Decent Dating Sites; know any?

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Tim_Tex
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20 Aug 2008, 4:20 pm

crackedpleasures wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
Zara wrote:
Oh, and sometimes I do get miffed by such a majority of females who come off in their profiles as anti-sex. Nothing works quite better to make a man look the other way that giving the impression you hate sex. Be realistic ladies.



I have noticed people putting "Christian" for their religion, thinking that if they put that, they'll deter anyone who they think is just wanting a one-night stand.

Then when they contact me, I find out that they're really Wiccan, or something similar.


why is religion so important for you in your partner search?? You say yourself that you believe in God but don't follow most biblical rules, that you feel too liberal to follow the rules, ... and still you restrict yourself to girls of only the same faith?? Is it a friend to join you to church you're after, or a partner? In the latter case: just my advıce: look at things in common and general character but don't focus on religion that much. The more detailed your search, the lower the chances to find what you want. Love is about compromising and it should work as long as you agree on the things most important to you. For someone who claims to be very liberal, it sounds odd that religion is one of those things that you consider something a compromise is impossible.
But hey, in the end it is your choice. This was not meant as criticising but just as giving advice to increase your chances.




I do see OKcupid has an incredibly detailed list of questions so it seems good (the games sound a bit odd but well, you can opt out of those).
Just two questions though (because you cannot browse profiles before signing up):
- is there not an unbalanced ratio male-female? Because it appears to me that some dating sites have much more male members than female members, and it's females I am looking for ...
- are the members mostly American or is there a good number of Europeans on that site as well? I live in Europe and will either move to the Middle East or to northern Europe soon ; so a dating site full of girls in California or Toronto would not help me much further.


It's possible to be both Christian and liberal. It's just that the people I speak of are kinda capitalizing on the stereotype that all Christians are conservative.


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crackedpleasures
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20 Aug 2008, 4:37 pm

I know religion and conservative views are not necessarily going together. I mean, I fancy a Muslim girl right now and she hardly ever goes to a mosque...

But what I mean is: why do you so much insist on your girl being Christian? I mean, if you feel comfortable with her, you share the same dreams in life, have shared interests, and religion is the only thing not having a common view ; would you still refuse her?

For me personally only the travelling lifestyle is of capital importance. On all other subjects I am willing to make compromises. I can understand certain things mean too much to you to want to make compromises on that specific part so I don't judge it ; religion being that one thing where a compromise is impossible is just rather weird from someone who considers himself not that devote that his believes are essential to his lifestyle.
But again, your choice and nobody has the right to tell you what you should or shouldn't do. So only trying to give advice, not judging your opinions at all.


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Tim_Tex
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20 Aug 2008, 4:52 pm

crackedpleasures wrote:
I know religion and conservative views are not necessarily going together. I mean, I fancy a Muslim girl right now and she hardly ever goes to a mosque...

But what I mean is: why do you so much insist on your girl being Christian? I mean, if you feel comfortable with her, you share the same dreams in life, have shared interests, and religion is the only thing not having a common view ; would you still refuse her?

For me personally only the travelling lifestyle is of capital importance. On all other subjects I am willing to make compromises. I can understand certain things mean too much to you to want to make compromises on that specific part so I don't judge it ; religion being that one thing where a compromise is impossible is just rather weird from someone who considers himself not that devote that his believes are essential to his lifestyle.
But again, your choice and nobody has the right to tell you what you should or shouldn't do. So only trying to give advice, not judging your opinions at all.


I would consider dating a non-Christian if there is a guarantee that my mom's crooked cousin and his wife will leave me alone (thankfully, I haven't seen them in 9 years), and that I can still get into heaven if I date a nonbeliever.


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fragiletruth
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20 Aug 2008, 4:54 pm

crackedpleasures wrote:
I do see OKcupid has an incredibly detailed list of questions so it seems good (the games sound a bit odd but well, you can opt out of those).
Just two questions though (because you cannot browse profiles before signing up):
- is there not an unbalanced ratio male-female? Because it appears to me that some dating sites have much more male members than female members, and it's females I am looking for ...
- are the members mostly American or is there a good number of Europeans on that site as well? I live in Europe and will either move to the Middle East or to northern Europe soon ; so a dating site full of girls in California or Toronto would not help me much further.


You can browse some profiles before signing up, but many users set their profiles to 'okcupid users only'.

The games are strange, but so are the people who make the site, so it's all good.

I believe there are in fact a number of users in countries other than the US, but I can't give you stats on that. I can only assure you that there ARE users from all over.

Male OkCupid users seem sure that there are more males than females, but the key is quality over quantity. OkCupid's core feature is the match percentage. Real life example: I met lots of people on the site, and noticed a trend - higher matches meant things went better. One night I decided to look for my highest match on the site. I'm now married to that person. We never would have met without okcupid, as we lived 150 miles away from each other.



Tim_Tex
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20 Aug 2008, 6:16 pm

I joined OK Cupid.


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Kilroy
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20 Aug 2008, 7:05 pm

your life is being ruled by something you can't even see
and people you've not even seen in 10 years

now when I say that-it sounds stupid don't it



Kilroy
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20 Aug 2008, 7:51 pm

here is what I feel, and don't get offended
I don't just sugar coat things to be nice
here's many things I have noticed in your posts

Why does she have to be an Aspie?
She doesn't-you've had one bad experience with an NT and think they are all the same-they're not. I think they are much easier to be around then most aspies-just because someone is aspie doesn't mean it's gonna work. Not all NT's are the same people I can't stress this enough.

Why does she have to like South Park?
A common interest thing-i get where your coming from, but your much too rigid, plus people can come around. I mean you assume all people who watch the show are a certain way, but again that's not true. This one really shouldn't matter. Its like me saying-no one but ABBA fans, and yet still crying that I am alone

Why does she have to be a Christian?
A religious common-place. Not a new story, you say your not very religous but you refuse to date outside christianity, which is rather dumb as well. She could come around later-as with the tv thing. Something to ease up on

Why does she have to be liberal?
Political similarities, again people do change their minds about this, I mean i was a communist for awhile-I still got all the old soviet stuff (hats, flags, music, etc)-but that don't mean I'd have turned down someone else just because she wasn't a commie. Political beliefs don't always form the entirety of someone's character.

Other things you've mentioned is she had to have a certain size chest and make a certain amount of money-that obviously will never get you anywhere, my 2 cents
take it or leave it
I learned long ago you can't expect mrs.right to just plop in your lap, no it don't work like that.
not even close
that's why your single-you have too much expectations-and that just can't work



crackedpleasures
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21 Aug 2008, 4:00 am

Kilroy wrote:
here is what I feel, and don't get offended
I don't just sugar coat things to be nice
here's many things I have noticed in your posts

Why does she have to be an Aspie?
She doesn't-you've had one bad experience with an NT and think they are all the same-they're not. I think they are much easier to be around then most aspies-just because someone is aspie doesn't mean it's gonna work. Not all NT's are the same people I can't stress this enough.

Why does she have to like South Park?
A common interest thing-i get where your coming from, but your much too rigid, plus people can come around. I mean you assume all people who watch the show are a certain way, but again that's not true. This one really shouldn't matter. Its like me saying-no one but ABBA fans, and yet still crying that I am alone

Why does she have to be a Christian?
A religious common-place. Not a new story, you say your not very religous but you refuse to date outside christianity, which is rather dumb as well. She could come around later-as with the tv thing. Something to ease up on

Why does she have to be liberal?
Political similarities, again people do change their minds about this, I mean i was a communist for awhile-I still got all the old soviet stuff (hats, flags, music, etc)-but that don't mean I'd have turned down someone else just because she wasn't a commie. Political beliefs don't always form the entirety of someone's character.

Other things you've mentioned is she had to have a certain size chest and make a certain amount of money-that obviously will never get you anywhere, my 2 cents
take it or leave it
I learned long ago you can't expect mrs.right to just plop in your lap, no it don't work like that.
not even close
that's why your single-you have too much expectations-and that just can't work


well, certain things you MUST have in common or it is simply not going to work. If she has a totally different lifestyle or idea on how to live her life, if she is desperate on children, etc then I would also say it's better to be just friends. The one thing I would advice Tim is to see where his priorities are and on which points a compromise can be made, because an exact replica of yourself is not going to just appear out of the blue. If she shares the things that he considers absolutely necessary, then I would say he should go for it. For example: she loves the same sitcoms as him, wants a family just like him, but is not aspie = she has still a lot with him in common and maybe those two are important enough to ignore that one thing where she strays away from his ideal match.

I've been there as well, wanting a girl who shares my travel lifestyle, same taste in music, same political views, ... Would be ideal, but ideals are hard to find. My priority is travelling so if she shares that one thing with me I am open for offers, that she maybe likes totally different arts than me is something not that important that it would be a barrier. Tim should IMO see which things he considers important enough that she MUST have it in common with him, and then be flexible on all other things, as this will drastically increase the number of girls he can choose from.




But anyway, back on subject: I may join OKcupid as well. The only thing that stops me is that I still hope to just run into my ideal girl someday, look her in the eyes and experience that spark. The "love at first sight" thing, the romantic way. But I wait for that for quite a while already, so maybe I should be a bit more open for new technology and give this website a try :?:


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Betterclassed
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21 Aug 2008, 4:32 am

Nah, look in real life. Dating sites have too many dangers and it's so....... boring.



MisterHeron
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21 Aug 2008, 8:32 am

Betterclassed wrote:
Nah, look in real life. Dating sites have too many dangers and it's so....... boring.


I'd have to say otherwise. Get into exchanging regular messages with a few people, get your profile set up and established, and it can be pretty fun. They have a journal feature, all sorts of tests, and thousands of questions to answer that can effect matches.



Kellindil
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21 Aug 2008, 11:30 pm

fragiletruth wrote:
The games are strange, but so are the people who make the site, so it's all good.


No kidding. It's a bunch of mathematicians from Harvard. It's not surprising that they'd make something which worked out well for the AS types, hahaha.



crackedpleasures
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22 Aug 2008, 6:03 am

does OKcupid allow to leave your location blank?

Because I am living in Germany but probably emigrating again within a very short time. So to point out Germany as location would not make sense ; by the time I have chatted with a German girl a few times and she wants to meet, my bags would be ready packed to emigrate. So can you leave the location field blank and indicate any girl from any location is OK?


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Topher
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22 Aug 2008, 8:01 pm

I will say about plentyoffish.com what I've said before:

Yes it's free, but thats the only good thing, my experience on the forums has been bad, everything i say has either been deleted or flamed. Most of the British Girls can't speak or spell properly and can't be assed to talk about anything, they just list their hobbies as clubbing, drinking, shopping and going out with friends. So I can't find anyone interesting, and those I do find which I might like have set their criteria a certain way so I can message them.

Sometimes I wonder why i don't just move to the USA. Because far from the sterotypes we hear about the US users on there go into detail, use correct spelling and make themselves interesting and are quite attractive people. I don't hate England but unfortunately we are the people to created the English language and yet most of the English people on there can't seem to use it.



pbcoll
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22 Aug 2008, 9:56 pm

Topher wrote:
Yes it's free, but thats the only good thing, my experience on the forums has been bad, everything i say has either been deleted or flamed. Most of the British Girls can't speak or spell properly and can't be assed to talk about anything, they just list their hobbies as clubbing, drinking, shopping and going out with friends. So I can't find anyone interesting, and those I do find which I might like have set their criteria a certain way so I can message them.


yeah, the profiles on plentyoffish, at least around here, are pretty pathetic. I got sick of it and deleted mine.

Topher wrote:
Sometimes I wonder why i don't just move to the USA. Because far from the sterotypes we hear about the US users on there go into detail, use correct spelling and make themselves interesting and are quite attractive people. I don't hate England but unfortunately we are the people to created the English language and yet most of the English people on there can't seem to use it.


I lived in the US briefly and I think my chances are, however low, better in the UK.

Tim_Tex, fear of what someone you haven't even seen in a decade is going to think is just about the worst reason you can give for exclusively wanting to date Christians.


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Kilroy
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22 Aug 2008, 10:02 pm

yes they are better-eez if I was in Europe I'd have had a LOT of possible girlfriends



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16 Sep 2008, 4:30 am

Had never tried online dating sites before, finally took the plunge (with low-to-no expectations, of course).

Put profile up at AspieAffection (though site says unless I pay money, my membership will expire after 7 days). How frustrating & confusing (there are no FAQ pages nor contact info. options on site).
Put up profile at plentyoffish, because it's free-though the ads throughout & across site were disturbingly sleazy (guess that's "price" users do pay-for not having to "pay to join").
From what I've read on WP threads, okcupid sounds like it's worth a look-think all those questions may exhaust & overwhelm me (though they seem like good idea, in theory).

Unwilling to use site that costs money, despite realizing that does help deter spammy scammy usage. Searching for people one might consider meeting is hard enough, I don't want to be even poorer financially as result of the search. Heck, I pay utility bills for my internet service, so an additional cost (to access a specific site) is beyond my willingness/ability to invest in.


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