Happily Confessing

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Joined: 19 Jun 2008
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20 Mar 2009, 5:46 pm

I am very sorry if this is selfish of me alas I believe I may have developed happy love feelings for my happy lady friend. ^^ I but wished to ask if I should inform her or not do so, as I believe I have posted previously that I would not wish to make her unhappy as she enjoys being with her happy friends, however I am not very skilled in happy groups. Also, in what happy manner would one confess such happy matters? I believe I am very scared indeed. Also, she may be unhappy in the event that I inform her. I believe I feel very selfish indeed.

JohnHopkins
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20 Mar 2009, 7:23 pm

...You say 'happy' a lot.

Why would it make her ...unhappy to know that you cared for her?

Butterflair
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20 Mar 2009, 8:49 pm

Happy is nice word. Probably the best way to tell her is to write her a letter. It might be easier to express yourself. It should make her happy to know she is liked. Just be ready to accept an answer that she just wants to be friends. At least you will have tried and that takes guts.

Good luck.

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Tomasu
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21 Mar 2009, 2:54 am

^^ Thank you very much to both of you, I believe the letter is a very magical idea indeed. Also I am very sorry for saying happy a large amount, I perhaps believe I find difficulty in disovering other adjectives that feel happy. ^^ Sorry if this is very silly of me.

makuranososhi
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21 Mar 2009, 3:16 am

Expressing how you feel isn't selfish; expecting her to reciprocate can well be... not being critical, just cautioning. Romance blossoming from friendship can be challenging, but in my experience it has always been the most rewarding. Be happy, tell her how you feel (but try to avoid words whose power may be overwhelming, perhaps) and be yourself in how you express that.

M.

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Tomasu
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21 Mar 2009, 6:09 am

^^ Thank you very much M, I believe that is very useful advice indeedy. ^^ I but rather worried. I do not believe I expect her to reciprocate the happy feelings. ^^ I believe I am rather scared at how to express this.^^ I believe the letter is a very nice idea indeed however. *Blesses advisors with pixie dust*

Butterflair
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21 Mar 2009, 8:20 am

Definitely be yourself. You have a cute quality in the way you write. Is your native language something other than English?

If you don't tell her how you feel then it's just going to build and fester inside. You need to get it out and give it a chance. If she is a kind person, then she will accept what you wrote and if she doesn't share your feelings , she'll make sure to tell you but will still want to keep your friendship. Just because a woman doesn't want to be romantic with you doesn't mean she doesn't want you in her life. Friends, especially close ones, are very precious.

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Gromit
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21 Mar 2009, 10:45 am

Tomasu wrote:

I but rather worried. I do not believe I expect her to reciprocate the happy feelings.

I think you should have a look at this article. Or I could just quote it:

Physorg.com wrote:

"When romantic attraction is disclosed and rejected within a friendship, the result is virtually always awkwardness and embarrassment for both partners, and usually this causes the friendship to end," Motley says. "But certain behaviors and conditions allow some friends to handle the initial awkwardness, put the episode behind them, and reestablish a mutual friendship."

Through analysis of hundreds of interviews with college undergraduates, Motley has found that friends who stay friends tend to:

• Affirm that they can accept and can handle the situation, and that they value and want to maintain the friendship -- and then drop the matter.
• Return to their earlier patterns of communicating and getting together, rather than avoiding each other.
• Tell each other about new romantic interests as they develop.
• Have known one another as friends for a long time and spent a lot of time together before the disclosure-rejection episode.

Motley has also identified big "don'ts," including:

• The platonically inclined friend should not tell any third parties about the amorous disclosure.
• The platonic friend should not invent a new love interest to justify the rejection.
• The romantically inclined friend should tone down any flirtation or sexual innuendo that may have characterized the friendship.

According to Motley, deciding whether to reveal romantic attraction for a friend is among the most common serious communication dilemmas reported by college students. He says that eight in 10 have experienced at least one instance of unrequited romantic attraction within a friendship by the age of 20.

The research appears in "Studies in Applied Interpersonal Communication" (Sage Publications, 2008), a new book edited by Motley.

It would be a shame to lose a good friend. Perhaps this can help you avoid this if she doesn't reciprocate your feelings.

Tomasu
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21 Mar 2009, 2:23 pm

^^ Yaaye, thank you very much Butterflair and Gromit. ^^ Thank you also Butterflair for stating that my happy writing is cute, however I believe I live within England and am of English heritage. ^^ Yaaye, I believe I now feel so very much better and happier about informing the happy lady friend. ^^ She is a very lovely lady and we have been friends for approximately five years I believe (she is my only remaining close human friend), and believe she would be very understanding. ^^ Also thank you Gromit for the happy little quote. I believe I have not informed any other individuals of this, excluding the happy pixies here and have never considered to invent a new individual for justification. ^^ I believe I am now very excited. ^^ I thank you all so very much for your magical advice.

DustinWX
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21 Mar 2009, 2:35 pm

Tomasu wrote:

English is a second language no?

Tomasu
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21 Mar 2009, 2:39 pm

^^ I am very sorry as I believe English is my first language. ^^ Perhaps this is because I find words that I like the feeling of. ^^ I am very sorry if I use them too great an amount.

DustinWX
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21 Mar 2009, 2:53 pm

Troll.

Kenjuudo
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21 Mar 2009, 2:57 pm

Tomasu wrote:

^^ I am very sorry as I believe English is my first language. ^^ Perhaps this is because I find words that I like the feeling of. ^^ I am very sorry if I use them too great an amount.

Don't apologize all the time! :wink:

DustinWX wrote:

Troll.

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DustinWX
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21 Mar 2009, 6:59 pm

I apologize for my insult, I was mistaken.

Tomasu
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22 Mar 2009, 4:03 am

^^ You need not apologise. I must say I am rather confused and knew not that it was an insult. ^^ I believe being a troll would be fun.

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