Bullying's effects on AS males ability to initiate

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That doesn't make any sense. Fighting back also bring retaliations.

And wat's make you sure that they get some respect? you live with them?

Totally agree -- not having the social skills to "bag back" in a verbal sparring match or understanding what you are doing wrong socially opens a lot of us up for bullying. It's a vicious spiral, where the more you get bullied or relationally aggressed upon, the lower your self esteem gets, and the more in turn you get picked on.

This happened to me around ages 9-13, the point at which kids start developing more socially into more complex beings, and where a lot of us AS get left behind. I had changed schools, so I was already off balance, but even before then, I had noticed that my friends were starting to dislike me and my behavior, talk behind my back, betray me -- clearly signs I was out of sync with peer expectations for proper behavior.

By the time I had left Jr. High, I had pretty much been bullied for a couple of years physically (until I filled out a bit to make me more than just a really skinny kid), and neglected socially and emotionally by my peers, so I had no expectations that I would ever have friends again, or that any girl would ever like me. I did have friends in Boy Scouts (I was like a big leader figure there), but with my own age group, I was a nobody and a ghost at school. When I got to High School, I pretty much just kept my head down and kept to myself, not trying hard to make friends, because my expectation was that I would be rejected and neglected again -- It's a Pavlovian reaction, as you say, to the negative past social experiences and lack of trust.

Things did somewhat improve for me, especially romantically -- once you get a girlfriend, your confidence really builds, and it's like you're a new person. That being said, I still don't have many close personal friends, nor do I have the kind of trust in relationships because of the constant disruption from my AS traits of my friendships. I realize the issues are pretty much all on my side, and that it is me that is the problem, not the rest of the world. However, I can still keep my head high, be assertive, and let people know they can't F with me or put me down.

It also helps that I'm 6'2" and 220 pounds -- no one likes to mess with a big guy. I don't like being heavy, but the amount of people who mess with me randomly has dropped almost to 0 since I gained weight and muscle. Nobody wants to pick a fight with a buffalo, except a crazy person.

Then stop philosophizing and lecturing about fighting back and believing in self, people don't mess with you anymore because you are a big, and that's it.

They get respect because six girls don't kick their friggin heads in for 10 minutes while they do nothing. Instead, one girl tries to fight her, and eventually other people step in.

Watch the videos before you comment, so that you know what you're actually talking about. I've been watching fight videos for 8 years, and real fights for much longer.

Rest assured that if you do nothing to someone attacking you, you will get victimized far more than fighting back. Any self-defense expert will tell you that when you are attacked, you need to do something, and that bullies look for the weak who won't fight back. Fighting back might get your ass kicked once -- not fighting back guarantees you get your ass kicked every time that person feels like it.

I'll philosophize about whatever I want -- don't try to muffle me, azz. You make a habit out of putting down other people's posts and bullying them here -- is it your AS lack of social skills, or are you just an as*hole?

Plenty of big people get victimized too -- there was even a recent case where a guy my size killed himself in high school because he was getting bullied -- did you see that in the news??? Attitude means every thing, without it, you end up like him. Maybe you should read something instead of shooting your mouth off:
http://articles.latimes.com/2008/nov/13 ... -suicide13

This kid was 6'5" and 275, and yet was bullied because he was a complete pu**y, the poor kid. There are plenty of short, angry-looking people that don't get messed with like that, and who I'd hate to tangle with. It's not just the size of the dog, it's the bite.

You enjoy fight videos?


Didn't you ever think that asian girls are 'more' violent in schools toward others because of lack of supervising/security in schools there or because simply their culture is more violent than US'?

Don't get me wrong, I fought back many times, but I was wounded by a knife attack.

Fighting back with a large part of people where I live would only assure you of being stabbed or shot later.

There's big difference between "heavy" as muscular and "heavy" as chubby obese . At schools, males respect muscular guys and try to befriend them but obese guys are often made fun of, if the obese guy is violent then he wouldn't gain respect , they would only fear them , that might be better than being bullied but his school social life would drop to zero, so in both ways his self-esteem will be f****d up.

Good, polite dialog -- this I like.

I think Asian girls are not more violent per se (they're no poorer than other parts of the world, and many of the Asian girl fight videos are from Taiwan or more affluent parts of China), but that there is a cultural bias in Asia that tends to punish the weak and those who devalue themselves. I noticed this in Magnet school especially, where there was a high number of first-generation or second-generation Asian Americans/immigrants -- lots of scorn from them or anyone who was down on their luck, having a hard time, or who had low self-esteem. Unfortunately, Asia does not seem to have the same respect for mercy that we and some other cultures have, so they seem to have no problem with kicking someone who is down already, or victimizing someone. That being said, they would think twice if one of these girls actually did some damage back, especially if she escalated it.

I have not once ever seen a weapon used in any girl fight video from Asia, and only one weapon ever used in any girl fight video.

I gotta ask you -- why do you live there? Why do you not carry a weapon? Why do you not form a group for protection or find some other means to make it not worth their while to attack? Even a stick is a good protective measure -- I just bought a cane for my own protection in my area, and I own 6 guns.

I'm in the middle -- I'm not super fat, but I'm not like raw muscular power either. I'm a little bit chubby in the face and the gut, and I look like a friendly person. And so far, the only people that have messed with me have been short and much smaller, and possibly crazy/disturbed/too high self esteem.

But you should see my wife -- 4'11", 90-something pounds, and a tough little thing. Has no problem screaming back at men much bigger than her, getting physical, firing an AK-47 from the hip, holding a 70 pound TV set, etc. Short people are sometimes the angriest and most aggressive, because they learned early in life they had to be not to have other people running roughshod all over them.

Ooo I am scared, ask yourself, who was being impolite in the first place?




Thank you for proving me right, Asian culture is more violent toward the weak than US' culture then you can't really compare them.




I am a guy in fact.





I won't give my location (even a vague one) to someone who's obsessed with guns and fights on online forum. So good luck in guessing.

I have heard tall guys complain that it actually makes them a target to some lower life forms. As though you're the one to beat. Ya just can't win.

But I will tell you this from experience.....if you are 'short' people automatically look DOWN ON YOU psychologically, and often treat you like an inferior, or a child. An aspie would have to work double time to overcome being 'looked down on' both for social ineptness and being short....so guess what happens....me, I tell myself I shouldn't have to work that hard because really it ain't worth it....and.......I don't WANT TO BE PERCEIVED AS CONCEITED, because it isn't part of my nature to be conceited. But I know if I was taller I would be MORE RESPECTED automatically. Being taller would have given me a bit of a confidence boost. But the problem is people make snap judgements about my 'confidence' which always includes that I'm small.

In fact, the Napoleon complex in short men was scientifically proved wrong and just a stereotypical bogus.

Let me be clear that I am not threatening you, nor would I ever do so (I'd like to hope you are making a joke above). A big part of being a responsible gun owner is to never threaten anyone or do anything remotely illegal, as that can put your legal gun owning status in jeopardy, and I also am not one to start fights. I wouldn't say I'm obsessed, btw, -- lots of people in the U.S. own guns. It's a big part of our culture, history, heritage, and the 2nd Amendment of the Constitution, right after the Freedom of Speech -- that's how important it is. More Americans should own guns.

But I digress. Having not been to Asia, I can only speculate based on what I see on video from there, and those from Asia I have dealt with here. Lots of emphasis on respect, hierarchy, and punishment. What is strange is that since most are either Buddhist or Christian, there should be a big cultural emphasis on treating others with respect (both religions essentially support the "Golden Rule"), but prior culture and History seems to negate this. I guess they just lived too long as serfs, without Democracy, so they've pretty much accepted that it is right for the "boss" to come beat their head in. But it takes two to accept this -- one to dish out the punishment, and one to take it. Cultural circumstances aside, if someone broke from that role, physically it would become a lot harder to inflict the punishment without taking damage in return. I think a lot of those women who were so joyfully kicking their friend in the head would be a lot more cautious if the girl were standing and ready to dish something back, especially if she had a bat in her hands.

You sound less like a buffalo and more like a fat American who is too full of himself to realise when he has eaten too many steaks.

Well that was uncalled for HAL !