Are Asperger Men more into Looks?

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There are some people who I think "if she did anything for me I totally would ask her out" which makes me think I'm particularly shallow or picky, but then I read up on how picky other people my age are when it comes to looks, just from seeing what people's opinions are of this woman or what their "type" is and I find out that I'm not that picky after all. Like say there are guys I know who aren't attracted to any women with red hair, or require women to be much shorter than they are, and girls who will only go for guys of a particular build. And this in no way is restricted to people with AS.

From my limited experience with other guys with AS (and being on this forum), there seems to be a fairly wide variety of personalities and tastes. It's too easy to remember the guys "stuck in teen-age mode" and remember them as great examples of men with AS when they're not. And you're not describing any woman with AS that I've ever met.

I think the poster who said that maybe Asp men are more honest has hit on something that really makes sense, along with the evolution ideas. The book The Moral Animal does address some of that, but I agree- perhaps Asp men are simply more honest which would actually make them less cheat risks and better mates.

We all want to think the sexes can get along better. With all the divorces and countless other breakups, its obvious that men and women are not a perfect match.

Anyway, you guys have me thinking and reconsidering. Maybe his obsession had nothing to do with his Aspergers and had to do with his own personal ideas or simply biology. That we are not a match simply means we have difference preferences.

Thanks for the input.

I think the poster above me made a good point.

NT Men & Aspie Men have no difference in looks preference, only difference is Aspie Men are FAR MORE Honest about it, & will likely prefer Kindhearted women, to Women with loose pants,

Okay, how about a dare? Turn on your television, flip to any non-kid channel, and tell me how many advertisements you see that show good-looking women in a slinky dress, in a miniskirt, in a bra. There's a subtle avaricious and sexual undertone to our culture. A sense of 'If you don't have it, you don't get anything'. How many popular songs imply sex implicitly in our media? This is all well and good for an NT. But for an Aspie--who has trouble with this sort of thing--it's a lot more difficult. We aren't as subtle and a lot more obvious than an NT. Liking a woman purely for looks isn't just an AS thing. It goes beyond it, because according to biology, our purpose in life is to spread as many of our genes as possible to the maximum number of offspring. For men, if we see a good looking woman, we think of that first. If she has a great personality and a fabulous mind it's a bonus, or can possibly compensate somewhat if she's lacking in appearance. This suits the NT to his T, since he has no deficits in any of his social skills. For an ASer though, it's a lot harder. I've asked a girl out once in the past 19 years personally. He may feel suddenly liberated by having an attractive, intelligent girlfriend after watching his friends parade with a new girl every other week. So before you blow off the next Aspie suitor, consider the view from his angle. He's got a lot less going for him in the arena of psychology and subtle gestures than his NT counterpart, as well as a lot more pressure on him.

Eugen Bleuler, who was a Swiss psychiatrist, came up with the fictional word "autimus". He derived it from the Greek word autos (meaning self), and used it to mean morbid self-admiration, referring to "autistic withdrawal of the patient to his fantasies, against which any influence from outside becomes an intolerable disturbance)

I believe autistic guys, like myself are very self absorbed, because we have a difficult time to relating to anyone else. Since we can not relate to people very well, and we don't see the middle ground that most guys do when they try to date, aka compromise. We see what we want, and if if it doesn't match our expectations, we tend not to want it anymore. Sounds whimsical, but it is true. I guess it is the mentality of extremes, it is either one or the other. If there is a cute girl we find attractive and we find some flaw with her, we tend to obssess about it (the flaw), and by doing so, we lose any attraction we first saw in the girl.

For some of us, like myself, we have been so shy and alone for so very long that we set our own high standards for ourselves. We are used to being dissapointed romantically, so we want the best we can get, not to settle for anything below our expectations. Like I said before we want as close to perfect as we can, and anything that subtracts away from that ruins the attraction. I have been single 21 years, and in that time I have set high standards for myself as to what I want in a girl. Let's say a girl is kind, nice, attractive, and friendly, but she goes out to parties and gets drunk, or smokes, I wouldn't be interested in her anymore. Although that is very superficial, that is what you get when you deal in extremes with what you want. There is always a middle ground, but often us autistic guys don't see it.