The continuing saga of my first Girlfriend...

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saintetienne
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17 Oct 2008, 1:40 pm

hi



JimmyNeurtonRules
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17 Oct 2008, 4:49 pm

Hey MiniMozart, Are you and Destiny going out yet?



MiniMozartAspie
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27 Nov 2008, 12:44 am

Hello?



makuranososhi
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27 Nov 2008, 1:38 am

What is preventing you from asking her? Why are you concerned that she is 'playing' with you? To be honest, attempts to 'find out' have generally be disastrous for me. You're creating a test that is designed to fail; move towards what you want... and if it happens, so much the better. If not, you try again. If there are reasons for your concerns, then there is much more to discuss then.


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LePetitPrince
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27 Nov 2008, 2:01 am

So it's still far to call her your "first girlfriend".

Anyways, I agree with maku ...there' no way to know if she really likes you till you ask her out, you can't relay on signs analysis and observations forever --> those can be very misleading. That's the hardest part but you have to do it in order to know the answer, there's no other way.



MiniMozartAspie
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27 Nov 2008, 3:32 am

What would be the straight up best way to extract the info I need?

If I just come straight up and ask... I'm worried about it turning into something awkward......... *sadface.jpg*



devster21
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27 Nov 2008, 6:02 am

I'd just ask her if I were you. It doesn't sound like you have a whole lot to lose. I hope shes not just trying to avoid an awkward moment, but you don't have much to lose other than having to cut it off with her if she says no.


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makuranososhi
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27 Nov 2008, 12:19 pm

MiniMozartAspie wrote:
What would be the straight up best way to extract the info I need?

If I just come straight up and ask... I'm worried about it turning into something awkward......... *sadface.jpg*


*sigh* I hate to do this - but there are awkward moments in life. And if you spend your life avoiding them, then there isn't a whole lot of living one can do while buried in a shelter. Extracting info? This is a person, not a database. One can be indirect; ask her to go out sometime, invite her to spend time with you, see if she expresses interest. Time is an interesting thing; we tend not to waste it when it comes to sharing it with others.

Can it be awkward? Damn right. Will it continue to be awkward if you don't make a decision of some sort? Yes. So it's a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't situation, except that you're not going to find out anything if you do nothing. From what I can tell, you two have been flirting, perhaps hanging out a little bit. Unless you've talked, she isn't your first girlfriend - but she has the potential to be. So why waste the potential with anxious unknowing?

There is no easy way - risks, rejection and awkwardness are part and parcel of this whole deal.


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AlexandertheSolitary
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27 Nov 2008, 12:34 pm

Congratulations!


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AlexandertheSolitary
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27 Nov 2008, 12:39 pm

MiniMozartAspie wrote:
Well, since today was a half day,and the person who sits next to her wasn't there,
I got to sit next to her all hour! It was actually really fun and I learned some things about her!


This all sounds so wonderful. Talking to women as friends is very pleasant. There seems in my case to be a bit of a pattern in my case of the girl acquiring a boyfriend before I gather the courage to ask her out.


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MiniMozartAspie
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27 Nov 2008, 1:19 pm

^^^^

this has to do with my previous post how?



makuranososhi
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27 Nov 2008, 1:27 pm

MiniMozartAspie wrote:
^^^^

this has to do with my previous post how?


Likely responding to start of thread, not end.


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MiniMozartAspie
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27 Nov 2008, 9:51 pm

Oh...what if she has a bf and I don't know it?



LadyMacbeth
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27 Nov 2008, 10:38 pm

Then she probably would've said when you asked her out the first time.

I'd advise just letting her do what she wants to do; she may feel a little pressured by your constant attention.


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makuranososhi
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27 Nov 2008, 11:24 pm

If you've already asked her out and gone out together in a 'date' setting, it's unlikely she has a boyfriend. Expecting someone to starting date you exclusively after the first date may be far from practical or reasonable. Take it easy, and focus on spending time together - not obsessively, just making it quality time.


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My thanks to all the wonderful members here; I will miss the opportunity to continue to learn and work with you.

For those who seek an alternative, it is coming.

So long, and thanks for all the fish!