 5% of it is meant. I have never heard anyone make comments to the effect of yours outside this forum, apart from when they are repeatedly led on by one person, which is different. Yes, flirting is considered to be polite by a lot of people, especially if you are a man. Note that done properly it does not involve any 'suggestive comments', certainly no 'drooling', (those things are not flirting at all!!), just a slight over-friendliness. THAT is the difference between flirting and harassment - flirting is respectful towards the recipient. It makes most people feel more at relaxed.
It is not a mockery of peoples emotions because among most people there is a mutual understanding of how little it means and the intentions behind it. If you accept why it's done and just enjoy it for what it is then you won't be disappointed.

Another point to make is that often when you flirt with somebody a little you don't know yet if you have feelings with them, you are still trying to work out how much you like them. Often I couldn't have told you if I was really into someone, then I spend some time with them that's maybe a bit flirtatious, although not overly so, and by the end of that I know if I'm serious.

I defiantly want to find someone to share my life with. However if I manage to have a 3rd relationship & it ends up ending in a disaster & I get burned because I got used again or something; I may give up & decide to stay single but I doubt I'll be happy being single either.

This. I wouldnt mind either one honestly as both have goods and bads.

I would eventually like to find someone to be in a relationship with. Though I'm very wary of marriage or any other legal contract with similar effects because of the nature and percieved bias of the judiciary system in these areas when things go sour. So if (hopefully when) I find myself in a longlasting relationship I'd very much prefer to officiate it with as little legal dependency on eachother as possible.

I'm not going to seek it out, but if a promising relationship comes my way I won't reject it.

I am interested in a relationship, but I do not want to live with this hypothetical woman. I wish to live alone.

Besides, even though I am interested, I am very apathetic about it. I do not look for women and, excluding physical attractiveness, there is no one I find interesting enough to desire a relationship with.

For me, it depends on whether I can master "Game" enough for someone to love me.

This is pretty much how I feel about it.

I think, though, that in my situation it simply won't find me. I have to find a way to be more proactive, I have to make experiences happen for me. And not vomit from it.

Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008

Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2011


Arise O' dead thread, you will sleep no more!