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Cutlass_Jack
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20 Apr 2012, 10:44 pm

Ok I've been doing somethings with this girl for about a week or so (like going to the beach and doing a school project) and I'm wondering how I should ask her out? Any advice guys?



MinorAnnoyance
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20 Apr 2012, 11:18 pm

Last time I did I said "I couldn't think of a cool way to say this but, do you have a boyfriend and do you wanna hang out sometime?" That wouldn't work for you since you already hang out, but my general thinking was to be direct but undercut the potential seriousness, and I asked if she had a boyfriend in the same sentence so there was no mistaking my intentions.



Cutlass_Jack
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20 Apr 2012, 11:29 pm

I know she doesn't have a boyfriend. If it helps she has told me some real personal stuff that I don't think she would tell just anyone else, (even her own family) so I think she likes me, but i'm not real sure.

I won't mind if I get friend zoned, I just don't to want end up looking creepy and losing a potential friend.



cozysweater
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20 Apr 2012, 11:56 pm

I'm not a guy but here's my 2 cents:

If you've been hanging out as friends - don't chicken out! Make it clear that it's a date.

#1 - Find something that you think she would be interested in that you would also find interesting. (In my experience, dinner and a movie sucks for a first date because it defers most of the uncomfortable talking to the second date - pick something either REALLY cool or something that will allow you to talk. Either one followed by a meal of some kind)

#2 - Ask her if she would like to go see this interesting thing with you and be prepared with specific details
(Ex: Hey Sophie, the library is doing a Paint Like Mark Rothko thing this weekend. Would you be interested in going with me?)

#3 - She'll either say yes or no. If she says yes, have details ready. What time, where, what type of clothes she should wear. (dressy? casual? something she wouldn't mind getting dirty?) Have a plan for either drinks or a meal or a walk or something after if you'd like the date to last past the interesting event.

Never ever ever start with: "What are your plans for ... (this or that day)" That's entrapment and it's not nice. It's a good idea to have an activity in mind and a day/time in mind because if she already has plans for that date/time but she IS interested she can express that and maybe even suggest an alternative. Also it shows you put thought into it and didn't just say "wanna hang out sometime?" (which FYI is not a date. Also DON'T INVITE FRIENDS)

Edited to add: If you ask someone on a date, you pay. If they ask you, they pay. (If the relationship works out you have plenty of time to go dutch)



Cutlass_Jack
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22 Apr 2012, 7:27 pm

OK I'm bumping this topic because I really need some help. She invited me over to her house today but I din't say anything about us because her mom was home and it would have been real awkward if she said no and I was around her all day. I'm walking home from school with her on tuesday. Would that be a good time to tell her?



cozysweater
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22 Apr 2012, 11:18 pm

Yes. Although typically girls like to be asked. Not so much told :)

ETA: It just occurred to me that you might be considering pouring out your heart and confessing your love. Don't do that. Just ask her out. It puts too much pressure on a girl to get the full I'm-crazy-about-you confession thing. It's great in movies, but that's not real life. Where restraining orders exist.



1000Knives
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23 Apr 2012, 12:10 am

Well it seems like she's the one asking you out. You've already gone to the beach with her, and her house, on her recommendation, correct? Most people struggle to get to the point where girls will, say, go to the beach with them or allow them over. I think now all you gotta do on your end is find out said girl's feelings about you, whether or not they're platonic, or if she's romantically interested in you. But as far as "asking her out" you're already spending seemingly plenty of time together, so you asking her out could be a redundancy at best, and awkward at most. At this point, if you continue spending time with each other, you have to find out your feelings for each other. I think as far as that goes, instead of putting yourself on the spot and pouring your heart out or whatever, just ask how she feels about you, and then I guess if she asks you after, you tell her.

That's my assessment, anyway. I've never had a girlfriend ever, though, so my advice could be entirely ret*d.



Joker
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23 Apr 2012, 1:33 am

Approach her and just be yourself she will know if you are nervous which could be a turn off for her.



Cutlass_Jack
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23 Apr 2012, 2:23 pm

Thanks guys. I'm probably going to tell her how I feel about her on the way home from school.



beers
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23 Apr 2012, 3:14 pm

Best wishes to you!

Mine usually just end up in a romp around the bedroom and then I get asked afterward "...so... what are we now?".
Not inherently romantic.


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Caesaran
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24 Apr 2012, 4:24 pm

Act like the count of monte cristo to her. Adolescent girls adore it, especially poetry and romanticism.



Kurgan
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24 Apr 2012, 4:52 pm

Just ask her out; don't make it more complicated than it is. Just avoid the dinner and movie cliche. :)



machf
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24 Apr 2012, 6:55 pm

Caesaran wrote:
Act like the count of monte cristo to her.

Plotting revenge against those who wronged you (or who you think did)?

Quote:
Adolescent girls adore it, especially poetry and romanticism.

Maybe you're thinking of Cyrano de Bergerac, then...



Taybot97
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24 Apr 2012, 7:02 pm

I don't exactly remember so I'll paraphrase as well as I can.

"would you like to be more than we are"
"I don't understand what you mean"
"like boyfriend/girlfriend"
*short silence*
(me again) "I'm not very good at it but I'm trying to ask you out, so what do you think?"
"yes"

It worked even when I messed up so don't worry, as long as she likes you.



Maerlyn138
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25 Apr 2012, 8:46 am

Ya, movie dates suck because you can't talk. Ya man, just go for it. I know its hard believe me. Find out what type of food she likes then take her to a restaurant


Videojug - dating humor <----Click It!-----

watch every single one of these videos. These two are cute and give good advice!!


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RainShadow
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25 Apr 2012, 4:20 pm

machf wrote:
Caesaran wrote:
Act like the count of monte cristo to her.

Plotting revenge against those who wronged you (or who you think did)?

Quote:
Adolescent girls adore it, especially poetry and romanticism.

Maybe you're thinking of Cyrano de Bergerac, then...


I was gonna say, backstabbing and betrayal mixed with a bit of revenge, fraud and theft is probably not the way to go...

Be yourself. She already likes you enough to be a friend. Don't put pressure on her, and don't put pressure on yourself. I would stay away from the dinner/movie date though. Movies aren't good for getting to know each other and dinner puts too much pressure to talk. Get a small bite to eat and find an arcade or art show or something fun that will stimulate meaningful conversation or just enhance good feelings. Being happy together is a key thing when dating.


I haven't dated in nearly a decade, so if this is off base, just ignore me.