Castration a cure for loneliness

Post Reply New Topic

Hey I am a man too, age 38. I wish I was someone else, a best friend married to a woman who I think should be appreciated more. It is a sin to wish you could replace some woman's husband, but I say that to illustrate I am serious here.

It is just as well I think God is providing His way. I have been dating since December. In addition to Thanksgiving, Christmas, Memorial Day, and her birthday, I just got off my fourth date with her this evening, and she kissed me on the cheek tonight. Thursday she asked me to put styling stuff in her hair.

Stick with the depression treatment. My antidepressant regimen

Morning

150 Wellbutrin/300 buproprin (chemically indentical and maximum tolerable dose. buproprin is a cheaper generic)
150 mg. Effexor

Evening

200 mg. Topamax

if carefully timed, successfully stops self pity and worrying if I will die single.
I also have weekly psychotherapy plus often monthly medication consultations with the psychiatrist, because sometimes (tolerance builds?) and the medication dosages have to be adjusted or medications dropped or added.

I forgot, you must first lose the self pity and anxiety to get the girl. I wrote my ex girffriend (1997) immediately after September 11 and expressed uncertainty for the future. I think she reasured me, but in a manner like "gotta get a grip man".

Women don't like guys who worry or pity even if the women sometimes do it themselves. Me thinking it makes sense if the chips really fall down emotionally she may need someone to be strong her, and she may be counting on that.

It might not be an accident I was on heavy antidepressant coverage and weekly therapy when I started dating in December.

I'd like to know where you heard that. From what I've read, castration effectively cuts off 90% of a man's testosterone, which is the principle chemical in sex drive. No testosterone, no sex drive.

Sex drive and loneliness are two different things.
I'd imagine it would cut the sex drive, but your still gonna be just as lonely so your not really fixing anything at all.
Keep your balls as they help keep your options open.
Losing them is the same as saying, "I don't want kids, and I don't want to date someone that wants kids...ever! Also, she better have a low sex drive like me."
No sense in limiting your pool, your already at a disadvantage with AS. Don't multiply that factor.

(Not to mention, orgasms are less intense for guys w/o those vital pieces of equipment)

My pool is already gone, so the way I see it, I would have nothing to lose. But I agree that loneliness and sex drive are two different things. Castration probably won't get rid of loneliness.

If a girl approaches you, randomly, because for some reason she finds you "interesting"...you don't want to be like "You don't want kids do you? Hahaha". It might be a rare chance, but getting AS is a "rare chance" as well.

Well, I don't want kids anyway. It would be too great a responsibility for me. If having kids is important to a girl, then she shouldn't date me.

He's probably thinking of a vasectomy and not castration. A vasectomy prevents sperm from being ejaculated with the semen, but does not lower the sex drive. A castration stops everything including all sex drive.

And that exactly what pushes men into Fakeness.

I tried to look for a letter from my ex to help support my statement that women do not like guys who self-pity or worry. I could not find one after 1999.

But I do distinctly remember what she told me on the phone now that I have had time to clearly think.

"You'll get a girlfriend."

It was a sarcastic kind of tone of voice, kind of a lecture, a promise. I even wondered if it was because she was Aspie (I know she was bipolar, and cousin) and the neurocompatibility angle would come back and go my way again.

The 26 year old I am dating now (I am 38) I thought was NT. But I noticed she was rocking in her movie theater seat. Is she stimming? I have to keep an eye on her.

Dammit I said I was thirty eight years old

You don't need to prove that "women don't like guys who self-pity or worry"... it is common knowledge. But the truth is that EVERYONE has something to worry about, including guys. They only pretend that they have nothing to worry about. They shouldn't have to pretend, but it's necessary to do so in order to attract a woman. The only women who are attracted to insecure men are control freaks.

I direct your attention to GroovyDruid's article on the nonverbal aspects of dating.

Sure, it has too much in common with tactics used by guys just looking to seduce ladies. I wonder why I have been able to date ___ for seven months. My honorable nature or my salary (it seems my brother and I have comparable salary trajectories after 8 or 9 years in computer programming or Web design, I am about halfway to six figures at about anniversary 9)? Lunch cost $40 for two and tix cost $20. Is that what a performance bonus is for?

Let's try picking apart some of the techniques of Roy Valentine. I've heard some Aspies say "sex on the third date sex on the third date......" I've had four dates with her and I could wait.... and the Nats vs. Atlanta Braves game at the end of the month makes 5, unless I date her again in the meantime. I suggested I cook next time.

She likes apple martinis. So I learned how to bring the constiuent parts. I don't even drink, I am on four antidepressants and two anti-diabetes drugs that react badly with alcohol, call an ambulance please! An apple martini is composed of apple flavored stuff (vermouth?) that says add equal portion of vodka and an olive. (I am glad no one at the office saw it.) The apple stuff was a big bottle, I got a small bottle of vodka, I didn't want to drug her or knock her out.... besides she did drive me back to the Metro, but I could have called a cab for that

She cooked that night, but it was hard to explain. She was working from home, but as her computer was not working she was working from a friend's place and cooked there and left the spaghetti there. So we had to order Chinese, and I ate the small order of pork fried rice and the large order of veggies I asked for on the plain rice I did not ask for.

I told her anyone can learn to do anything. I do spaghetti routinely, pizza almost routinely, chicken, burgers, steak routinely, and I am thinking of trying Mom's shish kabob recipe, which is simple: stew beef alternate onions, tomatoes, peppers on skewers, serve on rice. I can shop for the stuff locally in her town.

Chemical castration would be a reversible option I'd recommend trying before committing.

As a woman, it's probably easier hormonally to chemically "castrate" oneself. The closest I came was last year, when I had the doc. put together a cocktail of stuff I knew would work.

You know what? I still despised myself for not having made the kind of relaxed friend w/ whom I could cook spaghetti and watch a documentary. These days I'm back on that 'cocktail' and feel relatively little 'drive,' but the day after a long run (I stop at benches and do sets of reverse-tricep pushups) my muscles ache in a way that screams in my face that there's no safe, caring touch available. I =should= have it easy, right? I'm a woman. Yes I'm no longer 20 but I've found my style, I like my body, I've learned to be diplomatic. People like me now - and they BORE me to tears. Or they won't stop whining, which bores me to violence.


That said ... recently I was reading things someone had written about feeling unloved. It was a stage the person was going through, I gathered, is now passed. It started to irritate me how certain the person was that nobody would love them, based on factors a lot of ppl wouldn't find unattractive in the larger scheme of things. I imagined meeting someone that wonderful, and finding they had an attitude that negative, and how unappealing that would be. So I saw myself, you know? I decided that I =can= feel loved, and worthy of companionship that feels good. It's only on an abstract level, but I know for SURE that there are people out there who value the traits I value in myself, who share values I'm proud to hold high. Some of these people would also be non-averse to companionable, even intimate contact. Timing and geography is a b!tch; maybe I'll never meet any of them. But that doesn't mean I can't bask in the feeling that what I've got is valued by someone(s) other than me.


Yes, the mind games I play w/ myself ... it's helping though, a lot.


Dude, please don't get castrated. I don't care which way you swing, somewhere out there is someone w/ drives and needs of her or his own, and you'd disappoint them greatly if they show up in a few years and you're singing soprano b/c this year SUKT as much as mine is doing.



@ GuessWho, don't EVER go off the Effexor without close, well-informed supervision. If it "poops out" or whatever, you still have to ramp down and complement it with other stuff, and most doctors don't know this stuff. Remember Andrea Yates? Her Effexor dose was reduced dramatically right before she drowned her kids. Having gone off the stuff inadvertently (packed wrong orange bottle for trip, didn't know the half life was so short), I understand VERY well how that could happen. All that said, I really admire your self-care regimen and the support system it seems like you've got going on. And ... she asked you to put goop in her hair? She SO wants you, man!

I was searching the internet for a cure for loneliness and I found this thread again.
It sounds that I might as try this before attempt suicide anyway.

well, if you decide to do it, get a doctor to do it in a sterile environment. A couple of men that were in a group I was in once decided to do it to each other. They read up on it over the internet and tried two methods. They were in the hospital for AGES because they didn't get it sterile and it infected and infested and they were embarrassed/scared to go to the doctor with the stuff until it gangrened and all.

I have had altered cats for ages. Once the male cat is castrated he gains weight, becomes lethargic and very affectionate and clingy. The eunuchs in the Chinese Court were notorious for their social klatches. The castrati of Italy were "They were famous for their tantrums, their insufferable vanity, their emotional obsessions, their extravagant excesses, their bitchy in-feuding "

Castrations after the onset of puberty will typically reduce sex drive considerably or eliminate it altogether. Some castrates report mood changes, such as depression or a more serene outlook on life. Without hormone replacement therapy (HRT), typical symptoms (similar to those experienced by menopausal women) include hot flashes; gradual bone density loss, possibly resulting in osteopenia and/or osteoporosis; and potential weight gain or redistribution of body fat to the hips and/or chest. Replacement of testosterone via gel, patches, or injections, can largely reverse these effects, although breast enlargement has also been reported as a possible side effect of testosterone usage. Body strength and muscle mass can decrease somewhat. Body hair sometimes may decrease. Castration prevents male pattern baldness if it is done before hair is lost; however, castration will not restore hair growth after hair has already been lost.

Also, castrates are automatically sterile, because the testes produce sex cells needed for sexual reproduction. Castration necessarily eliminates the risk of testicular cancer.

Historically, eunuchs who additionally underwent a penectomy reportedly suffered from urinary incontinence associated with the removal of the penis, and they had their own specialist doctors."

The concept of castration anxiety plays an important role in psychoanalysis, though in this field the term sometimes refers


No where in all the sites and such I read mentioned ANYTHING about the alleviation of loneliness. Not ONE, Aspie_Chav. Something to think about.

Merle