I'm not that girl... again.

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Just another rant from me.

I always fall for people who aren't the least bit interested. The current problem is a friend of mine. It started off at work, when he got hired on. We became quick friends, and started hanging out outside the restaurant. We've spent a lot of time together over the past months... and it's developed into something more for me. He's got a thing for somebody else now, which I have to hear about on a daily basis. It's killing me. I actually thought I was coping a little better, until tonight.

I learned my lesson about being honest last year, when something similar happened with a different person and I let the secret out. Needless to say, it just made things awkward. Why is it always like this? Why can't I be attracted to someone who finds interest in me?

Yeah, I think we've all been there before. The thing is to try and make them interested. If you're already friends with them, just keep on doing what you're doing, but maybe show a little extra cleavage or something when you're talking to them. I know it sounds perverted but it helps. You actually have to flirt with people to get them interested. It's tricky,

not all. i had never been attracted to anyone. but yes, the key is to flirt.

Yeah, he's got a point here. We men get too confused about whether or not a woman likes us...

I do flirt, just not to the extreme. I can't help but get all giggly and act silly around him, it just happens - which I'm sure makes my liking him obvious, as I don't usually act in such a manner.

I'm just not the type to really put myself out there. I don't have the guts.

Well at least women like you give men like me some hope... especially considering that I'm the type of guy that waits a white after meeting a woman before even becoming attracted...

I know exactly how you feel.. I've also had the guys I've gotten sort of involved with, but not actually TECHNICALLY dating who told me they "couldn't date anyone" and weren't even close to ready and blah blah.. two of them went on to ask the next girl they liked to marry them. Well, two that I know of anyway. -_- And they just freaking love telling me about it. Ugh.

You will find that guy who will understand you and like you and sweep you off your feet.. but it will take lots of heartbreaks and learning experiences first. I might have found mine, but honestly, I don't know yet. For all I know he's going to leave me tomorrow for his best friend and I'll be screwed again.

Just be friendly, and be yourself.. if they can't see in you what you are then they're not worth your time, you know?

Sorry if I sound a little cliche there but it's true.

I know it is slightly offtopic, but relationships on the workfloor are a bit ... well, not risky necessarily, but I personally would avoid it. I have been there once when I was attracted to a female supervisor of mine. In the end it is a troubleful situation: if she says NO you still have to work together and act professionally as if nothing happened, if she YES then others could complain about conflict of interests.

Of course it can work, I even had a colleague once who married her co-worker. But I personally would stray away from it, because it often leads to difficult situations regardless if he/she answers your calls or not. You still need to work together in a colleague-esque style, which becomes quite difficult if you either are a couple or if an attempt to become one has not worked out.

Also, Nekowafer is right. If he cannot take you for who you are, then he is not the ideal person for you anyway. So be yourself, it sounds cliche but it is true. You don't want to play masquerade all the time just to keep someone attached to someone who isn't even the real you?

The reason there's an unwritten rule about dating in the workplace is because if it goes south it makes every day at work a drama fest and usually means getting a different job.

If you've already been intimate and he has gone elsewhere then let it go. Trying too hard or groveling to get him back will only remove what dignity you have in the situation and you'll be sorry you stooped to that level.

Personally, if I were the guy in that situation and you started hanging your tits in my face I'd see it as an act of desperation. If your tits were too nice to ignore you might get a quick bang out of me but I'd come back to my senses about the time I was putting my clothes back on to rush out of there.

You don't need to go there, let it go and find something better

You know, when I was interested in someone, they were never interested back, at least at the same time. I've been through this so much I quit. There was a guy I liked a lot more than other other guy I've ever liked. People even said he liked me back? He doesn't think of me that way. That had really crushed me. This past year or so I want nothing to do with love and I'm just fine with how things are as a single person. This is the only time in my life I've been asked out. And both guys were guys I use to like but got over. Then I got teased about that. They're playing around, but I loathe it because I'm kinda...embarrassed by the whole thing. My family just keeps telling me I'll find someone and I will get married, what my former dream use to be. But I have no intentions on marriage anymore. I actually want to be single.

Thats true, i can be a really dumb when it comes to picking up on those
signals, and have been told this also by girls a couple of times, and if i
should happen to pick up on something that i think maybe is "something",
i usually end up thinking; "its probably me misunderstanding something"
One time i said nicely goodnight to a girl and went home, the next day she
pretty much told me "damn, you`re weird, or gay" she had apparantly
tried to get something to happen and then i left. Utterly clueless sometimes,
she suggested watching tv in bed, i thought she was tired and said bye-bye,
didn`t want to bother her because i liked her alot.. doh...DOH!

I'm still kicking myself for declining an offer from a friend/coworker who (somewhat drunkenly) IMed me one night and told me I should "come sleep next to her." Ugh.

^
Please man, dont mention kicking oneself
it really sucks to figure it out way way to late..
i kicked myself for a long time over that one.
I liked her and really respected her, and therefor
i wasn`t "forward" enough i guess, would`t want
to do anything to mess anything up...yeah
that didnt work out to well

Manders, sorry you are having trouble with finding someone. I know how you feel it sucks.

Interesting thread title, Wicked good. LOL

Thanks for the replies, everyone. I'm sure this will pass... I just can't help but feel a little down because of it.

True, but even if he would accept your invitations for romance it would be awkward. Dating someone in your office is always asking for an awkward situation. If he says NO the situation you describe occurs, if he says YES then people will make insinuations about not separating your work from your private life.

I have been there once, fancying a girl from work, and I would not go there again I think. It just makes going to work every day a bit odd, regardless how the other person reacts on your romantic invitations.