People 5 years older to me find me attractive

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matrix
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11 Aug 2008, 7:56 am

Is it just me or is it much easier to connect to a slightly older person of the opposite sex? It likely has to do with my asperger's, but i notice that the girls I find myself with are college upperclass. And I am just a freshman. This does have its cool moments, though. And I am not complaining. I just want to know how common this really is to have a considerable age gap.


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Hector
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11 Aug 2008, 9:05 am

I get more compliments from women who are about a decade older than me or more, but I'd say this is entirely because they want me to feel better about myself. Most women closer to my age would be afraid of doing this because a compliment can mean something else.



JohnHopkins
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11 Aug 2008, 10:00 am

I think I might be able to explain this.

You'll notice a lot of women go for older men, and that men are in their 'sexual prime' for a lot longer than women are perceived to be. This is because - and a lot of girls have told me this, though as usual it doesn't apply to all of them - a lot of women look for both physical and emotional maturity and security in their guy.

Asperger's syndrome is high-functioning, and makes us more intelligent, more restrained, less laddish and social. That's basically the veneer of an older man, one who is happy with himself, smart, well-groomed. So I suspect that, assuming you're an intelligent guy, they are attracted to you as a surrogate older man.



kip
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11 Aug 2008, 10:38 am

Yea... it also explains why my normal age range is like, 10-15 years above me. I'm female, so I want someone set, but since I'm AS, I'm like, beyond the normal chick.

Don't fret to much about older chicks diggin ya. Just imagine, they can buy your beer!


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Zsazsa
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11 Aug 2008, 11:02 am

[quote="JohnHopkins"]I think I might be able to explain this. You'll notice a lot of women go for older men, and that men are in their 'sexual prime' for a lot longer than women are perceived to be. /quote]



Whoa...where did you get such misconstrued information? A guy reaches his sexual "peak" at age eighteen and women don't
reach their sexual peak until much later in life. If you read any of those psychology studies done on sexuality between the sexes, like Masters and Johnson among so many others, you would realize that guys are in their sexual "prime" a lot LESS longer than women.



JohnHopkins
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11 Aug 2008, 11:55 am

I don't mean biologically. I mean as far as attractiveness, people like Sean Connery are still 'hunks' into their fifties and sixties (or for normal people, forties), whereas for women that's much rarer.



carturo222
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11 Aug 2008, 2:37 pm

Whaaaat? You mean Cher is an exception? :D



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11 Aug 2008, 2:59 pm

JohnHopkins wrote:
I don't mean biologically. I mean as far as attractiveness, people like Sean Connery are still 'hunks' into their fifties and sixties (or for normal people, forties), whereas for women that's much rarer.


I agree with you as a general rule, and I think this is biology. Women's hormones don't last as long. Nature only cares that women last long enough to bare children, after that it's every woman for herself. Since men don't have to bare the child, nature allows them to reproduce longer and have all the sexual characteristics that go with it.

Younger women, wait until you find out what happens to your body as your hormones wain, especially if medication is exaserbating the symptoms! Are you in for a rude awakening. No wonder their husbands are leaving them.

However! We have available to us bioidentical hormone replacement (made by compounding pharmacies), but many women are not taking advantage of it because drug companies are scaring them with THEIR OWN MISTAKE: PREMERIN. I don't know how other women's menopause went, but mine was awful until I found a good doctor in Santa Monica. Most other doctors didn't even undrstand hormones and said the most ridiculous things. I am now, very happily, a very young 55. So we will change the statistics and Cher won't be such an anomally. On top of that we are also taking more control of our lives, careers, financial, and old age planning, so we will be happier and more desirable as we age. And I aim to be at the forefront of that change!


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11 Aug 2008, 3:06 pm

JohnHopkins wrote:

Asperger's syndrome is high-functioning, and makes us more intelligent, more restrained, less laddish and social. That's basically the veneer of an older man, one who is happy with himself, smart, well-groomed. So I suspect that, assuming you're an intelligent guy, they are attracted to you as a surrogate older man.


The BS....

Hector wrote:
I get more compliments from women who are about a decade older than me or more, but I'd say this is entirely because they want me to feel better about myself. Most women closer to my age would be afraid of doing this because a compliment can mean something else.


....and the Truth.



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11 Aug 2008, 3:52 pm

AS guys think outside the box--better at any age. NT guys tend to follow the herd.


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11 Aug 2008, 4:12 pm

The emotional age of a 20 year old man is usually about the maturity of an 18 year old woman. So especially for younger people it is normal to have a few years difference, because girls generally mature a bit faster. So a girl of 18 will be closer to the maturity level of a guy a few years older rather than a guy of an identical age. Why guys tend to be attracted to girls a bit younger than them, I am not sure really, often had that question but never found the proper answer.

I would say age differences are not much of an issue as long as we talk about 5 to 10 years. Anything above that I would be a bit hesitant for. And as it comes to younger girls: I am turning 27 in a short while so the 10 year rule definitely does not apply here, my ethics somewhat make me feel bad of the thought of dating a girl below ... well, 20 would be the bottom frontier I guess even when the law would draw the line at 18.


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JohnHopkins
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11 Aug 2008, 5:26 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:
JohnHopkins wrote:

Asperger's syndrome is high-functioning, and makes us more intelligent, more restrained, less laddish and social. That's basically the veneer of an older man, one who is happy with himself, smart, well-groomed. So I suspect that, assuming you're an intelligent guy, they are attracted to you as a surrogate older man.


The BS....

Hector wrote:
I get more compliments from women who are about a decade older than me or more, but I'd say this is entirely because they want me to feel better about myself. Most women closer to my age would be afraid of doing this because a compliment can mean something else.


....and the Truth.


Nice contribution.



MR_BOGAN
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11 Aug 2008, 5:40 pm

JohnHopkins wrote:
I don't mean biologically. I mean as far as attractiveness, people like Sean Connery are still 'hunks' into their fifties and sixties (or for normal people, forties), whereas for women that's much rarer.


It's more to do with the fact that women produce the babies. A man can have a child at any age, but a women needs to be in her late teens to early thirties. That is my theory on the difference in attractiveness.

I agree with wonderwoman



carturo222
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11 Aug 2008, 7:57 pm

For all those times I've envied women, thinking of this fact of nature is a relief.



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11 Aug 2008, 10:22 pm

I discovered a similar reaction from women, but with escorts. (My bad looks prevent me from having many experiences with "free" women.) I found out that older escorts, which would be 27 and up, respond to me much more warmly than younger escorts, which would be 18 to 26. The older ones seem to be more affectionate and more comfortable to be around, which the younger ones canceled on me more than once. There are exceptions, obviously. I guess life experience has a lot to do with this: older escorts know more about working with a socially awkward client, and probably have fewer reservations about being with someone unattractive.



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12 Aug 2008, 5:49 am

Aspie1 wrote:
older escorts know more about working with a socially awkward client, and probably have fewer reservations about being with someone unattractive.

Or simply that when they're older, they get more desperate for business!