I'm an NT girl falling for a guy with AS...i need advice

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What a hypocrite...

Well it really depends on the NT.....you cant all classify them as bad you know.


I want you to drop this and stop talking. Your beating a decomposing horse.

Meet the Aspie boyfriend...

Ever heard of the phrase "I want, doesn't get"

How's that?

I won't belabor the point too much, but I will say that your line of reasoning before I gave up involves the same logical fallacies that have Jenny McCarthy and the Autism Speaks folks still insisting that autism must be caused by vaccines. You've taken a biased personal observation and extrapolated from this that obviously since you personally had this observation it must therefore be more correct than any kind of rigorous scientific analysis. The odds are that you are not as good at lying as you believe and that others do not share your opinions on the subject -- read up on "overconfidence effect" and "false consensus effect", among others.

Oh so... in other words, you just told your girlfriend or potential girlfriend that you really don't care about her feelings because NTs have hurt you in the past, so it's perfectly fine for you to lie to them and disrespect them and not care how they feel, but you want or maybe even expect her to respect you even though you're not planning to return her respect... hmmm... interesting.

HEY TOAD~! That wasn't fair! LOL

I am an NT and about as honest as they get! I have had my fingers burned in life a lot, but still felt that honesty and integrity was important.

I think honesty or lack of I should say, is a trait an NT or an Aspie can have if they have the motivation to lie...

Good post. If anyone wants to have a meaningful relationship - AS or NT - they have to put aside the burns of the past and not blame the one they are with or expect that person to bear those crosses or they will find quickly that this person will walk out. There are a lot of people without AS who still have disorders that make life hell - those with bipolar, or borderline personality disorder, etc, too many to mention - but every person who hopes to have a meaningful relationship despite whatever might be holding them back has to strive hard to have a mutual respect for the person they have in their life as a partner.

I think that AS folks probably have a harder time with this ( i do not even know this for fact, just saying this since i have read posts from people with AS who say they have a harder time wtih it), but it isn't impossible to work on not blaming their partner for sins of others.

And no, you will never gain the respect of anyone - partner or not - if you can't give it.

Can you truly be 100% pure Columbian NT? After all, you're giving us the time of day... most NT's I know wouldn't...

Okay, so I was making a generalization that obviously doesn't apply to the entire set as a whole, but I know from experience that the aspies I know definitely don't lie, not even to make a person feel better...

You also say you've had your fingers burned in life a lot, so that means you, knowing what it feels like to be burned, will be less likely to burn others, demonstrating a level of empathy that is lacking in at least 50% of the NT population...

LOL@pure Columbian NT!

Giving "you" guys the time of day? WHY NOT? Please don't tell me i am the only one who can see the goodness out of people, Aspie or not!


But I do admit, I do have a very high level of empathy. That is the one quality in people that cannot be replicated, faked or substituted. It is absolutely necessary to really 'get' another person. I mentioned 'borderline personality' in my aforementioned post, i dated a BPD person before the person i currently am dating who is AS. I in fact MARRIED the BPD. Biggest mistake of my life. I didn't know he was BPD and i didn't know how hard it was for the BPD person to display empathy. Simply put, he didn't have it. It was one of the biggest rollercoasters of my life and i will take the AS guy ANYDAY over that!


He could be the sweetest person on earth one day (the Borderline personality person) and the next day the most heinous unloving creature on earth. Yeah i will gladly hobknob with the AS community anyday after that experience (not that i had a problem with it prior)!

Yup, that's classic dry aspie humor... often arising out of random word associations that I make thanks to long term memory that remembers everything, but then randomly fires whenever it feels like it...

You'll have to forgive me (and a bunch of us here besides)... Most of us were bullied in school for being "different"... and since school is the first place where young children can interact with their "peers", it tends to provide a rather negative view of NT's, thanks to the bullying that takes place...

It's not like it got any better in high school... the only difference for me was that instead of being hit on the head with textbooks, I was "hit on" by many of the girls that wanted to use me for the incredible brain power I possessed at the time (and still do)... They weren't interested in any actual relationship, they only wanted me to ace their exams for them and then toss me aside... But, true to form, they would *say* they wanted a relationship, all as part of their plan to reel me in...I had enough social awareness to at least recognize that...

Sure, there were more enlightened individuals among the female gender, but none of them were interested in me, unfortunately... Same applies to the male gender: there were some decent guys around, but most of them were pricks...

Ironically we are smarter than the NT's too....I s**t a brick every time I think about that, lol. In middle school and highschool for me now I classify NT males as either, (1)Friendly nice to talk to,(2) Friendly nice to talk listens intently to what I have to say and "follows" my lead when a decsion needs to be made thus making me a leader, (3) arrogant punk ass who has his pride shoved so far up his ass Im surprised he can walk upright (strangely enough I always have better posture than them but thats irrelevant) these guys attempt (and generally fail) to prove my views, ideas, etc. wrong without suficient thought, thus leading them to not be able to support there weak attack and me consequently challenging there attack with solid evidence, boy does this bother me, generally these guys either give up and revert to number (2) or just never talk to me again and give me stupid conniving, arrogant looks in a farce attempt to somehow "intimidate" me. of course I cant throw everyone into all those, (1) generally serves as a general person I socialize with. NT's arent all bad, I know ALLOT of NT's that are damn near pure kindness from core to outer.

well thanks for those who replied and helped, and uhh i'm glad some of you were able to address some issues...
i think i'll start a new topic for new problems with this guy

Glad we could be of use (somewhat, lol even if like 90% of this thread is just debating lol). If you have any questions though just feel free to private message me any time really.
[[|Click here to PM (Private message) me|]]

[quote]i know that some Aspies don't like to be touched? idk if i can handle a relationship that doesn't have any touching....[quote]

My aspie man loves touching, hugging, kissing. It's the other things he doesn't like, such as doing things socially and going out.

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Please elaborate on this. My guy is very different online than in person also. When IMing he is very blunt and crude. In person he is very soft spoken and tender. I love the man in person. I do not alsways know how to respond to the man online.