Is being nervous around the opposite sex sign of AS?

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ACG
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19 Oct 2004, 5:13 pm

I'm a guy (33), and I tend to be more relaxed along women because I don't see them as threatening as guys (they tend to be less aggressive). However, there was one exception.

In one case, a girl said she wanted to hang around me a little, and I told her I appreciated the company. She took it as an excuse to make a pass at me. It didn't take long for the other shoe to fall...all the defenses went up. I clammed up and told her to sleep on the couch. She was caught completely off guard and was badly offended. The moral of the story was don't try to get involved with other people... :(


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19 Oct 2004, 5:52 pm

ACG wrote:
I'm a guy (33), and I tend to be more relaxed along women because I don't see them as threatening as guys (they tend to be less aggressive). However, there was one exception.

In one case, a girl said she wanted to hang around me a little, and I told her I appreciated the company. She took it as an excuse to make a pass at me. It didn't take long for the other shoe to fall...all the defenses went up. I clammed up and told her to sleep on the couch. She was caught completely off guard and was badly offended. The moral of the story was don't try to get involved with other people... :(


Sleep on the couch? Your gf is supposed to sleep in the same bed as you.


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WillyWebbs
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19 Oct 2004, 9:42 pm

yea, thats why she was offended when he told her to sleep on the couch.



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19 Oct 2004, 10:05 pm

WillyWebbs wrote:
yea, thats why she was offended when he told her to sleep on the couch.


I would be too if I was a chick. I mean if I had a cute girl spending the night of course id sleep in the same bed as her.


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vetivert
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27 Oct 2004, 6:08 pm

is there the slightest chance that you will NOT reply to a post with something about hot chicks, letsogoblues?

it's getting more dreary and offensive by the minute.

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27 Oct 2004, 6:19 pm

professional help needed :roll:

go to http://www.kfc.com/ please......


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27 Oct 2004, 6:38 pm

No, it's a straight jacket needed, I could likely get one from someone I know that works at a mental institution. :twisted: Men like you give nice men a bad name. Shame on you! :evil:



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28 Oct 2004, 1:25 pm

MishLuvsHer2Boys wrote:
No, it's a straight jacket needed, I could likely get one from someone I know that works at a mental institution. :twisted: Men like you give nice men a bad name. Shame on you! :evil:


WHy do I give them a bad name for? Im going to ask this hot chick out.

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28 Oct 2004, 3:23 pm

letsGoBlues wrote:
MishLuvsHer2Boys wrote:
No, it's a straight jacket needed, I could likely get one from someone I know that works at a mental institution. :twisted: Men like you give nice men a bad name. Shame on you! :evil:


WHy do I give them a bad name for? Im going to ask this hot chick out.

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I think Mish is referring to the fact that you refer to women as "hot chicks." I think that some people are offended when guys think of girls as sex objects instead of actual people.


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29 Oct 2004, 9:58 am

I used to be extremely nervous when talking to women. Now I'm not quite as nervous and have an easier time walking up and saying hi to women I don't even know. I think this shyness around members of the opposite sex is more a normal part of the human experience than anything particular to Asperger's syndrome or anything else on the autism spectrum.



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29 Oct 2004, 5:04 pm

NeantHumain wrote:
I used to be extremely nervous when talking to women. Now I'm not quite as nervous and have an easier time walking up and saying hi to women I don't even know. I think this shyness around members of the opposite sex is more a normal part of the human experience than anything particular to Asperger's syndrome or anything else on the autism spectrum.


True. Like the cutie at work Im not real nervous around her. Just when I started to talk to her alot. When I started really liking her then I was nervous around her. Hopefully since I have anotehr month before she comesback to work I can keep my nerves more calm and get the balls to just ask her out.


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Tom_FL_MA
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29 Oct 2004, 6:28 pm

Someone can easily not have Asperger's Syndrome and not feel comfortable around the opposite sex, as there may even be (but I assume not in the majority) those that have Asperger's Syndrome that do feel comfortalbe around the opposite sex.



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29 Oct 2004, 7:02 pm

Tom_FL_MA wrote:
Someone can easily not have Asperger's Syndrome and not feel comfortable around the opposite sex, as there may even be (but I assume not in the majority) those that have Asperger's Syndrome that do feel comfortalbe around the opposite sex.


True. I mean my stomache would hurt sometimes I was so nervous.


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chamoisee
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29 Oct 2004, 9:41 pm

I think the differenc between us and an average NT person is that they eventually get over it for the most part...while many of us may not, for the most part?

I've been married twice, and I still have a hard time looking at soemone if I like them, or making interestign (to them) conversation until the ball has been started rolling...I have yet to hear of an NT who shakes and shivers routinely when they see someone they feel attracted to mor care deeply about.



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29 Oct 2004, 11:04 pm

chamoisee wrote:
I think the differenc between us and an average NT person is that they eventually get over it for the most part...while many of us may not, for the most part?

I've been married twice, and I still have a hard time looking at soemone if I like them, or making interestign (to them) conversation until the ball has been started rolling...I have yet to hear of an NT who shakes and shivers routinely when they see someone they feel attracted to mor care deeply about.


So thats a good thing I'm nervous around her? So if I go out with her that means I would care more about her?


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29 Oct 2004, 11:35 pm

No, Blues...it isn't exactly that easy, though I find that the more someone means to _me_, the more likely I am to suffer from physical symptoms, such as getting dry heaves, being unable to tolerate being near the person much without shaking like a leaf, not being able to look at them, and so on.

Caring about someone means that (to me, at least) you love their mind and soul much more than their body or physical appearance or sexual possibilities. The latter is just lust, if that's all there is, though it's taken me a logn time to sort the two out.

I have a sort of acid test now:
A: do I get tired of the person?
B: if this person were incapable of sex for some reason, would I still seriously consider spending the rest of my life with them?