Theory on why nice guys may finish last...

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makuranososhi
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27 Jan 2009, 11:23 pm

pakled wrote:

"I'll eat your Spam, I love it!" - Monty Python (origin of the term)

Erm... the product has existed since 1937; at best they could have originated a usage of the term.

M.

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ToadOfSteel
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27 Jan 2009, 11:23 pm

It seems as though the duplicates were locked and/or removed...

P-Lane wrote:

I think we are shy. Plain and simple. Rejection hurts us more for whatever reason and we give up sooner thus leading to less dates and what not. While jerks probably are sleeping with more women, it's probably because they try more often. Hell, the Pick up artist community members often say their "success rate" is merely 10% if not less. But anyway, my theory is just that...the jerks try much more often. I personally only ask out about 2 females a year and the first and only time so far when I was blunt to a woman's face about wanting to have sex with her was after my 21st birthday. But anyway, sometimes, I believe the nice guy's finish last thing is BS for reasons I stated above. Hell, if we'd just try, our success rate would probably be even better than 10%. That's my take anyway.

This is where aspie long-term memory becomes an incredible hindrance... most NT's can't remember events as far back with the clarity that Aspies do, and since we also tend to run these memories through our active consciousness constantly, we tend to get hurt by the event, over and over again...

JerryHatake
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28 Jan 2009, 7:11 am

P-Lane wrote:

Actually since this is a theory, it does not mean is true. I'm a nice gentleman towards ladies which is showing respecting to them. Also patience and not rushing into things is one way to develop the friendship and maybe even a relationship with a lady.

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billsmithglendale
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28 Jan 2009, 11:52 am

P-Lane wrote:

Couple of comments --

1. Not everyone who isn't a shy "nice guy" is a jerk, but you are correct that their thicker skin and their higher sample size (more girls asked out) leads to higher numbers of conquests. Any salesman will tell you that you get a lot of rejections before you get a single sale, and that numbers (with good technique) are what help you close deals. I think for most guys who can't get girls, not trying nearly often enough is the #1 problem.

2. You should never be so blunt to a woman to ask her to her face to have sex. This works with gay men (because all men tend to like sex and to be direct), but not with 99% of heterosexual women, and you will spoil any chances you might have with women who otherwise might eventually let you have sex with them. Play the game, take it slow, be polite, and get to your goal eventually with the right person. It's the tortoise and the hare -- the tortoise wins when it comes to women. Women appreciate patience and someone who wants more than just sex from them. This is where good sales technique comes in, and not ruining your sale, a la Chris Farley's speech in "Tommy Boy" -- "I killed my sale!"

Btw, be sure to check out my very long contribution in the "Nice Guys Finish Last" sticky thread from a couple of weeks ago, I laid out all my theories and experiences there. You can find it HERE

BellaDonna
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28 Jan 2009, 2:58 pm

P-Lane wrote:

2. You should never be so blunt to a woman to ask her to her face to have sex. This works with gay men (because all men tend to like sex and to be direct), but not with 99% of heterosexual women, and you will spoil any chances you might have with women who otherwise might eventually let you have sex with them. Play the game, take it slow, be polite, and get to your goal eventually with the right person. It's the tortoise and the hare -- the tortoise wins when it comes to women. Women appreciate patience and someone who wants more than just sex from them. This is where good sales technique comes in, and not ruining your sale, a la Chris Farley's speech in "Tommy Boy" -- "I killed my sale!"

I have to be honest if I am attracted to them. I do not mind them asking or showing me they want sex because I want it to.

P-Lane
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28 Jan 2009, 8:46 pm

sorry about the spam....seriously. They kept saying they'll be back in 2-3 minutes so I kept posting but...yeah.

P-Lane
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28 Jan 2009, 8:55 pm

billsmithglendale wrote:

P-Lane wrote:

Don't tell me what to do. I don't have to be polite if I don't want to. If I want to have sex, I'll say it. I HATE IT when you little b*****s are like ooooooh don't offend the ladies! seriously f**k off.

Marcia
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28 Jan 2009, 9:48 pm

P-Lane wrote:

Ah! I think you've revealed the real reason for your lack of success with the ladies. :roll:

And ... you've also given a helpful illustration of what many would consider to be "not a nice guy"... :wink:

P-Lane
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28 Jan 2009, 9:56 pm

Marcia wrote:

P-Lane wrote:

Ah! I think you've revealed the real reason for your lack of success with the ladies. :roll:

And ... you've also given a helpful illustration of what many would consider to be "not a nice guy"... :wink:

I get laid every day of the week b***h Do you?

P-Lane
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28 Jan 2009, 10:00 pm

Marcia wrote:

P-Lane wrote:

Ah! I think you've revealed the real reason for your lack of success with the ladies. :roll:

And ... you've also given a helpful illustration of what many would consider to be "not a nice guy"... :wink:

Hows your family member with autism. You don't know what it's like to be autistic. why the hell are you here?

sands
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28 Jan 2009, 10:58 pm

I personally believe that nice guys are already winners before they ever begin............

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ToadOfSteel
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28 Jan 2009, 11:46 pm

sands wrote:

I personally believe that nice guys are already winners before they ever begin............

Is there a prize?

...I thought so...

sands
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29 Jan 2009, 12:04 am

Sometimes Toad of Steel I wished you were older!! !! You are really wise beyond your age. One day things will work out for you...just wait and see.

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Nights_Like_These
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29 Jan 2009, 12:51 am

In my experience, the type of guys who say things like "nice guys always finish last" aren't usually the nice guy at all. I'm sure they believe they are.................but no. Looks like you've proved that quite efficiently

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Kaysea
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29 Jan 2009, 12:57 am

I think that part of the reason that women go for a-holes is that they are terrified that they will get attached to the guy, then get hurt. Think about it: if a guy is a jerk, they know they can explore their 'physicality,' knowing that they will never have to wory about getting too attached, thus, not have to wory about being hurt. Also, there is the deniability factor.

Furthermore, in my experience, after a few weeks/months, girls start to get 'freaked out' to have met a guy who is nice, even though he doesn't have to be. I have had relationships not work out because of this, as I have thus pushed girls too far out of their comfort zones.

sinsboldly
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29 Jan 2009, 1:58 am

Quote:

you will spoil any chances you might have with women who otherwise might eventually let you have sex with them.

let you have sex with them? to be allowed to have sex with a woman?

what about having a woman that WANTs to have sex with you. Passionate about you?
Why not go for the whole enchilada?

I certainly would't allow a man to have sex with me, I would wait until I wanted to.

my two cents,
Merle

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