This isn't me being insensitive

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Ladygirl
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02 Aug 2008, 5:33 pm

I know a lot of the topics on this board are about how difficult it is to find love-in the world outside of WP and even inside the little world we have going.

I don't want to lessen the severity or seriousness of the rest of the posts with flippancy. It's not my intention, because I was comiserating with those posts eight months ago. And then there was this wonderful guy. The kindest, most caring, gentle, sweet, attentive, sensitive,beautiful, charming guy- that started talking to me. He has all of the fairy tale qualities a man should without the silly ones (read:chauvinism).

I love him more than I have anyone else.

I've done silly, ridiculous things to be with him. Without regret.

He'll be my "rave" forever more.

I'm terribly happy.

(Please, everyone make it through the things that are happening now, good or bad so another person can find you and make you as happy as he makes me.)

I hope he reads this. :D



beentheredonethat
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02 Aug 2008, 5:48 pm

You don't know how lucky you are.
btdt



Zara
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02 Aug 2008, 10:10 pm

So that's where you've been... :wink:

But yeah, gotta stay positive as much as possible.


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Cyberman
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02 Aug 2008, 10:22 pm

Yet another example of how Aspie women are generally better off than Aspie guys when it comes to relationships. You're not expected to be "strong" all the time... we are.



Rynok
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03 Aug 2008, 12:39 am

It isn't even about being "strong".
Females generally get lots of guys hitting on them, and it is up to them to reject/accept their suitors.
If your an attractive female, chances are just that much more in your favor.
(An unattractive female even gets more dates than an average male, let alone an Aspie one)

Anyways, guys are less judgemental about things and won't tend to notice traits like AS as much as a girl would.
So a guy asking out an Aspie has greater success than an Aspie asking out a girl (or a girl asking out an Aspie guy).

Anyways, congrats on the relationship. Hope it works out for ya.
Nearly everyone deserves somebody 8)



Ladygirl
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03 Aug 2008, 2:53 pm

beentheredonethat wrote:
You don't know how lucky you are.
btdt


I promise, I do.

Rynok wrote:
Anyways, guys are less judgemental about things and won't tend to notice traits like AS as much as a girl would.
So a guy asking out an Aspie has greater success than an Aspie asking out a girl (or a girl asking out an Aspie guy).


Oh. Girls my age are expected to be the life of the party and do Girls Gone Wild-esque things. I'm neither but...
Who does the power go to if the guy and girl are both Aspies but the guy is better socially?



LePetitPrince
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03 Aug 2008, 4:03 pm

Ladygirl wrote:
beentheredonethat wrote:
You don't know how lucky you are.
btdt


I promise, I do.

Rynok wrote:
Anyways, guys are less judgemental about things and won't tend to notice traits like AS as much as a girl would.
So a guy asking out an Aspie has greater success than an Aspie asking out a girl (or a girl asking out an Aspie guy).


Oh. Girls my age are expected to be the life of the party and do Girls Gone Wild-esque things. I'm neither but...
Who does the power go to if the guy and girl are both Aspies but the guy is better socially?


To the aspie girl because she'll still have the power to wait for aspie guy's initiation and to reject/accept while the aspie guy has to initiate socially yet he lacks social skills :--)

Don't worry tho... we aspie males are just jealous of you =)



Tim_Tex
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03 Aug 2008, 4:34 pm

Ladygirl wrote:
I know a lot of the topics on this board are about how difficult it is to find love-in the world outside of WP and even inside the little world we have going.

I don't want to lessen the severity or seriousness of the rest of the posts with flippancy. It's not my intention, because I was comiserating with those posts eight months ago. And then there was this wonderful guy. The kindest, most caring, gentle, sweet, attentive, sensitive,beautiful, charming guy- that started talking to me. He has all of the fairy tale qualities a man should without the silly ones (read:chauvinism).

I love him more than I have anyone else.

I've done silly, ridiculous things to be with him. Without regret.

He'll be my "rave" forever more.

I'm terribly happy.

(Please, everyone make it through the things that are happening now, good or bad so another person can find you and make you as happy as he makes me.)

I hope he reads this. :D


It's always good to see success stories on here. Glad things are going well!


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PrincessSwan
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04 Aug 2008, 2:26 pm

In response to Cyberman about aspie guys being expected to be strong all the time I have one thing to say. BULL s**t my son. I am an ADD girl dating an ASPIE guy and I give him a truckload more support than he gives me; I depend on him for nothing and never burden him with my stuff because half the time I don't even know if he cares. I have metaphorically bent over backwards for this guy and he has an extremely easy life without having to worry about 'being strong'.
Just had to point out that my 'boyfriend' is the exception to your statement.


HRH Swan



Zane
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04 Aug 2008, 2:42 pm

Ladygirl wrote:
beentheredonethat wrote:
You don't know how lucky you are.
btdt


I promise, I do.

Rynok wrote:
Anyways, guys are less judgemental about things and won't tend to notice traits like AS as much as a girl would.
So a guy asking out an Aspie has greater success than an Aspie asking out a girl (or a girl asking out an Aspie guy).


Oh. Girls my age are expected to be the life of the party and do Girls Gone Wild-esque things. I'm neither but...
Who does the power go to if the guy and girl are both Aspies but the guy is better socially?


Neither ... it is about equality. However always the more social a person the more enjoyable ... so in that reguard the man?

Congradulations on finding a guy to date ... but do not jump the horse remember that on average most people meet lots of "suitors" over the years ... I know I have and honestly still have not had a single meaningful relationship ... but still I try because my will will not break.

Aspie guys have a harder time mainly because they deny their instincts ... we all see that hot piece of ass but how often do we go up and say "hi" ... I know I do it 70-75% of the time now and before 150% times ... the only way to break the system is to beat the system and the only way to beat the system is to join it ... so start acting like your inner bad ass ... what is the worst that could happen? Certainly no worse than the dreaded "let's just be friends" ... I know how hard that hurts ... and it is much less painful to get a smack or a go away creep ... but you know by trying new things you learn and by learning you have fun ... that's how I see it ... and although I do not have much "physical" evidence to share I can say I am 100% better today than when I let my parents and society tell me what I had wrong with me and how I could never learn to socialize ... f**k them system, cure the system :wink:


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Cyberman
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04 Aug 2008, 2:43 pm

PrincessSwan wrote:
In response to Cyberman about aspie guys being expected to be strong all the time I have one thing to say. BULL sh** my son. I am an ADD girl dating an ASPIE guy and I give him a truckload more support than he gives me; I depend on him for nothing and never burden him with my stuff because half the time I don't even know if he cares. I have metaphorically bent over backwards for this guy and he has an extremely easy life without having to worry about 'being strong'.
Just had to point out that my 'boyfriend' is the exception to your statement.

Is he really? That remains to be seen. I wonder how long he'll stay your "boyfriend."



Zane
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04 Aug 2008, 2:47 pm

Cyberman wrote:
PrincessSwan wrote:
In response to Cyberman about aspie guys being expected to be strong all the time I have one thing to say. BULL sh** my son. I am an ADD girl dating an ASPIE guy and I give him a truckload more support than he gives me; I depend on him for nothing and never burden him with my stuff because half the time I don't even know if he cares. I have metaphorically bent over backwards for this guy and he has an extremely easy life without having to worry about 'being strong'.
Just had to point out that my 'boyfriend' is the exception to your statement.

Is he really? That remains to be seen. I wonder how long he'll stay your "boyfriend."


Tuche my man tuche .. did you see the final episode of Dr. Who? It was fantastic ...


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Cyberman
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04 Aug 2008, 2:47 pm

Of course there will be exceptions to the rule. But in general, Aspie guys have it worse, because guys are the ones who are expected to be tough and outgoing, which is made difficult by having Asperger's. It's not expected so much for girls. And usually, it's only women who are control freaks who are attracted to insecure guys.



Zane
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04 Aug 2008, 2:53 pm

Cyberman wrote:
Of course there will be exceptions to the rule. But in general, Aspie guys have it worse, because guys are the ones who are expected to be tough and outgoing, which is made difficult by having Asperger's. It's not expected so much for girls. And usually, it's only women who are control freaks who are attracted to insecure guys.
So true. All the more reason to learn to fight back. Martial arts and working out get good amounts of testosterone in your body also becoming a man ... like holding a job getting out on your own learning to clean your house cook and also clean up ... I am a Mans man now and why? Because I am making it that way ... I learn and then apply to life ... its as easy as that ... I realized a long time ago that nobody was going to help me so I had to help myself ... never looked back and am an even better man because of it ... as easy as that 8)


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Rack
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04 Aug 2008, 3:05 pm

Glad for you, but as has been pointed out a lot of our stories aren't going to go that way.