Are Asperger Men more into Looks?

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Biogeek
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02 Sep 2008, 2:15 pm

The real question is whether a higher percentage of Aspie men put a premium on looks relative to NT men. As some posters pointed out, they do not consider looks all that important, and, I have to say, it really would be hard to beat NT men in this regard. (Believe me, as a far from beautiful woman, I know.) Still, I wonder if visual thinkers would tend to emphasize looks in potential partners. More men are visual thinkers than women, and, on the average, men go for hot chicks more often than women chase down beefcake. Then again, there's a lot more that accompanies the visual thinking in AS, such as a highly developed cerebral cortex. So who knows...maybe someone should do a study.

BTW, women prefer meaty bank accounts and Ferraris to looks. All this behavior, of course, is accounted for by evolutionary biology, and it takes a hell of an effort to override the ole biological imperative. But that's what your cerebral cortex is for, among other things.



Jamie06
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02 Sep 2008, 2:29 pm

What! well I'm not like that...



Brandon_M
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02 Sep 2008, 2:32 pm

To a certain extent it's true with me. Physical attraction is the first thing everyone notices about someone, aspie or NT. Some people claim eyes are the first thing they notice, that's bull**** most of the time! You notice their figure, their hair, their face and then you get close enough to see their eyes. Much like everyone else, I'm drawn to looks before i'm drawn to anything else, so f***ing shoot me! That's not to say I wouldn't fall for someone who's not absolutely stunning. In fact, many of the girls i've liked in the past I wasn't attracted to much at first, although it developed over time. However, this may be mean but if I found absolutely nothing attractive about them, then I probably wouldn't. Personality is the factor I look for in a lasting relationship, looks are a small part of it.



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02 Sep 2008, 5:02 pm

Sorenna wrote:
This is not to offend anyone. I have met a few Aspie guys and I am Aspie female.

Aspie girls I have met do not seem to be obsessed with their guys' looks. I have dated some great lookers and dorky looking guys. I liked the both.

But the Aspie guys - 100% of them- were way more into looks than any non-Asp guy I dated. I MEAN OBSESSED. Obsessed with sex, looks, who is hot- almost like they were stuck in teen-age mode. Flick them in the wrong spot and -boom- instant reaction. And age range of men I am talking of was 22- 47.

Please don't get me wrong. I love Aspie guys because they can be very senstive and kind. But I would not date another.

Conversely, Aspie girls I have met are all up into theory and thought and philosophy and we want to talk about that, not the hot chick on TV or wanting to rub me with baby oil for four hours. OK, an hour would be nice, but 4 and then no talk about philosophy?! I can pay for that.

Just a question. Please don't take offense anyone. Just kindly point out if and where I am wrong! :-D


Post your picture so I can decide whether I have to make the effort to reply you or not.



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02 Sep 2008, 5:04 pm

Now ...on the serious side, ALL guys care about looks , we are evolved like that. Aspie guys are usually less fake than the non-aspie guys and hence more honest about that looks issue.



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02 Sep 2008, 5:19 pm

Sorenna wrote:
But the Aspie guys - 100% of them- were way more into looks than any non-Asp guy I dated. I MEAN OBSESSED. Obsessed with sex, looks, who is hot- almost like they were stuck in teen-age mode. Flick them in the wrong spot and -boom- instant reaction. And age range of men I am talking of was 22- 47.

Please don't get me wrong. I love Aspie guys because they can be very senstive and kind. But I would not date another.


Spotlight Fallacy, look it up.

As an aspie guy I can tell you that ,yes, looks are important to GETTING my attention; however, KEEPING it is something entirely different. You see, I've come to the conclusion that attractive girls are not rare at all. If you show me a face I will probably find at least five women that have a similar appearance just walking around campus, and considerably more that I find equally attractive.



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02 Sep 2008, 5:45 pm

Yes, looks matter. Obviously it's not the only thing that matters, though. I probably wouldn't be much interested romantically in a woman I didn't find attractive. The sexual drive is more prominent in men, and if a guy doesn't get sexually "fired up" by a woman, he's not going to be romantically inclined. Now if a woman has good looks but a terrible personality, she would be an unlikely candidate for marriage. The bright side is people vary in what they like.



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02 Sep 2008, 5:50 pm

Sorenna wrote:
Conversely, Aspie girls I have met are all up into theory and thought and philosophy and we want to talk about that, not the hot chick on TV or wanting to rub me with baby oil for four hours. OK, an hour would be nice, but 4 and then no talk about philosophy?! I can pay for that.

If you were a guy, maybe they would be talking to you about philosophy instead. I take it most of your aspie female friends are not lesbian or bisexual, so they do not have sexual attraction in the mix. Guys will generally find intimate activities (massages, something sensual) more appealing to do with a woman they're attracted to than, say, discussing philosophy. They may sometimes enjoy a good philosophical discussion, but sexuality is a much stronger, more primal drive.



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02 Sep 2008, 5:58 pm

of course some are, some aren't, just like NT's.

if there is something to it, i think it might be that NT's are more likely to want someone more generally "hot," and Aspies might be more likely to get hung up on a specific trait. chest or eyes or whatever EQUALS hotness to them.

i know i am obsessed about height. tall=cute. not really a unique opinion, but i seem to be very obssessed about it, more than 'normal' people who have preferences.


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02 Sep 2008, 6:34 pm

I would tend to think it would be the opposite because Aspie guys don't feel the need to dress up so I would think that means they don't put much importance in looks. Well they don't put importance into fashion.

I'm into looks where I need to feel physical attraction, but that is about as far as it goes. If you are with someone that you are not physically attracted to then it isn't fair on either person.

Maybe Aspie males are more honest than NT males about looks.
Maybe Aspie males have a lower maturity level.

Also I'm pretty sure that women are really hard on looks, but they are not as honest about it. Women are really selfconscious about their own appearance, so I can't see why they wouldn't translate that into what they want in a partner. Also a lot of women are really picky on height and weight and wouldn't date a person that is shorter or weighed less than them because they want to feel more feminine.



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02 Sep 2008, 6:58 pm

MR_BOGAN wrote:
I would tend to think it would be the opposite because Aspie guys don't feel the need to dress up so I would think that means they don't put much importance in looks. Well they don't put importance into fashion.

I'm into looks where I need to feel physical attraction, but that is about as far as it goes. If you are with someone that you are not physically attracted to then it isn't fair on either person.

Maybe Aspie males are more honest than NT males about looks.
Maybe Aspie males have a lower maturity level.

Also I'm pretty sure that women are really hard on looks, but they are not as honest about it. Women are really selfconscious about their own appearance, so I can't see why they wouldn't translate that into what they want in a partner. Also a lot of women are really picky on height and weight and wouldn't date a person that is shorter or weighed less than them because they want to feel more feminine.


You're making a lot of presumptions about Aspies there MR_BOGAN, many of which are a little too idealistic.


LePetitPrince wrote:
Now ...on the serious side, ALL guys care about looks , we are evolved like that. Aspie guys are usually less fake than the non-aspie guys and hence more honest about that looks issue.


Yep. Like I SAID before in this thread. Damnit! Its like people totally freakin ignore my posts!! :x



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02 Sep 2008, 10:55 pm

I hope this isn't true, it's very depressing if it is. Is that why so many Aspie males complain about finding women? Because they are looking for the beautiful ones? Please say it isn't so. :cry:

Women are self conscious about their own looks because they feel the pressure to be attractive to men, other wise they are looked over. Women also do not go just for looks, they also consider personality and they way they are treated. At least that's how I am and that's what I've noticed from my female friends. Pretty model guys don't do a thing for me. I like real men.


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02 Sep 2008, 11:06 pm

Most men focus on looks and the rest are lying.

The good news is that everybody's definition of good looks varies, and really, for some of us, you probably just need to *watch for* a couple of details and I'll like you (Yep, I figured out you people resort to tricks to look better)


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02 Sep 2008, 11:32 pm

Vexcalibur wrote:
Most men focus on looks and the rest are lying.

The good news is that everybody's definition of good looks varies, and really, for some of us, you probably just need to *watch for* a couple of details and I'll like you (Yep, I figured out you people resort to tricks to look better)


Good point! :wink:



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03 Sep 2008, 1:55 am

I never met another aspie and I know online only 1 Lebanese teen aspie who was a member in the WP chat and an american aspie woman who's just passing by here.

Yet, someone has dated enough number of 'aspie' males from a quite large age range and she met enough Aspie girls in order to observe the whole difference between them , not to mention that an aspie girl like her was also able to date many NT guys before to the extent that she finally detected the difference between NT and Aspie guys and so her personal survey study got a result of "100%" (as if both sample's size of both categories are above 30)...

Some people here really don't respect humans' intelligence.



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03 Sep 2008, 6:02 am

Sorenna wrote:
This is not to offend anyone. I have met a few Aspie guys and I am Aspie female.

Aspie girls I have met do not seem to be obsessed with their guys' looks. I have dated some great lookers and dorky looking guys. I liked the both.

But the Aspie guys - 100% of them- were way more into looks than any non-Asp guy I dated. I MEAN OBSESSED. Obsessed with sex, looks, who is hot- almost like they were stuck in teen-age mode. Flick them in the wrong spot and -boom- instant reaction. And age range of men I am talking of was 22- 47.

Please don't get me wrong. I love Aspie guys because they can be very senstive and kind. But I would not date another.

Conversely, Aspie girls I have met are all up into theory and thought and philosophy and we want to talk about that, not the hot chick on TV or wanting to rub me with baby oil for four hours. OK, an hour would be nice, but 4 and then no talk about philosophy?! I can pay for that.

Just a question. Please don't take offense anyone. Just kindly point out if and where I am wrong! :-D


Sigh, yet another delusional. Look this really getting old. Sexual attraction is an important part of romance. Why do you think we have opposite sexes. So we can talk to each other all the time. No. Agreed, personallity is greatly important, however I would and no one else in the right frame of mine would go out with and marry someone that is "repulsive" to them. Yeah there is arranged marriage but I really think that is "separate" to love. Call it a cultural absurdity of some countries that can truly fall short of the mark; much in the same way religion does when it comes to how the world really does work. Anyway, sure we have all different views on what is attractive but than again why do people recognise media protrayal of "attractive" as indeed attractive. I like to think that it comes from evolution really. I mean someone who is thin and I mean proper thin would be a sign of healthyness. Something that the new generation needs.

Obessed, no, just being true to myself thank you. I don't do this facade crap. Choose who "you" want to be with. Don't let society choose for you. If you don't want to be an obese woman then fine. You want someone intelligent but not so good looking. Fine. However do it because you want it. That's what it should be about. Those aspie guys are just being honest. Why are you shooting them down for being like that? Would you rather "dishonesty"? Surely you're not that insecure with the way you look? Come on. You ask honesty in a relationship and instead seemingly expected lies to follow. So they went out with you. Well surely that tells you something about yourself. You're "attractive".